We start at Jen Aydin’s house, where she is mopping the floors because she threw up everywhere after getting drunk at Teresa’s pool party. And I mean really drunk. She puked all over Bill’s Ferrari, which feels like an especially expensive place to lose your lunch. Jen says she was just blowing off steam because she is overwhelmed dealing with her family problems.
Over at Dolores’s house, she is looking good, as always, and Frank is apparently thinking about bending her over the kitchen counters, but he doesn’t. Frankie comes in, and he is such a nice boy. Her daughter Gabby also comes over, bringing eight dogs with her. She is a vet and loves animals, so she always seems to have a few strays hanging around.
Dolores is also receiving an award for the work she does with breast cancer, so Gabby is home to be there for that. And watching this, I am once again reminded that I really need to get my mammogram. It’s been years.
At Teresa’s, her daughters are popping each other’s zits in the kitchen and I gag. My mother would have killed me for doing that. They call Joe in Italy and he is selling “massagers” and sex toys for a living. Teresa is going in on it with him, since it is doing so well. Teresa is putting the house up for sale now that her divorce with Joe is final. They talk about missing Nono and planning a memorial for him at the Jersey shore. His funeral was small because of COVID. This makes me cry. I also lost my mom during COVID, and I can’t even bear to think of the funeral.
Teresa feels like an orphan now that both of her parents are gone, and I could cry for her. I am so lucky to have my dad. He’s literally in the next room and refinished my counters for me this morning. I think I will make him a sandwich.
Dolores is at David’s house preparing for a luncheon to celebrate her award. David pops by for about two minutes. He is a jerk, and he looks like Squidward. All of the women arrive, and he stays just long enough to say hello and tell Jennifer she is too skinny before taking off back to work.
Jennifer doesn’t understand David and Dolores’s relationship. Jackie arrives and is relieved that Teresa won’t be there. They are still on the outs because Teresa is spreading rumors that Jackie’s husband, Evan, is cheating.
Marge makes a snide comment about Jennifer’s drinking and how she fell on her face at Teresa’s pool party. Marge says it brought back memories of Marge Sr. drinking during her childhood. I say she just doesn’t like Jen. You don’t need to dust off a childhood trauma every time someone gets drunk at a pool party.
Melissa questions Dolores about why she won’t move in with David and whether or not she wants to get engaged.
Melissa really won’t lay off the personal questions with Dolores. She even asks about her sex life with David. Melissa better tread lightly. Dolores looks annoyed.
They discuss the upcoming shore trip and who is staying at whose house. Jackie doesn’t want any trouble with Teresa. Let’s hope Teresa feels the same way.
We see shots of the women packing. Everyone is wondering how the Jackie/Teresa situation will play out. Teresa is repeating rumors that Evan is cheating. Bill Aydin tells Jennifer that Joe B. said he has also heard the rumors. It’s true—he said it at guys’ night, and he is going to get in big trouble for it.
Jennifer eats this information up and tucks it away for later. Stay tuned.
They all head to the shore, and I am so jealous. I haven’t been to the beach or seen the ocean once this summer. It’s a travesty. I want to go to Point Pleasant and eat calamari with Frank Catania. I hope he sees this.
During the drive, Dolores, Frank, Jen Aydin, and Teresa discuss Teresa’s divorce. Dolores tells Teresa she hopes she meets a guy who sweeps her off her feet and takes care of everything for her. I hope Dolores drops David and finds the same thing.
They also discuss the Jackie situation. Teresa just hates Jackie. Jennifer drops the Joe B. bomb and says Joe B. and Marge have also heard the Evan rumors. Frank looks really uncomfortable. He wants no part of it.
They all arrive at their respective shore houses and I want one.
Joe Gorga uses a fly swatter to look up Melissa’s dress. He is a smooth operator, that one.
Everyone is going to Dolores’ for dinner. Teresa gets a call that someone already wants to come see her house, which she has just put up for sale. It’s emotional, but exciting for her. She thinks she and the girls are ready for a fresh start.
Everyone arrives for dinner, and things are off to a good start until Teresa hands out sex-toy gifts to all the women. These things are huge. She tells Jackie to stick hers up her ass. This is such a Jersey-style insult. They are always telling each other to go scratch or stick it up their ass.
Jackie and Teresa argue about what is, or is not, an olive branch and agree not to be friends. Melissa warns Jackie that Teresa is not done with her yet.
They set the food up outside, and it is a full Italian feast at the shore. They all discuss Teresa’s divorce again, and she tells Melissa, Joe, and Dolores that they should eat their words about Joe Giudice. They all thought he would try to screw her over, and he was a class act throughout the divorce.
Joe Gorga immediately goes on the defense, saying Joe Giudice was not good to Teresa and that he has been spreading rumors about the Gorgas. Melissa tries to stop the conversation, and Teresa tells her to shut up. Teresa wants Joe Gorga to promise to stop talking negatively about Joe Giudice.
Jackie tries to be strong and just looks weepy and skinny. Teresa brings up what Joe B. said at boys’ night, and he looks terrified and denies it. Marge is furious and tells Jen Aydin to shut the fuck up. Marge is screaming and berating Joe B. He said it. We all heard him.
Jackie says Teresa treats everyone like shit, and we get flashbacks of this over the years. Jackie looks like she is about to start crying, but denies it. Teresa tells Jackie she isn’t confident, and Teresa likes being around confident people. Jackie fires back, “Did you get that confidence in jail?” and it is on like Donkey Kong.
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