• In Salt Lake City, we see Mary discussing the recent release of her son, Robert Jr., who spent six days in jail. She is grateful to her cousin for picking him up, and she feels that the stint in jail helped him get clean and sober. She prays that he stays that way.

    Then we cut to three weeks later, and the other women are reacting to the news that Robert Jr. has died.

    It’s very, very sad.

    Angie is hosting a gathering for all of the women. Mary isn’t attending, for obvious reasons. Angie wants everyone to put their differences aside and come together to help Mary mourn.

    The women acknowledge what a loss Mary has experienced, and what a kind person Robert, Jr. was. None of them can comprehend what Mary must be feeling. Robert was her only son, and he was her whole world.

    They all agree to keep checking in on her and inviting her to things. They admit that they have taken each other for granted, and Heather hopes that Robert’s death reminds them how fragile their relationships are.

    Whitney gets very emotional and says she wants to apologize for some things. Meredith tells us Whitney has a lot to apologize for, but that this is not the time or the place. She says that a lot.

    The group leaves off determined to rally around Mary.

    Later, we see Lisa at home making grilled cheese, but she doesn’t know how to turn on the burner. I am not much of a cook, so I am not gonna be judgy here.

    Lisa says Mary’s loss has made her realize how important time with her sons is. Now that they are older, Lisa is feeling like she has zero control.

    The grilled cheese is a success, and Lisa sits with John to discuss Mary’s loss. John says that he realizes that last year, he was not a safe space for Lisa, but that she is always one for him. He says he was in a dark place and didn’t share it with her.

    John explains that their lunch fight from last season was his fight and apologizes.

    I feel like Lisa made him do this. Why apologize so long after the fact, and why do it on camera?

    Whitney and Bronwyn meet up to play pickleball, and Whitney says that she and Bronwyn have really bonded since the reunion. A lot of people seem to think they have a girl crush on each other, but Bronwyn says it isn’t like that.

    They discuss Robert’s upcoming services. Bronwyn’s estranged husband, Todd, offered to fly in to attend with her, but she declined. She feels like they were always arguing, and that the separation was the right thing to do.

    She says the death of their relationship was when Todd didn’t do anything for her fortieth birthday. Bronwyn feels like she protected Todd at the expense of herself.

    Bronwyn is currently dating a model, and Whitney has met him.

    Whitney feels like she still needs to apologize to Meredith and Lisa for comments she made about them. She says she doesn’t want to blame alcohol for it, but that she feels like she has to give up drinking. She worries that Meredith won’t be receptive to her apology.

    A very slim Heather makes brownies with her daughter, Georgia. All of her daughters are pretty much out of the house, and she is loving it. She wants them to live independently, and admits she pushed them out of the nest a bit.

    Her other daughter calls, and they discuss Heather’s upcoming date that night. He arrives on a motorcycle, and Heather stares out the window waiting for him.

    He’s cute, but not what I pictured for Heather. I don’t know why.

    But anyway, she looks very happy and is officially off the market. They connected over being bad Mormons together, which kind of sounds like fun, if you ask me.

    Heather tells us they dated before ten years ago, but she caught him texting other girls and stopped speaking to him, although she compared other guys to him. So, she texted him, and now they are on like Bad Mormon Donkey Kong.

    Georgia puts him through a bit of an interview, and it feels silly and staged. No one does this kind of stuff.

    At Bronwyn’s, she is trying to unpack after seven weeks away. While she was out of town, a realtor called and asked if she and Todd were really getting divorced, and Bronwyn put her house on the market. It’s sold, and she has to get out soon.

    She is planning on not only moving, but on buying her daughter a house. Nice mom.

    Bronwyn hasn’t seen Todd, and they haven’t filed for divorce, but she wants to start the process. She feels like she has never done anything on her own, and is scared to be alone. Her mother doesn’t even think she should be dating, but Bronwyn is having some fun. Her daughter is uncomfortable with it, but the chick is getting a house so I think it’s time to suck it up, buttercup.

    Next, we see Meredith meeting up with Lisa. Meredith is feeling like she looks young after a recent facelift. I hope John Jannsen didn’t pay for that. She actually looks really good.

    Lisa tells Meredith about John’s apology. Lisa tells us that after watching last season’s lunch fight with John, she really thought they might be done, and now she feels like they are in a good place.

    They discuss the meeting at Angie’s, and they are both still pissed at Whitney for saying she doesn’t like them. They actually think Whitney hates them both, and that she is a clown.

    Lisa wants to keep peace and move forward for Mary’s sake, but thinks Whitney is just a dingbat with no credibility.

    At Mary’s, she visits Robert’s room to get his dog out, even though she had been avoiding going in there. She is really sweet with the dog, and it reminds me of how she was with her son. Mary says the dog reminds her of Robert and comforts her. 

    Mary says that her son was her best friend, and that they shared a special love. She misses their conversations and his company.

    Meredith comes over, and Mary tells her that she is ready to come back to the group. She believes that Robert would want her to continue, and that his spirit will live in her forever.

    Heather arrives and tells us that Mary doesn’t like to ask for help, but that she is there for her.

    Lisa and Whitney come in, and Meredith and Lisa are super frosty to Whitney.

    Bronwyn and Angie also come to show their support for Mary.

    Mary thanks everyone for showing up for her, and they all say Robert’s services were beautiful. Everyone was very moved.

    Mary feels at peace, and that Robert no longer has to struggle with his addictions. The women reassure her that she did everything she could for him.

    Mary encourages the women to believe they can overcome anything. She says they have gotten her through this when her own siblings have not even contacted her.

  • We are back in New York, and Carole is dressed like a twelve-year-old wandering the streets of downtown. She can’t believe she is back, and neither can I. I can’t say I am happy.

    She says that over the last eight years, she has gotten back into writing and renovated her apartment, but she still doesn’t cook. She meets up with Erika, whom she met through Martha Stewart. Erika says she wants to be like Carole when she gets older. Does she mean she wants to be annoying and desperate?

    I don’t like Carole. Sorry, not sorry.

    They discuss both knowing Martha and Daisy, and then Carole’s publisher calls to tell her that her book is on the bestseller list at number 12. Her memoir is experiencing a resurgence in popularity due to the show Love Story, about JFK Jr. and his wife.

    Carole tells Erika that she was set up on a date with someone who auditioned to play her dead husband on the show.

    That’s bizarre.

    Carole can’t wait for summer, even though she only has (maybe) five good summers left.

    Abe and Erin head out to their Hamptons house, which has flooded. They found out about it the morning after Erin was kicked out of Jessel’s Lunar New Year party. Their contractor shows them the damage, which is extensive.

    Their entire master bedroom is destroyed from floor to ceiling due to a burst pipe, and mold is already growing all over the place. Even the wall where they recorded their kids’ heights has been ruined, and it makes Erin emotional.

    Their finished basement is even worse. Erin gets pissed off thinking about all the memories she made with her family in the house.

    We see Erika teaching a kickboxing class. Hailey is there to work out—in sunglasses. Daisy is also there, so this is clearly a scene designed to introduce us to the new girls.

    Erika tells us she was in the WWE before moving to New York and starting her own business. After the class, Daisy says it’s so cute that Erika has a little job.

    Hailey asks Erika to teach her how to wrestle, and Erika demonstrates a few moves. Daisy says she wants to bring Sai out this weekend and asks the girls to come along. Daisy doesn’t tell the girls what she knows about Sai’s marriage, and Erika asks to bring Carole.

    Daisy intends to invite both Jessel and Erin, who haven’t spoken since the Lunar New Year party fight.

    They all agree that Erin talks a lot of shit. She’s even caused some trouble for Hailey and her girlfriend. It’s complicated.

    Hailey’s lavender marriage fascinates Erin. Hailey says Erin is like strawberry jam—she is so boring.

    Later, Daisy calls Jessel and invites her to the brunch for Sai, and Hailey picks up some Taco Bell. And now my husband wants Taco Bell. Sigh.

    We move on to Sai, who is worried about what assets David will want in their separation.

    Then we cut to Daisy at home with her husband and kids. We see her interact with her husband a bit, and they try to plan a date night. They have a hard time getting on the same page, particularly about their work schedules. Daisy tells us that her schedule with Martha Stewart often keeps her away from her family.

    At Daisy’s brunch, we learn more about Erika and her billionaire husband. Hailey and Erin arrive, and everyone is getting along and excited to surprise Sai.

    Erin tells them about her house and says it is ruined. Jessel arrives, and there is immediate tension between her and Daisy.

    Sai arrives and doesn’t look even a little surprised. She just seems confused. Hailey is high as a kite, and Jessel thinks she may be the only one who knows about Sai’s separation.

    Carole comes and doesn’t remember meeting Sai several times, but pretends she does. Awkward.

    Carole says she hates brunch. She is just a fun sponge and a half.

    Daisy talks about her son’s tutor having a crush on her. Everyone agrees it’s a crazy situation.

    Sai tells us that Daisy is addicted to shopping and attention, and that definitely seems to be true.

    The women give a toast, and Jessel immediately makes it awkward. She and Erin get into it about why Jessel kicked Erin out of her party. Jessel says it was because Erin is loud and obnoxious and called her a snake. Erin says she thought they had previously connected over losing their dads, but then Jessel turned on her.

    Jessel says Erin should have told her she felt that way instead of talking about it with everyone else. Carole chimes in that Erin called Jessel desperate and thirsty.

    Suddenly, Erin and Jessel are fighting about their dermatologist.

    Turns out he is Daisy’s dermatologist, too. And Martha’s. Jessel says Erin doesn’t have any real friends, and Erin says Jessel doesn’t either.

    Sai seems to be enjoying the distraction of watching them fight.

    Erin apologizes for talking shit about Jessel, and Jessel apologizes for kicking Erin out of her party. Just when things seem to be settling down, Hailey calls Erin out for talking to Hailey’s girlfriend about an odd sexual encounter Hailey had with someone else. I couldn’t explain it if I tried–so I won’t. Hailey says it caused trouble for her, and Erin questions whether all of the women are piling on her. They kind of are, and she kind of has it coming.

    Hailey insists she is not piling on, and Carole agrees that everyone is piling on Erin. Daisy then jumps on Carole about Love Story and her Kennedy connections. It’s super uncomfortable.

    I can’t stand Carole, but these were real people in her life, and these women are discussing them like they are fictional characters.

    Jessel starts discussing the current fashion trends based on the show, and Carole is clearly offended and taken aback.

    Carole says she doesn’t like it, and fucking Jessel keeps pushing. She asks if Carole thinks the Kennedy family is cursed. Jessel cannot read the room, and it’s cringey. Carole wants to strangle her, and I don’t blame her.

    Carole leaves, and the women watch a burlesque show. Why do these chicks always go to burlesque shows? I literally don’t have any girlfriends who would want to do this.

    Back at the table, Erin starts spreading more rumors, and Erika says she sees what Jessel means about Erin—she is a certified shit stirrer.

  • Plex is showing RHOSLC, and it has me super stoked for the premiere. I am home sick today and have been watching since 6 AM. I finally managed to get a little coffee in me, and I think it’s time to recap.

    Let’s go.

    We begin at Whitney’s house, where she is doing a crystal ritual to try and cleanse herself of all the residual bad energy from the Vegas trip. Basically, Jen fought with everyone, especially Whitney, and made them all miserable the entire time they were away. We see each of the women reflecting on the disastrous trip, with lots of scenes of Jen losing her shit on people.

    At Beauty Lab, Heather is prepping for her grand opening in two days. She is worried about having the space finished in time. Heather is super stressed and concerned about getting all of the girls together. Whitney comes by, and they both say they won’t reach out to Jen after what happened in Vegas. Whitney thinks Heather should uninvite Jen from the opening.

    Lisa meets up with Jen, and it seems like she is the only one still talking to her. Jen wants to start with a stiff drink, which is a great idea considering how alcohol affects her.

    She starts with vodka. Personally, vodka makes me nuts, so this seems like a really poor choice.

    Lisa says that her heart broke in Vegas and that she wants to be loyal to Jen. She saw Jen crying in Vegas and feels bad for her. She wants to hear her side of everything.

    Lisa says that Whitney told her Jen was fishing for information on everyone, including Lisa. Jen denies this and says Whitney is twisting things. Lisa reminds Jen that Jen threatened to drown Whitney, and Jen kind of shrugs it off and blames it on her culture, which I don’t get.

    Lisa just thinks Jen is misunderstood. Jen is worried about making up with Meredith. She realizes that everyone thought she was out of line on the trip, and everyone said they don’t trust her. They discuss the upcoming Beauty Lab party, and Jen does not understand why Heather is upset with her, although she plans on going.

    Jen says she realizes that she has to take her behavior down a notch. Or like 500 notches.

    At Meredith’s, she slices a banana for Seth to show us all how good their marriage is. We see flashbacks of the struggles in their marriage, but Meredith says they are now in a great place. She tells him that Vegas was ugly, and he agrees it sounds toxic.

    Meredith is furious that the women have been speculating about her marriage and wants to disengage from them.

    Whitney visits the beauty school where her dad is working and gets her hair trimmed. It’s interesting to see how close they were in Season 1, since I’m pretty sure they are estranged now and have been for some time. In Season 1, Whitney was still trying to help him stay sober and struggling to figure out the best ways to support him.

    At Beauty Lab, Heather is excited for her party tomorrow. Meredith is there and says she was disappointed and disheartened by Jen’s behavior in Vegas, but she has compassion for her. She thinks Jen is suffering, but isn’t sure she can have a genuine relationship with her. Meredith feels like Jen hurt her family.

    Heather says she needs an apology from Jen, who screamed at her and slapped her hand in Vegas. Heather tells Meredith that if her daughters had a friend like Jen, she would tell them to walk away from her. She is tired of putting up and shutting up when it comes to her friendship with Jen, and wonders if it is time to move on.

    Lisa visits her Fresh Wolf employee to discuss social media branding. She is definitely all about instilling goals in her kids. I wonder if it’s too much pressure. I don’t even have kids, so what do I know?

    At Mary’s church, she tells one of the members of the congregation to lose weight. She is definitely the boss in this place. She runs the choir practice, and the whole group is a little rusty. Mary is not happy, and when Mary isn’t happy, nobody is.

    Coach Shah surprises Jen with a salsa dancing lesson. I feel like these people would never do these kinds of dates if they were not being filmed. I can barely get my husband to take me out of the house. Salsa dancing would be a solid “no.”

    At Heather’s grand opening, the space is finally ready and Heather is thrilled that she pulled it off. Even her ex-husband is there to support her, which is nice. He is super supportive, and they seem to have a good vibe. Heather is proud to show him everything she has accomplished on her own. She admits that she wants his stamp of approval.

    Everyone arrives and Meredith comes without pants but with a scary, sparkly mask that covers her whole face. It’s weird. She says it is to ward off any bad energy coming her way. I wonder how she can see? Someone tells her she should wear the mask all the time, and I am not quite sure that is a compliment. 

    Everyone is mingling and drinking for a while. Meredith’s mask really is more ridiculous the more I look at it. Lisa tells her about meeting up with Jen, and Meredith is surprised she would do this after Vegas. Oh, thank God. Meredith takes the dumb mask off. Lisa says she is at peace with Jen, and Meredith thinks Lisa is being disloyal to her, since Jen tried to harm Meredith’s family by starting cheating rumors about Meredith and Seth. 

    Whitney and Mary do some kind of oxygen water infusion thingie that looks really weird. I thought this was a Botox party? Whitney says she was taken aback by Jen’s attack in Vegas. Mary sympathizes with her and says she warned the women that Jen is a problem.

    Christ. Meredith’s mask is back on and she is trying to drink through a straw. Why?

    And cue—Jen arrives.

    The women look uncomfortable as Jen comes in. Whitney is the first to greet her and says she wants to follow up from Vegas. Whitney says she doesn’t want toxic people in her life, and Jen decides not to react and to go high, a la Michelle Obama.

    Jen apologizes for the way she “communicates,” but says she can’t compromise when it comes to something affecting her marriage or her kids. Whitney thanks her for the apology.

    Jen tells us she has no idea what she is apologizing for and would rather be eating cookies. Lol.

    A maskless Meredith is talking about toxicity when Jen walks up to apologize to her. Meredith says Jen crossed a line and that their relationship may be impacted forever. She needs action, not words.

    Jen is shocked that Meredith won’t accept her apology and wonders if Meredith’s recent separation has made her cuckoo. This is coming from the chick who hits people and throws glasses on the reg, but whatever.

    Heather comes over, and surprise! She wants to talk about Vegas.

    She tells Jen she is pissed that Jen said she doesn’t trust her, and doesn’t know if she can recover from it. Jen feels that Heather did not support her in Vegas. Heather reminds Jen that she pushed her, and we see a scene of it happening. She definitely did.

    The other women are uncomfortable watching their exchange. Lisa wonders if they will need to call security. They all converge on Jen and Heather, and Jen says she feels like she has already apologized to Heather, but Heather wants her to own that she does not show up for her.

    Jen finally admits she has not been a good friend to Heather, and Heather says that their friendship is unbalanced. They argue over who shit all over whom.

    Jen apologizes to everyone and says she knows she has to change. We all know that won’t happen.

    Whitney asks what she is sorry for, and Jen says she doesn’t even know. Lisa says they should agree to disagree and let it go for the sake of the party. Heather pushes Jen to again say she has not been a good friend.

    Then, they share some lip gloss. This was pre-COVID. I can’t imagine doing that shit now. Cooties.

  • Season 7 is almost here, and we have a few demands. We want the fights, the absurdity, the bad decisions, the fabulous outfits, and absolutely no shortage of women behaving like they have never met each other before. Here are the five things we most want to see this season.

    1. Lisa Barlow Completely Lose Her Shit

    We need Lisa at maximum Lisa. We want the dramatic accusations, the offended Lisa, the indignant Lisa, the Lisa who is absolutely certain she has been wronged and will now explain it to everyone within a five-mile radius.

    We don’t want a subdued Lisa. We want the woman who can turn a minor disagreement into a full-scale diplomatic crisis.

    2. Mary Cosby Say Something Completely Insane

    Mary is one of the few Housewives who can say one sentence and make you stop the television to process what you just heard.

    We want bizarre observations. We want brutally blunt commentary. We want Mary sitting at a dinner table looking mildly disgusted while everyone else is having a meltdown.

    Basically, we want Mary to remain Mary.

    3. A Truly Great Meredith Marks Meltdown

    Meredith has given us some spectacular moments over the years, and Season 7 needs at least one enormous Meredith event.

    We want the increasingly serious voice. We want the accusations. We want Meredith threatening to disengage while somehow becoming even more engaged.

    And naturally, we want at least one situation where absolutely nobody is quite sure what the original argument was about anymore.

    4. An Old-School RHOSLC Dinner From Hell

    Put these women around one table, give them alcohol, unresolved grudges and absolutely nowhere to go.

    That’s it. That’s the episode.

    We want people talking over each other, someone storming away, someone refusing to apologize, someone bringing up something that happened six months earlier and at least one person saying, “That’s not what happened.”

    RHOSLC is at its best when a perfectly normal dinner turns into complete fucking chaos.

    5. Give Us Something We Never Saw Coming

    This is the big one.

    We want Season 7 to surprise us. Lisa has already teased that the season will feel very different and give viewers a more intimate look at the women, so we’re hoping Bravo actually lets the cast show us something we haven’t seen before.

    Give us a friendship we didn’t expect. A feud that comes out of nowhere. A completely bizarre storyline that somehow becomes the centerpiece of the season.

    Give us something so gloriously unhinged that we have to sit there afterward and say:

    What the hell did I just watch?

    That’s when RHOSLC is at its best.