Categories and Recaps Below! Choose a Category to Begin the Dig!

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Real Housewives Ultimate Girls’ Trip

The Real Housewives of New York

The Real Housewives of Orange County

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City

Jurassic Snark: A Place to Excavate The Real Housewives

Real Housewives Recaps, Reviews & Episode Summaries

Recent Posts

  • RHOC, Season 20, Episode 17–Reach for the SKYtops!

    RHOC: Reach for the SKYtops

    Twenty years of The Real Housewives of Orange County. Twenty years of orange tans, questionable marriages, screaming matches, wine glasses, and women declaring that they are DONE with each other before sitting down to dinner together the following week. And how does Vicki Gunvalson choose to celebrate this historic achievement? By bringing back the SKYTOPS, naturally. Because nothing says personal growth like revisiting a fashion trend that should have stayed buried somewhere between low-rise jeans and frosted lip gloss.

    But before we get to the anniversary party, we have a few loose ends to tie up. And, as usual, the women of Orange County have managed to make even the quietest moments complicated.

    Shannon is facing an incredibly difficult decision about Archie and his declining health. She consults a pet psychic with her daughters, hoping for some reassurance about whether to pursue radiation treatment. The psychic’s message helps the family feel that Archie is loved and that whatever decision they make, they are doing it with his best interests at heart.

    It’s a surprisingly tender storyline, especially for a show that has spent twenty seasons documenting women screaming at each other over dinner reservations. Shannon’s relationship with Archie is clearly important to her, and watching her try to make the right decision for him gives us a glimpse of a more vulnerable side of her life. The decision isn’t really about whether a psychic can tell her what to do. It’s about a family trying to find some peace with a choice that has no easy answer. And honestly, Archie deserves all the love in the world. He’s been a better companion to Shannon than most of the men she’s dated.

    Jenn is also dealing with some difficult family stuff, as her son Dominic continues to struggle at school. The co-parenting situation with her ex-husband isn’t exactly making things easier, and Ryan suggests therapy as a way to help Dominic work through what is happening.

    It’s worth considering how much Jenn has had to navigate while trying to establish a new life for herself. Her relationship with Ryan, her children, her business, and her friendships all require attention, and she seems to be trying to keep everything moving at once. The question is whether she and her ex can put aside their differences long enough to focus on what Dominic needs. Ryan’s suggestion is a reasonable one, and Jenn might benefit from having someone outside the family help her sort through the situation. For once, a man on this show is suggesting something useful. Let’s mark the occasion.

    Meanwhile, Heather and Emily take Shannon out for a bar crawl in search of a man. And what better place to find true love than a dive bar? Forget the dating apps and expensive restaurants. Apparently, the path to romance involves a drink, questionable lighting, and a woman named Shannon Beador hoping someone will ask for her number.

    The outing is a welcome change of pace. Shannon gets some attention, the women have a little fun, and she actually manages to get a phone number. After all the emotional upheaval of the season, it’s nice to see her enjoying herself without every conversation turning into a referendum on her relationships. Whether this particular gentleman becomes anything more than a phone contact remains to be seen, but at least Shannon got out of the house and had a night that wasn’t entirely about her problems. Baby steps, Beador. Baby steps.

    Heather’s storyline with her mother is quieter, but arguably one of the more meaningful parts of the finale. As she continues to work through their relationship, Heather seems to be reaching a place of acceptance. That doesn’t necessarily mean everything is resolved or that the relationship has suddenly become what she wanted it to be. It means she is beginning to accept what it actually is.

    There is something particularly difficult about coming to terms with a parent who cannot give you the relationship you hoped for. Heather is accustomed to having control over her surroundings, her image, and the way people perceive her. This is one situation where money, influence, and a perfectly designed house cannot make everything right. She has to accept the limits of another person, and that’s a much more complicated renovation project than anything she’s done with Terry. Fancy Pants can’t remodel this one.

    And now, the main event. Vicki is hosting a twenty-year anniversary party in Coto de Caza, the very place where this whole ridiculous enterprise began. Gina helps her with the planning, and Vicki makes one thing abundantly clear: if you’re attending, you are wearing a SKYTOP.

    We are apparently going to celebrate two decades of television history by dressing like we’re headed to a 2004 nightclub. The look is back, and the women are committing to it. Some fashion trends deserve a second chance. Others deserve to be left in the archives, but I appreciate the dedication to the theme. I do have to wonder whether anyone checked the closet before sending out the invitation. Somewhere, a rhinestone halter top is being pulled out of storage and whispering, “My time has come.”

    The party brings back several familiar faces, including Jeana Keough, Jo De La Rosa, Peggy Tanous, Lizzie Rovsek, Lynne Curtin, and Elizabeth Lyn Vargas. There are flashbacks, reminiscing, and conversations about what the show meant to the women who helped build it. Lynne reflects on how the show gave her a platform for her jewelry business, while Vicki gets to celebrate the franchise that made her a household name.

    For Vicki, this is clearly more than a party. The show has been part of her life for twenty years, and she wants everyone to recognize that history. She has been there from the beginning, and she has no intention of letting anyone forget it. And really, why should she? The woman has given us family vans, casseroles, Brooks, the Tres Amigas, and enough shrieking to keep the Bravo sound department employed for decades.

    Of course, no Vicki Gunvalson celebration would be complete without a little conflict. Carmella was not invited, largely because Vicki has taken issue with her comments about expiration dates and her general involvement in the group. But Tamra and Jenn encourage Carmella to show up and confront Vicki directly.

    And show up she does.

    Vicki is visibly less than thrilled to see her, greeting her with considerably less enthusiasm than she has shown some of the returning Housewives. Emily questions what Vicki’s actual problem with Carmella is, while Teddi points out that Vicki’s insistence that she doesn’t care might suggest that she cares quite a bit.

    Eventually, Carmella and Vicki have their confrontation, with Heather and Tamra stepping in. Carmella makes it clear that she isn’t interested in getting to know Vicki, and the two ultimately agree to disagree.

    The entire situation raises the question of why Carmella’s presence bothers Vicki so much. Vicki has spent years being the center of attention on this show, and Carmella’s arrival has disrupted some of the familiar relationships and alliances. Perhaps the issue isn’t really about whether Carmella is Vicki’s kind of person. It’s about whether Vicki is comfortable with someone new entering the group and not automatically deferring to her.

    Either way, Carmella managed to get herself into the anniversary party, which is more than Vicki wanted. Mission accomplished. Nothing says celebrating twenty years of friendship like inviting someone you don’t like and then being shocked when she actually shows up.

    Jenn is still riding high from her renewed friendship with Tamra in Tokyo, but she’s beginning to wonder whether the closeness is genuine. She asks Tamra about the friendship, and Tamra isn’t particularly pleased with the question, interpreting it as Jenn stirring things up. She tells Jenn she loves her, but the question remains.

    And honestly, it’s a fair question. Tamra has a history of intense friendships that can shift just as quickly as the alliances at a Housewives reunion. One minute you’re her person, the next you’re being discussed in a group text you didn’t know existed. Jenn has experienced enough of the ups and downs to wonder whether this friendship is built to last.

    Tamra may genuinely care about Jenn, but Jenn is also entitled to wonder whether the friendship will survive the next disagreement. Saying you love someone is nice. Consistently treating them like a friend is the harder part. And with Tamra, I would probably want that in writing.

    Finally, Gina pulls Heather aside to revisit the financial tension that began in Tokyo. Gina is still bothered by the women’s questions about her spending and Heather’s comments about her finances. She challenges Heather’s sensitivity about certain subjects while suggesting that Heather doesn’t understand what it is like to have to support herself.

    It’s an interesting confrontation because the disagreement isn’t really about a shopping trip. It’s about the difference between having financial security and having to build it yourself. Gina has worked hard to establish her career and support her family, and she doesn’t appreciate feeling as though Heather is evaluating her choices from a position of privilege.

    Heather explains that Tamra started the conversation in Tokyo, but that doesn’t entirely resolve Gina’s frustration. The underlying issue is that Gina wants Heather to recognize that her financial circumstances and responsibilities are different. Heather may not have intended to judge her, but intent doesn’t necessarily erase the impact of the comments.

    They eventually agree that they’re good, although the conversation doesn’t exactly feel like a breakthrough. These two have been circling around questions of loyalty, respect, and friendship for a while now, and the financial disagreement has become another way of expressing those larger frustrations. I suspect we haven’t heard the last of this one. In Orange County, a conversation is rarely finished just because everyone has agreed to stop having it.

    The anniversary party is a reminder of how much this franchise has changed, and how much of it has stayed exactly the same. The returning Housewives bring nostalgia, the SKYTOPS bring questionable fashion choices, and Vicki gets the celebration she clearly wanted.

    But the finale also has a somewhat bittersweet quality. The show has been part of these women’s lives for decades, and the party brings back people whose stories have continued long after their time on the series ended. Lynne Curtin’s departure is a particularly fitting closing image: a reminder that the Housewives universe keeps moving, even when some of its most recognizable faces are no longer part of the regular cast.

    Twenty years is a long time to spend watching women navigate friendships, marriages, money, family, and the occasional casserole-related catastrophe. The show has given us genuine emotional moments, spectacularly bad decisions, and enough petty arguments to fill several lifetimes.

    And Vicki is still here, wearing her SKYTOP and celebrating like the OG she is.

    Here’s to twenty years of the OC. May the next twenty bring us more honest conversations, fewer recycled arguments, and a fashion revival that doesn’t require us to revisit every trend from 2006.

  • RHOSLC, Season 7, Episode 7–Star Signs and Struggles

    This episode of Lisa Barlow’s Lips Are Scary starts with Heather and her boyfriend, Tripp, heading to her Jupiter Year party. She plans to introduce him to all of the women there, which is a decidedly risky move. They have been dating about six months and are in love, so Heather feels like it is the right time for him to meet everyone. Let’s see.

    The party set up looks cool, and Heather is SO skinny. Good for her. I love me some Mounjaro.

    On the way to the party, Bronwyn asks her boyfriend, Brandon, if he is nervous, but he seems pretty well broken in after the San Francisco fiasco, so there is that.

    He even tells Bronwyn that he kind of vibed to Meredith’s and Lisa’s “Hypocrisy and Bullshit.” I kind of love this detail. Seth makes an appearance, and Meredith is dramatically happy he will be there, considering all of the women have defamed him for years. Angie and Mary head to the party together, and Mary does not do costumes, so she went for fashion instead. Whitney goes all out with the zodiac theme and comes dressed as the Libra scale. It’s cute.

    As the party gets underway, Heather tells Whitney that Angie is worked up about Whitney calling Andie “messy,” when Whitney is the messiest one of them all. I think they are all messy, but that’s just me.

    Then, Heather gets messy and tells Whitney that Lisa has been talking shit and says Whitney uses her personal life as an excuse to behave badly. Whitney finds this disgusting, but I actually think Lisa may have a point. These women all use what they go through to excuse themselves–except for Mary, and she has been through the biggest personal tragedy of them all.

    Whitney drops the bomb that John Barlow has told Justin, Whitney’s husband, that he and Lisa are broke and miserable together. Well, this party is gonna go just great. No one has even really arrived yet, and major shots are being fired.

    As the women arrive, Heather starts introducing Tripp around. Whitney fills Bronwyn in on what Lisa is saying. She says the gloves are off, and it feels like it. When Angie gets there, Whitney is very chilly to her, and Mary thinks that Whitney always looks cheap. She isn’t wrong.

    Britani arrives and Mary rolls her eyes. So do I. Lisa comes in and Whitney is shooting daggers at her right away. She doesn’t even greet Lisa. Mary tells Seth about Britani taking her flowers and I am reminded once again how tacky Britani and her high body count hair are. Britani claims she regifted the flowers to a nursing home. Mary is super insulted and the other women agree.

    Britani approaches Seth and says she is glad to see him–Lisa says she is not sure that feeling is mutual, since Britani has been slandering him. It’s awkward, and Seth calls Britani out for talking shit. He then bails on the whole event and says he can’t take much more. Meredith tells Britani not to speak to her or her husband again unless she has an apology for them.

    Something is very wrong with Britani’s lips? What are she and Lisa doing to their faces? It’s no bueno. Britani keeps trying to speak to Meredith, and Meredith is determined to pretend they don’t exist. Lisa and Meredith walk away from Britani to get a zodiac reading together. The reader starts by clearing their energy, and that seems like a solid choice.

    Angie heads over to Bronwyn and tells her to brace herself. She fills Bronwyn in on what everyone has been saying, especially Britani looking into the sale of Bronwyn’s house. Britani spreads a lot of shit around, and I don’t know how she has the nerve to show up to these events. Everyone hates her. Bronwyn is mostly unbothered, as she does not find Britani a formidable opponent. Who would? Next, Angie tells Bronwyn that Lisa said Brandon is just a publicity stunt. Bronwyn laughs it off.

    Whitney comes over and since she is pissed, too, this is great. Britani comes over and it is so bad. The women, especially Bronwyn, just glare, and even Britani, who is certainly not the sharpest tool in the shed, realizes she has just walked into something.

    Meanwhile, she has gum in her fake hair. I can’t with this girl. She is just nasty and uninteresting. Angie asks Britani why she is always pulling up people’s house information and being a nasty snoop. Bronwyn jumps in and calls Britani out on her bullshit and how she is always trying to cause problems. She goes off on Britani and Britani puts her finger in her face. Bronwyn tells her to get her stank ass breath away from her face. I guess she doesn’t have any mints in her hair. That sucks.

    Quai, whom I forgot existed, tells Britani that she is creepy, and Britani tells Quai she knows a lot about her, too. Britani really is creepy. I wish she would get off the show. Quai says she doesn’t care because Britani is an attention whore, and so Britani calls her a flat out whore. Geezus. Britani needs to go get some new hair and leave these women alone.

    Everyone walks away from Britani, except Angie, who tries to tell her to stop what she is doing, including stealing Mary’s flowers. Angie questions whether Britani’s visits to nursing homes are in the hopes of getting into some wills. Britani tries to cry, but she can’t. Her face won’t move, and there are no tears. Just pitiful noises.

    Heather gets up to give a speech and Angie tries to clean Britani up. Good luck with that mess. Britani and Angie talk through the whole speech, and now I dislike them both. Mary just wants to know where the food is. She also wonders what the hell is going on with Britani’s hair.

    Whitney, who looks ready for battle, goes up to Lisa and tells her to get her phone ready, because she is going to want to call John. Uh oh. Here we go. Whitney then grabs Angie and asks if she is really mad that Whitney called her messy. Angie says it’s mostly ironic. Whitney is way pissed, and calls Angie out for all the pot stirring she is doing. Angie says Whitney is the messiest of them all, and they argue about whether it is messier to have called Lisa a “cunt” or to have said that her lips look like a vagina. This is a legitimately tough call.

    Angie and Whitney both go over to Lisa and Whitney comes out swinging. Lisa questions her marriage and brings up the “cunt” comment. Meredith, in her best lady of the manor voice, stage whispers to Lisa that Whitney is in no position to judge. Whitney tells her to fuck off and I laugh. Whitney reminds Lisa that their husbands talk to each other, presumably about their marriages, and Lisa is VERY fast to say the conversation is over and she is done.

    Mary questions Whitney and Whitney says she is pissed because Heather and Angie are being two faced. Mary, who has been watching Angie closely all night, agrees. Heather says she is not two faced, but she definitely isn’t backing Whitney up, either.

    Britani goes over and grabs Mary’s arm, like literally, to ask if they can speak for a moment. No, Ma’am. Mary says no way Jose. She tells Britani to stay out of her space and that she does not want Britani around her. Good for her!

    Britani tries to explain herself and says she doesn’t steal. Mary reminds her that she steals bread. Britani says she does that for the homeless. She is like Robin Hood. Mary says that if Britani steals one more thing from one of her events, they are going to have a real problem. It sounds like they already do, and I am here for it. Mary is going to put this girl in her rachety place.

    Britani then goes into how she sent Mary flowers twice after her son died, and never got a thank you. Geezus. Maybe Mary was busy mourning her son? Even Bronwyn, who can’t stand Britani (no one can), tries to help her by telling her to zip it before she buries herself even further. Mary walks off in disgust.

    Bronwyn goes after her and Mary says that when she told Britani she was still mourning her son, Britani said “that’s not a thing.” I caught this in the moment, but didn’t realize that was what she meant. Now, I hope she gets even more gum in her hair. She is vile.

  • The Golden Life, Season 1, Episode 2

    It’s time for Episode 2 of The Golden Life and we pick up with Sonja all over Luann’s boyfriend, Michael. Luann is Countess-Level mad, and says her boyfriend is not a toy, and blames him for allowing it. She bellows that she is going home. The next day, we see Luann and Sonja breaking it down, and Luann says while she was mad at Michael, Sonja was the one in the wrong. They meet Ramona for lunch and Ramona is her usual, rude self.

    At lunch, Ramona addresses the fight over Luann’s staff attending the last party. Ramona doubles down on excluding them, and Dorinda tries to mediate. They all agree that Ramona’s delivery sucked, as always. They go on to discuss Sonja. The Michael situation comes up, and they all agree Sonja goes off the rails. Yuck. Dorinda is chewing and I can’t imagine how after years of watching herself, she has not learned how to eat with her mouth closed. I can’t.

    They say that while Sonja may not be drinking, something is definitely up with her behavior. This really does feel like old RHONY days. Sonja drinking/not drinking, and her behavior, have been a hot topic for years. Another yacht party is coming up, and they hope Sonja is in a good mood for it.

    We cut to Kelly’s, and she has a date with a guy named Nick. Kelly is excited and shrieks. It drives me crazy. She is taking him horseback riding, which sounds nice. My husband is allergic to horses, or so he claims–so I haven’t been in years.

    Kelly says she has never been in love; not even with her ex husband. At the stables, she meets up with Nick and she actually does seem kind of nervous. She does her shrieking thing again. It’s so not attractive. They bring the horse trainer along for the ride, literally, and Kelly seems like she is kind of into him, too. She and her date finally have some time alone, and Kelly feels like she’d like to see both of the men again. She is definitely getting her mojo back.

    Luann plays pickle ball with her boyfriend, and gives him a hard time about dancing with Sonja while Sonja was groping him. They bicker a little bit, but it’s clear that Luann mostly blames Sonja for the incident. She wants an apology. Good luck with that.

    Kelly goes to lunch with Sonja and all these women do is eat lunch and have yacht parties. It must not suck. Ramona and her daughter, Avery, show up and Sonja is annoyed that Ramona found “her” restaurant. This is very New York of her, I must say. Anyhow, the two groups go their separate ways for lunch and Sonja is yapping her face off. Avery asks Ramona about the women. Ramona says they are considering an intervention for Sonja because she has been so rude to Luann and Dorinda. How many Sonja interventions can these women do?

    Ramona goes on and on about the lifestyle in Palm Beach and how great her relationship with Avery is. Kelly and Sonja discuss the latest upcoming yacht party, and Sonja does not want to go. They talk about how bossy Ramona is. This, also, is nothing new. Sonja rambles about how she doesn’t have any money and reveals that one of her latest guys did not even buy her a Valentines Day gift. They have been dating two months and Sonja doesn’t feel like a priority. In all candor, this is boring. I don’t give a shit about women in their 60’s dating. I want to see the women fight, old school style.

    Next, we see the women get ready for their next gathering. I guess Sonja is going on the yacht, after all. Get that paycheck, Girl. On the yacht, Kelly sees a man, literally playing a guitar–with sound coming out of it, and asks him if he is playing guitar. What is up with this woman?

    They gossip a little about Sonja and her endless stream of interns. Sonja proudly announces that she hasn’t washed her hair in a week and I wonder how she is even getting a brush through it? Dorinda is super warm to Sonja, and Ramona shares with the other women that she does not want to be part of the Sonja Intervention. Dorinda, who was just complimenting Sonja, is all for the intervention happening.

    They all gather around and Luann immediately tells Sonja she was upset about her dancing with Michael, and shows her a video of how inappropriate it was. Sonja says she was just being herself, and that Luann has seen it a million times before. Sonja nonchalantly says she didn’t think Luann would even care, and that Michael must know Luann cheats. Aaand, shots fired on the yacht! THIS is what I came to see.

    The women are stunned, but Sonja insists that Luann always goes with other women’s guys, and even married Tom, Sonja’s former lover. Once again, it’s about Tom. But, honestly, this is getting good. They argue whether Tom is good in bed, and we get some background on the whole tangled history.

    Sonja says that Tom only married Luann because he was ready to marry anyone. It’s low and nasty, but again, that’s why I am here. Sonja insists he even proposed to her, too. Luann has had enough, and storms off.

    Sonja goes on to again say Luann goes after everyone’s guys. Luann is beyond insulted. Sonja is pissed that Tom told Luann that Sonja was just a one night stand and says that he was her guy. Dorinda goes after Luann and they agree Sonja is awful. This has been their tune so far this season, for sure. They go to a sound bath while Ramona fills Avery in on what they are all fighting about. Everyone talks over each other, and Sonja keeps harping on Luann’s reputation. Avery also has some comments to make on Luann, and I find that off putting for some reason

    Avery gives Sonja advice on how to approach Luann, and they head off the yacht to dinner together. Sonja tries to act like nothing happened. Luann is still clearly miffed. Sonja makes a big thing out of ordering a mocktail and Luann belts out, “Sonja, why don’t you just order a glass of wine like you do when you go out with all of your other friends?” Oh, shit. The Countess has left the station.

    Dorinda looks delighted, and Sonja denies drinking since July. She wants to know why Luann is coming at her. Luann thinks Sonja is hiding her drinking from the women. Dorinda says she doesn’t know if Sonja is drinking, but something isn’t right. The other women seem to agree, except Ramona who thinks it’s best to leave Sonja alone. Luann says that Sonja hurts her all the time, and Sonja dismisses it.

    Sonja says she can’t control herself sometimes. She gives Luann a crappy apology, and Luann says she hopes they can get to a better place. Kelly and Luann start whispering about Sonja and Sonja tells Kelly not to talk about her boyfriend and to shut the fuck up. Sonja is way pissed, and says she spoke about the man she was dating in confidence, and not for Kelly to share it with Luann. Kelly is appalled by the way Sonja is speaking to her.

    Sonja is screaming and going on one of her hamster wheels. She calls Kelly an ass kisser. Sonja says she is leaving to get a mocktail from the bar, and that in the mean time, Kelly can shut the fuck up.

    Ramona goes after Sonja to try and calm her down. Sonja is still ranting and raving, and Luann brings her purse to her. Luann tries to speak to Sonja calmly, and it becomes about Tom. Enough with this guy, already. Luann wants her friendship with Sonja back, and they hug it out. Sonja is still furious with Kelly, though. She expected more loyalty. I am not quite clear on what Kelly did that was so wrong, but I never liked Kelly, so I guess I am on Sonja’s side by default.

  • RHONY, Season 16, Episode 8–Havana Fights

    On this episode of Release the Epstein Files Already, the women wrap up their Moskito Madness trip and head back to the big apple. We start at Erin’s townhouse, where she is planning a party for her husband, Abe’s, birthday party. It has a Havana Nights theme, and I kind of love that. I would love to go to Havana. Over at Jessel’s, her husband is around for a change. Pavit asks Jessel about the trip, and she says that the island was gorgeous. She says she had a great time, but mentions that Sai says Erin has been talking a lot of shit about everyone, including Pavit. He looks taken aback. Jessel comes right out and says there is a rumor that he is gay, and he seems nonplussed. He says he only projects “straightness,” and I don’t know what the hell that means.

    Pavit and Jessel agree that Erin has a history of spreading rumors like wildfire. Then Pavit says Erin looks 50, and that is so mean. I am pushing 50, so I know. Sai has Daisy over to her place and they also break down the Moskito trip over some awesome looking sushi. And now I want a Havana Nights Sushi Party. Make it happen.

    Sai says that as soon as she returned from the trip, a man approached her as she was getting out of the car and served her with divorce papers. She is still in disbelief, and her knee is still jacked from Tipsy Tennis. Sai tells Daisy that she and Erin spoke and that Erin is blaming her makeup artist for all the rumors that are leaking from the group, including about Sai’s divorce. Sai still thinks Erin is wrong, and that she takes no accountability, but they hugged it out. Sai is still cautious.

    They move on to questioning Hailey’s job and how she has so much money, which we more than covered in last week’s recap. Sai tells Daisy that she complained the whole trip and it’s the truth. Daisy was intolerable on the island, and Erika handled it well.Still, Daisy sent Erika a “Thank You” orchid, which leaves Erika confused. Sai says Daisy has always been a complainer, and disguises it as joking. I hate people like that.

    In Sag Harbor, Erin and Abe visit their home, which has recently been flooded. The places has been mostly gutted for mold and water damage. Erin is overwhelmed. They find out the repairs will be between 2-3 million and are absolutely shook. Erin says they may have to take out a loan. Even after news like this, Erin is still worried about what happened on the trip, and tells Abe that Sai is scapegoating her. They say everyone already knew the rumor that Pavit was gay, but I don’t see how that excuses Erin from repeating it.

    Daisy visits Carole, who still has a dog named “Baby.” I wonder if this is a new dog or if Writer Girl is just not creative when it comes to names. Or much of anything else. Daisy is impressed by Carole’s downtown apartment, and Carole’s lineage by marriage. Many people are. I am not. They discuss Erin’s upcoming party and rehash the trip. Daisy says the trip was not worth the time it took to get there, and criticizes Erika for not flying them private. Daisy sucks. Carole says the whole group dynamic is off, and that is kind of the point of the show. Carole questions Sai’s motives and how she interacts with the other women, but Daisy insists that Sai has a soft side. This, I have never seen.

    In the next breath, Daisy is criticizing Sai and the “supermarket sushi” Sai served her. I am not quite sure I could dislike Daisy more. Carole laughs. I don’t. Daisy says that Sai has layers, and Carole says she does not like onions. She likes apples. She seems to think this is brilliant and makes sense. She is a writer, remember.

    At Hailey’s, Carole visits and Hailey is in bed in a sleep mask. She is sick. I feel like Carole is the last person I would want to see if I were sick, but whatevs. Hailey gets paid to film with her, so that’s different. They also go over the island trip, and Carole admits they all put Hailey on the spot about her money. She has Daddy Money and Husband Money. There is no mystery to solve. Stop it.

    They break down Hailey’s unconventional marriage, and Hailey says it is just their normal. I would say that is enough said, but Carole keeps pushing. Hailey admits their arrangement isn’t perfect, but again says it works for them. She does, however, prefer women to her husband, so there is that. Carole randomly asks Hailey if she videotapes herself having sex and I have to remind myself that this women used to be a reporter. A real one.

    Erin’s party set up gets well under way, and everything looks great. Her whole town home has been transformed, and the food seems amazing. If the Housewives weren’t going to be there, I would totally go to this party. Maybe I should make some friends and host one.

    Daisy arrives and I am just waiting for the complaints to start. Erika thanks her for the “Apology” plant, and Daisy is confused. I laugh, because I hope Erika did this on purpose–as she was owed an apology for sure. Daisy says she was just trying to be courteous, and Erika doubles down. I enjoy it. Daisy says, to Erika’s actual face, that Erika owes all of the women an apology for not flying them private. I absolutely hate this woman.

    Daisy has Martha Stewart tastes on a popcorn ceiling budget. She needs to get over herself. As the other women arrive, Erin tells Carole that Hailey is still too sick to come. Daisy gets obsessed with Carole’s ugly leather coat, and it turns out that Daisy had tried to buy it, and Carole got to it online first. It’s a funny coincidence, but I don’t like either of them so I don’t care that much.

    Eugene, Daisy’s husband, is really nice to Erika and I wonder how he can stand being married to Daisy. He seems genuinely nice. Sai asks Erika and Daisy if they have made up, and the damn plant comes up again. Erika says the plant had a moth in it, and that sounds about right.

    One of Erin’s friends, Devyn, arrives, and I guess she is a “friend” this season, because she gets a caption and an intro. Erin introduces her around.

    Sai confronts Daisy about her “supermarket sushi” comments, and I am so happy. Someone PLEASE put Daisy in her place. Sai tells Eugene that his wife is awfully judgmental for a popcorn ceiling princess. They immediately start arguing about who serves the smelliest fish, and I am finally entertained by this episode. This is the kind of absurdity I like to see on these shows.

    Carole talks a little shit about Jessel and how she is always late. She also tells Devyn that she and Sai had a bumpy start, and Devyn agrees that she had the same experience with Sai. Carole likes Devyn because of their shared dislike for Sai’s first impression. Sai tells Erika and Daisy that her and Devyn’s first interaction was awkward, and Erika says Devyn’s version is that Sai was talking shit about Devyn and her Instagram. Sai denies this.

    Jessel finally arrives, two hours late. This is definitely not my kind of girl. I would have locked the front door if I were Erin. You snooze, you lose. Jessel wants everyone to see that she is unbothered by the Pavit rumors. Abe and Erin get into it about putting their kids to bed and I cringe. I absolutely hate fighting with my spouse in front of people. So awkward.

    Daisy asks the group who told Sai about what she said about the sushi, and Carole, wearing a really stupid hat, says she told Hailey. Sai realizes that Carole has been avoiding her, and questions it, as she thought they were good. Jessel brings Devyn over to Sai and Sai questions Devyn’s version of their first meeting. Is this a super sized episode, or what? My fingers are getting tired. Oh, that sounds dirty. Sorry.

    Sai apologizes for coming off as bitchy. So, it’s resolved pretty quickly, and yet there is even more of this episode, which is endless. Erin kisses Carole’s ass a little bit, and so does Daisy. Jessel corners Sai to say nasty things about Erin’s home, and this is rich considering both of them constantly criticize Erin for talking too much shit.

    Sai calls over to Carole from across the room and Daisy tells her to not be so aggressive. Sai goes off, telling her to “shut the fuck up.” Suddenly, I may like Sai. Someone needed to say it. They start yelling over each other, and Carole bails on the whole situation.

    Daisy and Sai go at it some more, and I am actually on Sai’s side here. Sai storms off to Jessel and Erin and Daisy chases after her. This girl is something else. They argue about whether or not Sai is rough on Carole, and Carole tries to come over and shut it down. She is just too cool for it in her little pork pie hat.

    Daisy is still going on and on about how Sai should treat Carole nicely. Nobody cares. Sai doesn’t give a rat’s cock. Daisy says she doesn’t want people to not like her and I die laughing. She is one of the most unlikable housewives I have ever encountered. No, wait. Diana Jenkins. She was the worst.