On this episode of Release the Epstein Files Already, the women wrap up their Moskito Madness trip and head back to the big apple. We start at Erin’s townhouse, where she is planning a party for her husband, Abe’s, birthday party. It has a Havana Nights theme, and I kind of love that. I would love to go to Havana. Over at Jessel’s, her husband is around for a change. Pavit asks Jessel about the trip, and she says that the island was gorgeous. She says she had a great time, but mentions that Sai says Erin has been talking a lot of shit about everyone, including Pavit. He looks taken aback. Jessel comes right out and says there is a rumor that he is gay, and he seems nonplussed. He says he only projects “straightness,” and I don’t know what the hell that means.
Pavit and Jessel agree that Erin has a history of spreading rumors like wildfire. Then Pavit says Erin looks 50, and that is so mean. I am pushing 50, so I know. Sai has Daisy over to her place and they also break down the Moskito trip over some awesome looking sushi. And now I want a Havana Nights Sushi Party. Make it happen.
Sai says that as soon as she returned from the trip, a man approached her as she was getting out of the car and served her with divorce papers. She is still in disbelief, and her knee is still jacked from Tipsy Tennis. Sai tells Daisy that she and Erin spoke and that Erin is blaming her makeup artist for all the rumors that are leaking from the group, including about Sai’s divorce. Sai still thinks Erin is wrong, and that she takes no accountability, but they hugged it out. Sai is still cautious.
They move on to questioning Hailey’s job and how she has so much money, which we more than covered in last week’s recap. Sai tells Daisy that she complained the whole trip and it’s the truth. Daisy was intolerable on the island, and Erika handled it well.Still, Daisy sent Erika a “Thank You” orchid, which leaves Erika confused. Sai says Daisy has always been a complainer, and disguises it as joking. I hate people like that.
In Sag Harbor, Erin and Abe visit their home, which has recently been flooded. The places has been mostly gutted for mold and water damage. Erin is overwhelmed. They find out the repairs will be between 2-3 million and are absolutely shook. Erin says they may have to take out a loan. Even after news like this, Erin is still worried about what happened on the trip, and tells Abe that Sai is scapegoating her. They say everyone already knew the rumor that Pavit was gay, but I don’t see how that excuses Erin from repeating it.
Daisy visits Carole, who still has a dog named “Baby.” I wonder if this is a new dog or if Writer Girl is just not creative when it comes to names. Or much of anything else. Daisy is impressed by Carole’s downtown apartment, and Carole’s lineage by marriage. Many people are. I am not. They discuss Erin’s upcoming party and rehash the trip. Daisy says the trip was not worth the time it took to get there, and criticizes Erika for not flying them private. Daisy sucks. Carole says the whole group dynamic is off, and that is kind of the point of the show. Carole questions Sai’s motives and how she interacts with the other women, but Daisy insists that Sai has a soft side. This, I have never seen.
In the next breath, Daisy is criticizing Sai and the “supermarket sushi” Sai served her. I am not quite sure I could dislike Daisy more. Carole laughs. I don’t. Daisy says that Sai has layers, and Carole says she does not like onions. She likes apples. She seems to think this is brilliant and makes sense. She is a writer, remember.
At Hailey’s, Carole visits and Hailey is in bed in a sleep mask. She is sick. I feel like Carole is the last person I would want to see if I were sick, but whatevs. Hailey gets paid to film with her, so that’s different. They also go over the island trip, and Carole admits they all put Hailey on the spot about her money. She has Daddy Money and Husband Money. There is no mystery to solve. Stop it.
They break down Hailey’s unconventional marriage, and Hailey says it is just their normal. I would say that is enough said, but Carole keeps pushing. Hailey admits their arrangement isn’t perfect, but again says it works for them. She does, however, prefer women to her husband, so there is that. Carole randomly asks Hailey if she videotapes herself having sex and I have to remind myself that this women used to be a reporter. A real one.
Erin’s party set up gets well under way, and everything looks great. Her whole town home has been transformed, and the food seems amazing. If the Housewives weren’t going to be there, I would totally go to this party. Maybe I should make some friends and host one.
Daisy arrives and I am just waiting for the complaints to start. Erika thanks her for the “Apology” plant, and Daisy is confused. I laugh, because I hope Erika did this on purpose–as she was owed an apology for sure. Daisy says she was just trying to be courteous, and Erika doubles down. I enjoy it. Daisy says, to Erika’s actual face, that Erika owes all of the women an apology for not flying them private. I absolutely hate this woman.
Daisy has Martha Stewart tastes on a popcorn ceiling budget. She needs to get over herself. As the other women arrive, Erin tells Carole that Hailey is still too sick to come. Daisy gets obsessed with Carole’s ugly leather coat, and it turns out that Daisy had tried to buy it, and Carole got to it online first. It’s a funny coincidence, but I don’t like either of them so I don’t care that much.
Eugene, Daisy’s husband, is really nice to Erika and I wonder how he can stand being married to Daisy. He seems genuinely nice. Sai asks Erika and Daisy if they have made up, and the damn plant comes up again. Erika says the plant had a moth in it, and that sounds about right.
One of Erin’s friends, Devyn, arrives, and I guess she is a “friend” this season, because she gets a caption and an intro. Erin introduces her around.
Sai confronts Daisy about her “supermarket sushi” comments, and I am so happy. Someone PLEASE put Daisy in her place. Sai tells Eugene that his wife is awfully judgmental for a popcorn ceiling princess. They immediately start arguing about who serves the smelliest fish, and I am finally entertained by this episode. This is the kind of absurdity I like to see on these shows.
Carole talks a little shit about Jessel and how she is always late. She also tells Devyn that she and Sai had a bumpy start, and Devyn agrees that she had the same experience with Sai. Carole likes Devyn because of their shared dislike for Sai’s first impression. Sai tells Erika and Daisy that her and Devyn’s first interaction was awkward, and Erika says Devyn’s version is that Sai was talking shit about Devyn and her Instagram. Sai denies this.
Jessel finally arrives, two hours late. This is definitely not my kind of girl. I would have locked the front door if I were Erin. You snooze, you lose. Jessel wants everyone to see that she is unbothered by the Pavit rumors. Abe and Erin get into it about putting their kids to bed and I cringe. I absolutely hate fighting with my spouse in front of people. So awkward.
Daisy asks the group who told Sai about what she said about the sushi, and Carole, wearing a really stupid hat, says she told Hailey. Sai realizes that Carole has been avoiding her, and questions it, as she thought they were good. Jessel brings Devyn over to Sai and Sai questions Devyn’s version of their first meeting. Is this a super sized episode, or what? My fingers are getting tired. Oh, that sounds dirty. Sorry.
Sai apologizes for coming off as bitchy. So, it’s resolved pretty quickly, and yet there is even more of this episode, which is endless. Erin kisses Carole’s ass a little bit, and so does Daisy. Jessel corners Sai to say nasty things about Erin’s home, and this is rich considering both of them constantly criticize Erin for talking too much shit.
Sai calls over to Carole from across the room and Daisy tells her to not be so aggressive. Sai goes off, telling her to “shut the fuck up.” Suddenly, I may like Sai. Someone needed to say it. They start yelling over each other, and Carole bails on the whole situation.
Daisy and Sai go at it some more, and I am actually on Sai’s side here. Sai storms off to Jessel and Erin and Daisy chases after her. This girl is something else. They argue about whether or not Sai is rough on Carole, and Carole tries to come over and shut it down. She is just too cool for it in her little pork pie hat.
Daisy is still going on and on about how Sai should treat Carole nicely. Nobody cares. Sai doesn’t give a rat’s cock. Daisy says she doesn’t want people to not like her and I die laughing. She is one of the most unlikable housewives I have ever encountered. No, wait. Diana Jenkins. She was the worst.
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