It’s time for Episode 2 of The Golden Life and we pick up with Sonja all over Luann’s boyfriend, Michael. Luann is Countess-Level mad, and says her boyfriend is not a toy, and blames him for allowing it. She bellows that she is going home. The next day, we see Luann and Sonja breaking it down, and Luann says while she was mad at Michael, Sonja was the one in the wrong. They meet Ramona for lunch and Ramona is her usual, rude self.
At lunch, Ramona addresses the fight over Luann’s staff attending the last party. Ramona doubles down on excluding them, and Dorinda tries to mediate. They all agree that Ramona’s delivery sucked, as always. They go on to discuss Sonja. The Michael situation comes up, and they all agree Sonja goes off the rails. Yuck. Dorinda is chewing and I can’t imagine how after years of watching herself, she has not learned how to eat with her mouth closed. I can’t.
They say that while Sonja may not be drinking, something is definitely up with her behavior. This really does feel like old RHONY days. Sonja drinking/not drinking, and her behavior, have been a hot topic for years. Another yacht party is coming up, and they hope Sonja is in a good mood for it.
We cut to Kelly’s, and she has a date with a guy named Nick. Kelly is excited and shrieks. It drives me crazy. She is taking him horseback riding, which sounds nice. My husband is allergic to horses, or so he claims–so I haven’t been in years.
Kelly says she has never been in love; not even with her ex husband. At the stables, she meets up with Nick and she actually does seem kind of nervous. She does her shrieking thing again. It’s so not attractive. They bring the horse trainer along for the ride, literally, and Kelly seems like she is kind of into him, too. She and her date finally have some time alone, and Kelly feels like she’d like to see both of the men again. She is definitely getting her mojo back.
Luann plays pickle ball with her boyfriend, and gives him a hard time about dancing with Sonja while Sonja was groping him. They bicker a little bit, but it’s clear that Luann mostly blames Sonja for the incident. She wants an apology. Good luck with that.
Kelly goes to lunch with Sonja and all these women do is eat lunch and have yacht parties. It must not suck. Ramona and her daughter, Avery, show up and Sonja is annoyed that Ramona found “her” restaurant. This is very New York of her, I must say. Anyhow, the two groups go their separate ways for lunch and Sonja is yapping her face off. Avery asks Ramona about the women. Ramona says they are considering an intervention for Sonja because she has been so rude to Luann and Dorinda. How many Sonja interventions can these women do?
Ramona goes on and on about the lifestyle in Palm Beach and how great her relationship with Avery is. Kelly and Sonja discuss the latest upcoming yacht party, and Sonja does not want to go. They talk about how bossy Ramona is. This, also, is nothing new. Sonja rambles about how she doesn’t have any money and reveals that one of her latest guys did not even buy her a Valentines Day gift. They have been dating two months and Sonja doesn’t feel like a priority. In all candor, this is boring. I don’t give a shit about women in their 60’s dating. I want to see the women fight, old school style.
Next, we see the women get ready for their next gathering. I guess Sonja is going on the yacht, after all. Get that paycheck, Girl. On the yacht, Kelly sees a man, literally playing a guitar–with sound coming out of it, and asks him if he is playing guitar. What is up with this woman?
They gossip a little about Sonja and her endless stream of interns. Sonja proudly announces that she hasn’t washed her hair in a week and I wonder how she is even getting a brush through it? Dorinda is super warm to Sonja, and Ramona shares with the other women that she does not want to be part of the Sonja Intervention. Dorinda, who was just complimenting Sonja, is all for the intervention happening.
They all gather around and Luann immediately tells Sonja she was upset about her dancing with Michael, and shows her a video of how inappropriate it was. Sonja says she was just being herself, and that Luann has seen it a million times before. Sonja nonchalantly says she didn’t think Luann would even care, and that Michael must know Luann cheats. Aaand, shots fired on the yacht! THIS is what I came to see.
The women are stunned, but Sonja insists that Luann always goes with other women’s guys, and even married Tom, Sonja’s former lover. Once again, it’s about Tom. But, honestly, this is getting good. They argue whether Tom is good in bed, and we get some background on the whole tangled history.
Sonja says that Tom only married Luann because he was ready to marry anyone. It’s low and nasty, but again, that’s why I am here. Sonja insists he even proposed to her, too. Luann has had enough, and storms off.
Sonja goes on to again say Luann goes after everyone’s guys. Luann is beyond insulted. Sonja is pissed that Tom told Luann that Sonja was just a one night stand and says that he was her guy. Dorinda goes after Luann and they agree Sonja is awful. This has been their tune so far this season, for sure. They go to a sound bath while Ramona fills Avery in on what they are all fighting about. Everyone talks over each other, and Sonja keeps harping on Luann’s reputation. Avery also has some comments to make on Luann, and I find that off putting for some reason
Avery gives Sonja advice on how to approach Luann, and they head off the yacht to dinner together. Sonja tries to act like nothing happened. Luann is still clearly miffed. Sonja makes a big thing out of ordering a mocktail and Luann belts out, “Sonja, why don’t you just order a glass of wine like you do when you go out with all of your other friends?” Oh, shit. The Countess has left the station.
Dorinda looks delighted, and Sonja denies drinking since July. She wants to know why Luann is coming at her. Luann thinks Sonja is hiding her drinking from the women. Dorinda says she doesn’t know if Sonja is drinking, but something isn’t right. The other women seem to agree, except Ramona who thinks it’s best to leave Sonja alone. Luann says that Sonja hurts her all the time, and Sonja dismisses it.
Sonja says she can’t control herself sometimes. She gives Luann a crappy apology, and Luann says she hopes they can get to a better place. Kelly and Luann start whispering about Sonja and Sonja tells Kelly not to talk about her boyfriend and to shut the fuck up. Sonja is way pissed, and says she spoke about the man she was dating in confidence, and not for Kelly to share it with Luann. Kelly is appalled by the way Sonja is speaking to her.
Sonja is screaming and going on one of her hamster wheels. She calls Kelly an ass kisser. Sonja says she is leaving to get a mocktail from the bar, and that in the mean time, Kelly can shut the fuck up.
Ramona goes after Sonja to try and calm her down. Sonja is still ranting and raving, and Luann brings her purse to her. Luann tries to speak to Sonja calmly, and it becomes about Tom. Enough with this guy, already. Luann wants her friendship with Sonja back, and they hug it out. Sonja is still furious with Kelly, though. She expected more loyalty. I am not quite clear on what Kelly did that was so wrong, but I never liked Kelly, so I guess I am on Sonja’s side by default.
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