Jurassic Snark: A Place to Excavate The Real Housewives

RHOC, Season 20, Episode 16–Mad Money

October 23, 2026

This week, on “We Brought Vicki Back to Make Her Miserable,” all of the women, minus Carmella, are still in Japan. We start with Shannon going to Vicki’s room to discuss Vicki’s blowup with Tamra. The most recent one. Shannon says it sounds like there was no resolution. We then cut to Gina and Emily breaking down the fight, and agreeing there was no resolution. So there you go.

Shannon calls Archie to check on him and I am so sad for her. I couldn’t imagine being so far away from a sick pet–even for work. They all head to the Sprinter vans and go to do some shopping. Heather doesn’t want to buy any vintage clothes because “vintage” is just a fancy word for “used,” and Fancypants doesn’t play that way.

Emily asks Shannon what went down last night, and Shannon says Tamra was drinking a lot. Emily says Tamra has been telling people that Vicki’s daughter is not speaking to her, and wonders if Vicki knows Tamra is doing this. Gina goes crazy in the shops, and the women comment on how she has elevated her style. I feel like this is a dig.

Tamra and Heather, particularly, chime in on Gina’s spending, which I think is totally tacky. Let her be bougie and enjoy it.

Since no trip is complete without Vicki hurting herself, she topples over in one of the stores and I die. I live for Vicki falling down; it’s one of the constants of the show.

We then cut to Carmella, back in Orange County. There are some scenes of she and her kids, but it’s not interesting, so I spend some time petting my cat instead of paying attention. Sorry. Not sorry.

Back in Japan, the ladies do some more shopping and hit a cool Harajuku store, which is a whole vibe. They try some stuff on and seem to enjoy themselves. Tamra corners Emily to ask about Gina’s new style and spending habits. I don’t see the mystery here. She was a divorced mom who spent years rebuilding, and now she has her own real estate business. Of course she has more money.

Emily defends Gina and I like that. She thinks the women, particularly Heather, are minimizing Gina’s success, and I agree.

Next, at the hotel, Emily tells Gina about what Heather is saying, and how she equated Gina’s real estate career to an acting gig. Gina is pissed; rightfully so.

They all dress up in Harajuku style and it looks pretty silly on them. Vicki and Shannon getting ready together is a whole horror show, and I enjoy it. They all hit the city and walk through the street holding hands and I remember why I hate tourists.

At dinner, Vicki and Shannon look like the twins from “The Shining” and Tamra tries to set Shannon up with Steve Guttenberg, because apparently, Shannon is totally into him. This is so random that I kind of like it.

Heather tells us she has been looking for a buddy in the group and doesn’t feel like she has one. She means she wants an alliance, and no one is willing to play. Gina says the trip has been a downer for her now that she finds out Tamra and Heather were talking shit about her spending. Heather acts like she is coming from concern, but it’s clear she is just judgmental.

Jen brings up Gina’s casita days and Gina gets super offended and says she was NEVER poor. I completely get her point. Poor is a relative term, and downsizing in Coto is not exactly slumming it, by any means.

The women all say they are proud of each other, and Jen admits she aspires to be more successful, like the rest of the women. Emily asks her if she ever ended up working with Carmella, and it turns out that was a bust. Jen clearly has no idea what to do to make money, and the ladies try to advise her.

They each share their favorite moments from the trip and Emily says she feels genuine love for everyone. Aw. A dinner without a fight. Who would’ve thought?

They all head back to Orange County and Gina shows off her purchases. Jen runs a yoga class and Gretchen shows up. Yuck. I thought we were done with her. Jen isn’t all that interesting to me, so I pet my cat some more.

Jen and Shannon visit Carmella and Shannon updates them on Archie. It’s very, very sad. I hug my cat a little. Carmella says she feels horrible for not making the Japan trip, and Jen says she took Carmella’s absence personally, which I don’t get. Carmella says she was simply too sick to go. She cries and I am bored.

We have more scenes of Jen, this time with Ryan, and she tells him that her son, Grayson, has been asking when she and Ryan will get married. This storyline is just not interesting, and it’s gone on forever.

Meanwhile, Gina and Travis are working on a prenup. Good girl.

At Emily’s, she and Shane have some awkward conversation. She admits that she told the women her marriage is not in a great place. Shane asks her if she ever reflects on her own part in that, and it’s a totally valid point. Emily says they have reconnected a bit, and she does not want to give up.

Tamra, Vicki, and Heather meet at this really cool looking Mexican restaurant and the place is making me hungry. They order margaritas, and now I am thirsty, too. Tamra wants to see more of Drunk Heather, so we shall see. Vicki talks about her relationship again, and says she doesn’t care about getting a ring. Bullshit. Tamra asks her if they are okay, and Vicki is very noncommittal. Tamra apologizes for talking about Vicki’s relationship with her daughter.

Vicki denies any problems with Briana. They each apologize to each other. Again. Neither seem very sincere.

Jen, Emily, Gina, and Gina’s daughter do a walk on the beach to pick up trash, which is nice. They gossip a little about Carmella and her lousy relationship. They all agree that Vicki has been hard on Carmella, and that has added to Carmella’s stress. Gina and Emily tease Jen about her new best friendship with Tamra, and say they think Tamra is using it just to irritate Heather. This seems like a good possibility.

Jen admits that she is a bit afraid of Tamra, and the other women tell her to keep her guard up. We then get a flash forward to three days later, and all of the women arguing. Damn. I guess we will have to wait for next week to see what went down.
RHOSLC, Season 7, Episode 5–Boss Up or Shut Up

October 22, 2026

This week, the women of the SLC finally wrap up their San Francisco trip and return home to do some more fighting. Mary is going to be in this episode, and I am looking forward to seeing her. Let’s see if we can get past all the hypocrisy and bullshit first. We start at Angie’s house and yay! Mary is on her way over. She arrives, looking fabulous, and I am impressed. This woman has suffered a devastating loss and still manages to pull it together.

Angie starts to fill Mary in on the San Francisco drama. Angie breaks down Night 1 of the trip, and all of the drama with Quai, and the toothbrushes. The main news is Lisa and Meredith’s diss track. Mary doesn’t understand how the women can behave this way when they agreed to be sisters. Mary is planning to gather the women for a lunch so that she can hear all sides of the stories. Mary’s lunches are always eventful, so I am here for this one.

Next, we see Britani and her daughters, who have previously been estranged because Britani is a nitwit who values dick over her own children. Sorry, not sorry. Britani says that they have come a long way, and I give credit to her kids for this. She is hosting her daughter, Olivia’s birthday party, and Whitney, Bronwyn, and Heather also attend. Bronwyn still finds Britani irritating, but likes that she stood up for her when Meredith and Lisa were bashing her, so there is that, I guess.

Heather asks Bronwyn about the sale of her house and Britani immediately jumps on her with a bunch of tacky, personal questions. Bronwyn says that Todd still has access to her credit card bills and tracks when she travels. He is not happy about the new boyfriend, but Bronwyn has already met the new guy’s parents–so she is serious.

Bronwyn says that her boyfriend, Brandon, was shocked by Meredith and Lisa’s behavior at the San Francisco party. Me, too, honestly. They all question Quai and whether she has been talking shit about them, particularly Meredith. Heather doesn’t think anything that Quai said is that big of a deal, but Whitney thinks she is a liar.

We cut to Mary’s lunch party and I am excited. I hope nobody sings. I hate that shit. Mary is having a Boss Lunch to remind the women they are Boss Ladies and need to stand together. She is prepared to lead the pack, and feels the women fell apart in San Francisco without her. The women arrive and I still can’t with Meredith’s wig. She tries to greet Bronwyn, and Bronwyn is not having it. Good for her. Bronwyn says she is not hurt by Meredith and Lisa, but totally closed off to them.

Angie arrives and she did not follow Mary’s dress code, so she is in trouble. Angie updates Heather on the ups and downs in her marriage. It doesn’t sound good. She says a good day is basically just coexisting. She is trying to keep things normal for her daughter while also figuring out her marriage. Heather says she owes all of her success to her own divorce, and I guess that’s meant to be a pep talk.

They move to the table, and Robert Sr. has sent floral arrangements for each of the women. I love this. I wouldn’t mind seeing more of Robert Sr., but I definitely get why he keeps a low profile.

Whitney jumps right into an apology for her past drunken behavior and says that she is going through a lot. Lisa questions her, but Whitney is not ready to share. Lisa calls bullshit, and Mary says Whitney’s past behavior reflects badly on all of the women. Whitney apologizes, but also says that Meredith and Lisa’s behavior in San Francisco was equally embarrassing to the group. I concur.

Whitney is offended on Bronwyn’s behalf. Lisa dismisses Whitney, and Mary asks to hear everyone’s perspective. Meredith tries to explain that the diss track was not directed only at Bronwyn and Meredith then starts insulting Bronwyn and her past lawsuits. They speak over one another and don’t get anywhere. Meredith and Lisa say they expected Bronwyn to find their performance funny. She clearly did not, and tells them they embarrassed themselves–which is accurate. Meredith apologizes for hurting Bronwyn, and Bronwyn agrees not to mention it again.

Whitney is stunned that Meredith actually apologized. Everyone looks to Lisa, but she has nothing to say. She says she doesn’t feel bad at all, and still doesn’t. She says the song was accurate, and that she won’t give an apology she doesn’t mean. She’d rather right a check. If I were Bronwyn, I would take the check over the apology any day.

Lisa starts singing “Hypocrisy and Bullshit” and it has been stuck in my head for a week so I am super annoyed. Mary cuts her dead and says they are done with this. Lisa says it’s about authenticity, and Mary is not having her crap. Meredith jumps right on Whitney and says she tried to take her down, and that it is malignant and pathetic. Ooh, somebody has word-of-the-day toilet paper. No one has any idea what she is talking about, including Whitney.

Quai says she is the one who told Meredith that Whitney was rallying everyone against her. Sigh. I don’t like new girls. I am getting old and grumpy like Vicki, and Quai is working my last nerve. Why is she wearing that dumb little hat? Anyhow, Quai admits she lied and that she has talked negatively about Meredith, but that she has already apologized and made peace with her, and spilled the beans on all the things Whitney has said. Apparently, she said the group hoped that Quai was coming on the show to edge Meredith out. Whitney says this is total bullshit.

Lisa suspects that Angie, Heather, and Britani are the ones who want Meredith gone, and this is probably a safe bet, but I am sure Whitney does, too. Quai and Whitney argue for a bit about which of them talks more shit. Quai says that Whitney actually recorded her, and Whitney denies it. We see a scene of Angie saying Whitney has cameras all over her house. Doesn’t everyone? I totally do. Whitney admits that she probably said she wants Meredith gone, and that she still does.

Mary pipes up and says she is disappointed in all of the women. They all agreed to be sisters to each other, and after what Mary has suffered, she expected more from the women. She cries and calls out Lisa for not apologizing and tells Whitney to stop being so messy. It’s solid advice. She wants all of the women to do better, but she also clearly wants them to get the hell out of her lunch. They don’t have to go home, but they can’t stay there.

Later, at Meredith’s, Brooks is looking very blond and I don’t get it. What is going on with the hair in the Marks’ family? We cut to Whitney having Quai over to her house. I hope she has her cameras on, oh, nevermind, Bravo is there. Why do these women worry about being recorded when they literally let production film them on the toilet? I dunno. Hypocrisy and bullshit, I guess.

Whitney says she is shocked and heartbroken by how Quai has come into the group. Quai says Whitney is the source of all of the drama. Whitney wants to save their friendship because she values their shared history, and they agree to work on trusting each other more. Good luck.

On a Girls’ night out, Heather, Lisa, Mary, and Angie meet up for dinner. Where are the other women? They all talk about Robert Sr. and how sweet he is, and Mary says that Britani stole her flowers from the lunch party. Britani is a horror show. Mary wants to smack her and I would write a Lisa Barlow check to see that go down.

Angie thinks that Britani brings flowers to nursing homes to try and get in people’s wills. I could see this.

Mary asks Angie how Sean is and there is some awkward silence. Mary pushes a little bit and Angie says it is an interesting question. She hedges around the issue and says they have been busy. Mary can tell something is off, and Angie diverts the attention to Heather’s relationship. Heather is planning a party to introduce him to the group. Brave girl.

Lisa is lining her lips again. What is that about?

Heather says that Britani is on the hunt to get in Bronwyn’s business and expose stuff about the sale of her house. Yuck. Britani is way too involved in other people’s business, and it’s tacky. Heather says she has her own questions about Bronwyn, and Angie agrees. Lisa says everything about Bronwyn is a ruse, and implies that even her boyfriend is a publicity stunt. We leave off with all of the women questioning whether anything about Bronwyn is real.
The Golden Life, Season 1, Episode 1–Golden Years In A Golden Place

October 21, 2026

Okay, peeps. I have been waiting to recap this and truly hope it feels like old RHONY again, but with more sunshine and palm trees, so let’s dive right in and hope for the best!

The women immediately tell us they are older and wiser, the former of which is clear, except for Luann, who seems to be aging backward. They will be spending two months in Palm Beach, which is like a full-time playground vacation for adults. Ramona pretty much has been living there full time for two years, while Dorinda is also contemplating a move. Ramona tells us she is calmer than she used to be, which isn’t saying much.

The episode starts with Luann arriving and telling us she feels freer than ever since RHONY filming ended five years ago. She heads straight to Ramona’s. Interesting. We then cut to Sonja driving around town and telling us how much she has loved her time in Palm Beach, and that she has quit drinking, but is still the straw that stirs the drink.

Kelly does cartwheels on the beach and I sigh. Why is she back? I really thought RHONY was done with her. I know I am.

Dorinda arrives, fresh off the publication of her second book. About what, I wonder? She is debating a move to Palm Beach, or at least saying that she is for the sake of the show. She says she is in a different place from when she was paused (fired) from Bravo.

Luann is the first to arrive at Ramona’s house, and I have to admit, this does feel like old RHONY, and it’s nice. Ramona immediately tells Luann she is dressed wrong for Palm Beach, and then Sonja comes stumbling in, bearing flowers. She says she hasn’t seen much of the women the last couple of years. She thinks it is kismet that they are all back together again. I think it’s a television deal, but that’s just me.

They catch up on their love lives, and Sonja admits that she has been a bit of a recluse lately. Luann loves a yacht, so she has planned a party on one, and the women are all looking forward to it. Luann also has a boyfriend, Michael, whom we also met on RHUGT. Luann insists they are monogomous, which is a nice change for her.

They also discuss the background between Sonja and Dorinda, and Sonja brings up the time–a decade or so ago–when Dorinda cut her out of filming at Bluestone Manor. Sonja has literally been on this hamster wheel for years.

Sonja feels that Dorinda took money from her, since the wives are paid by the episode, and that particular cast trip was three episodes. This really may be true, but it is SUCH old news, Sonja.

Next up, Dorinda and Luann arrive to meet Kelly for lunch. She has her dog with her. Luann picks the poor thing up by its harness, and I don’t like it. I usually like Luann, but it’s a dog, not a purse. Do better, Countess.

Luann catches them up on how Ramona and Sonja are doing, and we come back to Sonja being a hermit. Kelly and Dorinda haven’t seen them since their RHUGT three years ago. The women are surprised that Sonja has quit drinking, but think it’s a good thing. Dorinda doesn’t believe that Sonja is dating someone, but Dorinda hates Sonja and never believes anything she says.

Luann tells the women that she recently went to Sonja in the City show in disguise, and part of the show was Sonja badmouthing other Housewives–including calling Dorinda “unfuckable.” This can’t be the first time Dorinda has heard this, right? Based on her chewing and table manners, I would have to agree. And you can tell a lot by someone’s table manners, trust me.

Luann was hurt by Sonja’s show, and Dorinda is also on the defensive. She basically told Sonja that if she speaks about her again, Dorinda is going to sue her. And, speak of the Devil, Sonja arrives. The fake smiles abound. Sonja and Kelly debate how long it’s been since they have seen each other, and Luann and Dorinda are ready to jam out of there–pretty much as soon as Sonja arrives. Luann reminds them about the yacht party the next night and evidently, the infamous Harry Dubin will be there. Yuck.

The next night, it is raining, but they have a whole yacht to enjoy, so who cares? The Palm Beach crowd arrives, and their faces are literally indistiguishable from one another. If you’ve ever been to Palm Beach, you know what I mean. They all have the same plastic surgeon.

Harry arrives, and is on the prowl for Sonja. Again. Come on, NY girls. Do better. We waited five years for NEW drama, not Harry Frikkin Dubin.

Ramona arrives and is as socially awkward and cringey as ever. I am so glad I have never been in a room with this woman. Just watching her jerky little twitchy movements makes me so uncomfortable. They all gossip a little bit about Sonja, and Harry says Sonja is at the bar every night–despite telling everyone she quit drinking. To me, it’s frankly nobody’s business, but okay.

Sonja and Kelly finally arrive and it’s awkward, because they all have to stop talking shit about how they think she is a liar. Sonja arrives to the cocktail party in a bathing suit and I don’t get that. Kelly totally told her she was going to wear one, too, but shows up in a gown instead. Sonja is immediately irritated by Harry’s presence. Luann encourages her to give him another chance. I mean, he does have a trust fund. That’s no small thing.

All of a sudden, Sonja brings up Luann’s arrest and I gasp. I’m not sure Luann caught it, because she doesn’t really respond, and instead jumps on Sonja for lying about not seeing Harry, when he says they see each other all the time. AND then, Sonja busts out with “Luann! He said you squirted!” I gasp even louder–I really do. Sonja is coming in swinging on this show, and shots are being fired on this yacht.

Instead of getting mad, Luann totally owns it and I die. Good for her! Dorinda and Sonja have some awkward interaction. Sonja goes on and on about the past, and Dorinda has been sick of that schtick for years. Sonja dives right in on the ancient Bluestone Manor trip, and Dorinda wants no part of it. I don’t blame her. It’s very, very old news. But then again, so is Harry Dubin, and he is still there.

Luann gives a speech and Sonja falls over, as she often does. Luann is embarrassed for her, and so am I. The next morning, we see the ladies going about their morning routines. Luann has a team of gay men around for breakfast, and I love this. That’s the way to start a morning. They all tell her how rude and ignorant Ramona was on the yacht, and there is no surprise there. Ramona is consistently her worst self, and always has been.

Luann and Dorinda head out for lunch and discuss how different Palm Beach is from NYC. Luann says Palm Beach makes her hornier, and that is really saying something. Dorinda says the yacht party was bizarre, and that she doesn’t believe anything Sonja says, which as been firmly established. Luann thinks Sonja is embarrassed by her financial situation, and embellishes stories about her life. I think she just nailed it. Dorinda would do well to have more compassion.

Sonja and Kelly meet for a Pilates class. I should really work out more, but I am old and tired. Sonja feels like the girls are already ganging up on her, and now she has resorted to hanging out with Kelly Coocoockoodoodledo. T

hey gossip about Harry and I am so bored with it. I was bored with it twelve years ago, and I hope this isn’t a whole thing this season. Sonja really harps on the Dorinda/Bluestone Manor history, and Kelly seems to be the only one giving it air. Everyone else is over it.

Eventually, even Kelly does tell her to let it go, and it’s solid advice, surprisingly.

At Luann’s, her boyfriend, Michael arrives and the Countess gets all warm, fuzzy, and hormonal. She seems happy. He is set to meet most of the women for the first time that night, and Luann wonders how Sonja will behave. She warns Michael that Sonja likes to hit on her men, so he should be aware.

That afternoon, Ramona hosts a trunk/drinking show, and all of the women are invited. Luann getting ready is a whole Countess production, and I enjoy it. I want a team of professionals to do me up nice for an event.

At the event, Ramona says she only wants people who are socially prominent and financially able at her parties. She is worried about how the NYC women will fit in with her Palm Beach crowd. Ramona immediately spots a party crasher and calls her out. She tells her to buzz off and not interrupt filming. Ramona is a beast, but we’ve known that for decades.

The NYC girls all arrive late and make their entrances. Sonja comes in like a wrecking ball, talking about her gas, and Ramona continues to kick people out of her party, reminding everyone it is an exclusive event. She does not want any weeds in her garden.

Dorinda and Luann arrive and Sonja spots them, and pointedly ignores them. Ramona is annoyed that they are so late, but greets them anyway. They argue about how to pronounce the designer’s name, and Ramona butchers it. Housewives are notoriously bad with words, but it’s her event and she should do better, since she is such a maven and all.

Ramona does a whole toast to the four NYC women and Sonja won’t shut up. It’s cringey, and Ramona bellows at her to stop. She doesn’t.

They all try on some clothes and Sonja is super critical about Dorinda’s outfit. They all agree she is being rude, but Sonja seems pretty intentional with her comments, so I don’t think she cares. Ramona is the first to leave her party, and tells the women to meet her later that night. She tells them each to bring a friend, and Luann wants to bring her people, whom Ramona views as “workers” and therefore beneath her.

Have I mentioned how long this episode is? They meet up for dinner and Sonja is still rambling. It’s painful. She is like the girl at the bar who has been there too long and thinks everyone is her new best friend. I have been this girl, so I know. I miss my drinking days.

Ramona jumps on Sonja for her behavior at the sip and shop, particularly how she did not greet Luann or Dorinda. Sonja points out that they also did not say hello to her, and that’s fair. Sonja won’t let it go. Dorinda arrives and compliments Ramona on the event, and Luann shows up with all her worker bees. Queen Bee Ramona is not going to like this surprise.

Ramona is pissed and says there is no room for them at the table. She flat out calls Luann’s friends “employees” and Luann bristles. Rightfully so. Ramona is classless. They argue over which of them is more rude. They both are, but let’s be honest, Ramona is always worse and her treatment of other human beings is abominable.

Luann is wrong her for showing up with people who were not invited, but Ramona only cares because she considers them beneath her, and that’s hideous. Luann says “hi” to Sonja and Sonja seems offended. Dorinda jumps all over Sonja, and it’s just like the good old RHONY days.

Sonja feels ganged up on and says she doesn’t feel well and has to go. She acts very strangely, and Luann tells us she is erratic. Then, Sonja talks more about her gas and her hormones, and none of it makes much sense. She leaves the table to throw up, and then actually goes back which I think is just disgusting.

After all of that, the night actually ends on a fairly good note, which is not surprising–these women have always been like a ride on the bipolar express. They are all dancing and having a good time, and Ramona is once again awful to Luann’s friends. It’s hideous. I hate her, but I am so glad these bitches are back on television that I don’t even care.
RHONY, Season 16, Episode 7–Loveless Island

October 21, 2026

The women of RHONY are still on Moskito Island, some of them still think it is a dump, some of them think Erin is a snake, and some of them just want the damn Epstein Files released. Let’s dig in.

We start with Night 2 on the island and Hailey helping out Sai, who hurt her knee playing drunk tennis. Hailey is high as a kite, and it’s great. I don’t blame her a bit, but I do wonder how she got her vape to the private island? That may have been smuggled somewhere uncomfortable. I kid, I kid.

Jessel is still upset that Erin has started and spread a rumor that Jessel’s husband is gay. Carole, Erin, and Daisy are snacking because they haven’t finished a meal since they arrived. You see, every time the food gets to the table, someone starts a fight. It’s actually a great diet plan, and I think I might try it.

Erin says she is really rubbed the wrong way by Sai’s behavior earlier that day, especially bringing up Erin talking about Jessel’s husband. Erin thinks Sai is trying to get back at her because Sai thinks that Erin has been discussing her divorce all over town, which she kinda has. They all head to a gorgeous dinner, and we know what that means. No one is going to eat; everyone is going to fight.

On her way, Erika gets her dress stuck on a cactus, which reminds me of the time Luann fell in a bush, only it’s a lot less funny. Erin asks to speak to Jessel and Sai alone and says she is upset about everything Sai has said, and swears she has not spoken about Jessel’s husband in years. I’m not sure the “in years” is a ringing endorsement, but whatever.

Jessel comes right out and asks Erin if she said Pavit is gay. Carole tells us she has heard the same rumor for years, but not from Erin. They all start screaming over each other and Erin says she is done and stomps off. This time, she doesn’t step on any glass.

Jessel feels like she is in a psycho jungle episode of Naked and Afraid, and Daisy wonders how they will get through dinner.

We skip right over dinner and the next scene is the morning of Day 3. What the hell happened to dinner? Are we going to see any of it? Hailey seems to be the first up, and tells us she peed in a cup overnight, which I could have lived my whole life without knowing. Why go to a private island to be gross? Don’t they know they are supposed to be fabulous?

Erika tells Carole she feels that Daisy has been super rude about the house and the island, which is a fact. Erin has, too. Carole says the screaming the night before was insane, and then we finally see some shots of dinner and everyone dancing like they are friends. Huh? Even Carole, as seasoned Housewife, finds the change and the fakeness insane. Carole really blames Sai for the rumors about Jessel’s husband being revealed, and Sai is also on Carole’s bad side for bringing up the Epstein Files. Carole is a bit sensitive about them because, well, it seems like she may be in them.

Carole starts bringing up things about Sai’s past as something of a Sugar Baby, but says she is not insinuating anything. Right. Carole is just as vile as the other women, and it drives me crazy when she pretends she is so above it all. Lady, you are right there in the thick of it.

Sai tells us she doesn’t trust Erin one bit, and nobody really does so that’s fine. They head out to the beach and Carole is wearing one of her “I Try Too Hard To Look Like I Don’t Try” outfits. She needs a lot of attention, and it wears me out.

On the beach, Carole asks Sai about her knee and Sai asks Carole if she is enjoying the vacation. Carole gives a hesitant “yeah” and says she just wants good vibes. Sai agrees. Carole finally brings up the Epstein Files conversation and says she understands Sai’s curiosity. Carole admits she would also be digging for information if she were in Sai’s shoes. Sai says she was put off by Carole’s involvement with Ghislaine Maxwell.

Carole tells us again she never met or heard of Jeffrey Epstein and I don’t know if I buy that. Like, never ever? Not even on the NYC social scene? This seems unlikely.

Carole says she doesn’t judge anyone, but then immediately starts questioning Sai about her questionable past. It’s all some nonsense about a Sugar Daddy and a ponzi scheme. Based on this, Carole decides Sai is kind of a hypocrite. I dunno. I am not seeing the connection between a ponzi scheme and Jeffrey Epstein, but that’s just me. Sai asks Carole if she ever went to Epstein Island, and Carole is visibly pissed.

Erika checks in on Erin, who feels like she has been under attack the whole trip. Maybe that’s because she can’t keep her mouth shut about anyone’s business. Daisy’s Mounjaro has worn off and she demands some food, so they head to lunch on the beach, which looks absolutely beautiful. Erika is pleased that someone is finally happy with her island, and so am I.

At lunch, Erin asks Erika about her surrogacy journey and I wonder if she really cares or just wants to dig up dirt on more people. Daisy name drops Martha Stewart a bit. Carole asks how Daisy makes Martha look so flawless, and how she does the nude lip. Hailey yawns. So do I. Suddenly, Daisy, who must still be hungry, gets bitchy and asks Hailey how she makes her money. I am liking Daisy less and less as this season progresses.

Sai also jumps on Hailey and Hailey says it is tacky to talk about money–which is also how I was raised. Basically, Hailey wants to change the subject, and the women won’t let it drop. Tacky is as tacky does, and these girls are as tacky as it gets.

Hailey says she is a publicist and Erin wants to know how many clients she has. Hailey also won’t’ discuss this, and I don’t blame her. The women want to know if she has a trust fund and they are just jealous because they all stink of new money and tackiness. Hailey, on the other hand, probably smells like cash and really good weed.

The subject finally changes and it’s to Carole’s new story about a cursed Cartier tank watch and I don’t care. Carole clearly thinks this interesting. Apparently, Kim Kardashian now owns the cursed watch. This is a boring story, and Carole stumbles over getting it out verbally, so I think I will skip this scene, and that story.

Back at the house, Daisy and Sai break down lunch. They think a piece of the puzzle is missing when it comes to Hailey’s story. I don’t see why they care where her money comes from. She is the daughter of a plastic surgeon and she married well. Mystery solved, Bitches.

Erika has planned super casual dinner for the last night because, frankly, these women have worn her the fuck out. Carole makes fun of everyone’s clothes because Carole doesn’t care about fashion and Carole thinks that makes her better than everyone else. Carole is dumb.

Daisy complains about the island and the food some more and she is such a nightmare that I would throw her in the ocean if I were Erika. Then, Erika belches and I just wonder what the Countess would say about these new women. Erin tells us even grosser things that I literally am too grossed out by to write or repeat. You will have to watch for yourself, peeps.

They all toast to a wonderful trip and I wonder if they were on the same trip we have been watching? It wasn’t so very wonderful. They all made each other miserable, if I recall the last three episodes correctly, and I believe that I do.

Sai and Erin sit together to talk and I wish I cared more about these women and their friendships, but I just don’t. Anyhow, basically, Sai loves Erin but doesn’t trust her, and they leave it at that.