The women of RHONY are still on Moskito Island, some of them still think it is a dump, some of them think Erin is a snake, and some of them just want the damn Epstein Files released. Let’s dig in.
We start with Night 2 on the island and Hailey helping out Sai, who hurt her knee playing drunk tennis. Hailey is high as a kite, and it’s great. I don’t blame her a bit, but I do wonder how she got her vape to the private island? That may have been smuggled somewhere uncomfortable. I kid, I kid.
Jessel is still upset that Erin has started and spread a rumor that Jessel’s husband is gay. Carole, Erin, and Daisy are snacking because they haven’t finished a meal since they arrived. You see, every time the food gets to the table, someone starts a fight. It’s actually a great diet plan, and I think I might try it.
Erin says she is really rubbed the wrong way by Sai’s behavior earlier that day, especially bringing up Erin talking about Jessel’s husband. Erin thinks Sai is trying to get back at her because Sai thinks that Erin has been discussing her divorce all over town, which she kinda has. They all head to a gorgeous dinner, and we know what that means. No one is going to eat; everyone is going to fight.
On her way, Erika gets her dress stuck on a cactus, which reminds me of the time Luann fell in a bush, only it’s a lot less funny. Erin asks to speak to Jessel and Sai alone and says she is upset about everything Sai has said, and swears she has not spoken about Jessel’s husband in years. I’m not sure the “in years” is a ringing endorsement, but whatever.
Jessel comes right out and asks Erin if she said Pavit is gay. Carole tells us she has heard the same rumor for years, but not from Erin. They all start screaming over each other and Erin says she is done and stomps off. This time, she doesn’t step on any glass.
Jessel feels like she is in a psycho jungle episode of Naked and Afraid, and Daisy wonders how they will get through dinner.
We skip right over dinner and the next scene is the morning of Day 3. What the hell happened to dinner? Are we going to see any of it? Hailey seems to be the first up, and tells us she peed in a cup overnight, which I could have lived my whole life without knowing. Why go to a private island to be gross? Don’t they know they are supposed to be fabulous?
Erika tells Carole she feels that Daisy has been super rude about the house and the island, which is a fact. Erin has, too. Carole says the screaming the night before was insane, and then we finally see some shots of dinner and everyone dancing like they are friends. Huh? Even Carole, as seasoned Housewife, finds the change and the fakeness insane. Carole really blames Sai for the rumors about Jessel’s husband being revealed, and Sai is also on Carole’s bad side for bringing up the Epstein Files. Carole is a bit sensitive about them because, well, it seems like she may be in them.
Carole starts bringing up things about Sai’s past as something of a Sugar Baby, but says she is not insinuating anything. Right. Carole is just as vile as the other women, and it drives me crazy when she pretends she is so above it all. Lady, you are right there in the thick of it.
Sai tells us she doesn’t trust Erin one bit, and nobody really does so that’s fine. They head out to the beach and Carole is wearing one of her “I Try Too Hard To Look Like I Don’t Try” outfits. She needs a lot of attention, and it wears me out.
On the beach, Carole asks Sai about her knee and Sai asks Carole if she is enjoying the vacation. Carole gives a hesitant “yeah” and says she just wants good vibes. Sai agrees. Carole finally brings up the Epstein Files conversation and says she understands Sai’s curiosity. Carole admits she would also be digging for information if she were in Sai’s shoes. Sai says she was put off by Carole’s involvement with Ghislaine Maxwell.
Carole tells us again she never met or heard of Jeffrey Epstein and I don’t know if I buy that. Like, never ever? Not even on the NYC social scene? This seems unlikely.
Carole says she doesn’t judge anyone, but then immediately starts questioning Sai about her questionable past. It’s all some nonsense about a Sugar Daddy and a ponzi scheme. Based on this, Carole decides Sai is kind of a hypocrite. I dunno. I am not seeing the connection between a ponzi scheme and Jeffrey Epstein, but that’s just me. Sai asks Carole if she ever went to Epstein Island, and Carole is visibly pissed.
Erika checks in on Erin, who feels like she has been under attack the whole trip. Maybe that’s because she can’t keep her mouth shut about anyone’s business. Daisy’s Mounjaro has worn off and she demands some food, so they head to lunch on the beach, which looks absolutely beautiful. Erika is pleased that someone is finally happy with her island, and so am I.
At lunch, Erin asks Erika about her surrogacy journey and I wonder if she really cares or just wants to dig up dirt on more people. Daisy name drops Martha Stewart a bit. Carole asks how Daisy makes Martha look so flawless, and how she does the nude lip. Hailey yawns. So do I. Suddenly, Daisy, who must still be hungry, gets bitchy and asks Hailey how she makes her money. I am liking Daisy less and less as this season progresses.
Sai also jumps on Hailey and Hailey says it is tacky to talk about money–which is also how I was raised. Basically, Hailey wants to change the subject, and the women won’t let it drop. Tacky is as tacky does, and these girls are as tacky as it gets.
Hailey says she is a publicist and Erin wants to know how many clients she has. Hailey also won’t’ discuss this, and I don’t blame her. The women want to know if she has a trust fund and they are just jealous because they all stink of new money and tackiness. Hailey, on the other hand, probably smells like cash and really good weed.
The subject finally changes and it’s to Carole’s new story about a cursed Cartier tank watch and I don’t care. Carole clearly thinks this interesting. Apparently, Kim Kardashian now owns the cursed watch. This is a boring story, and Carole stumbles over getting it out verbally, so I think I will skip this scene, and that story.
Back at the house, Daisy and Sai break down lunch. They think a piece of the puzzle is missing when it comes to Hailey’s story. I don’t see why they care where her money comes from. She is the daughter of a plastic surgeon and she married well. Mystery solved, Bitches.
Erika has planned super casual dinner for the last night because, frankly, these women have worn her the fuck out. Carole makes fun of everyone’s clothes because Carole doesn’t care about fashion and Carole thinks that makes her better than everyone else. Carole is dumb.
Daisy complains about the island and the food some more and she is such a nightmare that I would throw her in the ocean if I were Erika. Then, Erika belches and I just wonder what the Countess would say about these new women. Erin tells us even grosser things that I literally am too grossed out by to write or repeat. You will have to watch for yourself, peeps.
They all toast to a wonderful trip and I wonder if they were on the same trip we have been watching? It wasn’t so very wonderful. They all made each other miserable, if I recall the last three episodes correctly, and I believe that I do.
Sai and Erin sit together to talk and I wish I cared more about these women and their friendships, but I just don’t. Anyhow, basically, Sai loves Erin but doesn’t trust her, and they leave it at that.
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