• This week, the ladies of RHONY are still on Moskito Island–Erika’s semi-private island that somehow isn’t quite good enough for some of these women, that is. Daisy says Martha would think it is a dump, and Erin agrees that it is. So, this trip has been off to a great start. We pick up with Day 2 and it is a beautiful day, so I am sure these women will manage to ruin it. Daisy is immediately annoyed that she has to make her own coffee, and my eyes roll so far back into my head that it hurts. She says the island is basically a Marriott. How nice. She calls Martha and shows her the house, and Martha says it is beautiful, so there. 

    Hailey, on the other hand, wakes up cheerful and is super polite to the house staff, which I respect. Sai and Jessel rehash the previous night’s dinner and how the women mocked Jessel’s Shein clothes. Carole, Erin, and Daisy sit to have coffee with Hailey, who is not wearing underwear. Neither is Carole, so there is that. They also rehash the dinner, and say Jessel is googling Erin and trying to find dirt. Carole, meanwhile, is worried about being googled.

    Erin and Erika go on a hike to clarify the shit Erika, Daisy, and Jessel were talking about Erin’s flooded house possibly being an insurance scam. Erika says it was a 10-second joke and she didn’t mean any harm. We also see Jessel explaining this to Sai, and Jessel admits she shouldn’t have told the joke. Jessel does wonder how someone married to an attorney could have so many insurance problems, and that does seem like a valid question to have.

    On their hike, Erin insists that she has never gone after Jessel, but that Sai has said terrible things. Erika thinks Jessel and Erin just are not compatible. Erika, however, loves Jessel, and does not blame her. Erin finally accepts that the women were joking about the flood, and moves on.

    Sai tells Jessel that Jenna Lyons texted her about her divorce, and that she heard about it from Erin. Sai is livid that Erin shared this information with someone, and it got back to Jenna. Sai says Erin swore that she would keep Sai’s secrets, and Sai feels betrayed. Daisy, Hailey, and Carole continue discussing their various google results, and Carole insists that hers are currently the worst since the rumors are that her name is in the Epstein Files. I mean, who isn’t in the Epstein Files at this point, but, agreed, it’s bad.

    Carole insists that she never heard of or knew Jeffrey Epstein, which is pretty much what everyone says. Jessel and Sai join them, and Carole continues to say that she never went to Epstein Island although she did know Ghislaine Maxwell in the early 2000’s. Carole says Ghislaine was all over New York City society, and everyone knew her. Carole says she met her in London right after her husband passed away, and a friend introduced them. Carole goes on to say that right after being introduced to Ghislaine, she received a call from The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Andrew, and they even had a boring dinner together.

    Sai finds the whole story odd and asks when Carole stopped speaking to Ghislaine, and Carole says they just drifted apart. She calls Ghislaine a social climber. Sai brings up the messages and emails that have been revealed, and says they make it appear that Carole and Ghislaine were close. Sai, as the mother of a teenage daughter, is appalled by Carole’s connection to the whole thing. She wants to know everything, but also won’t really let Carole talk. Daisy says Sai is coming in hot, and it’s true.

    Sai grills Carole, and Carole comes right out and asks if Sai thinks she is part of a sex trafficking ring. Sai simply says she doesn’t know. Carole questions Sai’s background, too, and they go at it a bit. Carole feels like Sai thinks Carole is guilty of something, and Sai doesn’t buy anything Carole is selling. Carole also shares that she was sexually assaulted by a professor in college, and sympathizes with all of Epstein’s victims. Daisy feels bad that Carole feels she has to reveal this in order to defend herself from Sai.

    Carole realizes the Ghislaine connection will be with her name forever, and Hailey relates. Daisy doesn’t see the comparison. She feels like no one would ever know or remember Hailey banged Jon Gosselin if she didn’t keep bringing it up, and I gotta agree. Hailey wants Daisy to do her lashes later, so she lets it slide.

    They finally break it up and head to get ready for the pool. Hailey admits to Sai that she is pissed about what Daisy said. She thinks Daisy is dumb and stupid, and I can’t disagree here. At the pool, Carole asks Daisy about Sai coming for her about the Epstein stuff. Daisy says that Sai’s delivery is just hot and harsh, but that she is a good friend. Carole is still surprised. Erin arrives and wants to do shots. Carole says it is too early. Carole is a fun sponge.

    Daisy asks Sai if she is in a better mood and Sai acts like she doesn’t get the question. She says her mood is fine, and that she had valid questions for Carole. Daisy questions Sai’s delivery. Erika finds the whole thing rich since Daisy’s own manners are horrific. She thinks Daisy is a hypocrite. Sai asks Carole if she offended her, and Carole replies that she was taken aback. The thing is, I feel like if any of the other women were involved in a scandal, Carole would put her journalist hat on and dig right in. She had to have been expecting this.

    Daisy starts again about Sai’s delivery and Sai has had enough. She asks Daisy if she is a fucking teacher or what? 

    Daisy basically calls Sai unlikable, and Sai says she is tired of Daisy making little digs at her. Daisy starts again about her popcorn ceilings and says Sai did not defend her when the other women made fun of them. Christ, these women can hold on to shit. Sai pretty much admits that she doesn’t like Daisy’s apartment either. She then apologizes for not having Daisy’s back, and Erin chimes in. Sai is not having that. She goes after Erin for spreading her private information around.

    Sai asks Erin who she has told about her separation. Erin insists she has only told her husband, and Sai calls bullshit and tells her about the message from Jenna Lyons. Erin says she never told Jenna anything. Sai wants to know who she told. Sai is tired of the game of telephone about her life. Sai starts yelling about loose lips and queefing and Sai is gross. This is not the RHONY I want. I miss the Countess and Sonja.

    Erin says that if Sai doesn’t believe her, they are not friends, and Sai seems just fine with that. Sai says Erin talks shit about everyone and Erin says they are done. Hailey tells us that Erin always plays the victim when she is caught. Jessel hands out more shots, and Erin stomps off to sulk but winds up stepping on a huge chunk of glass. I shouldn’t laugh, but I do. Meanwhile, Sai is telling Jessel that Erin has been talking shit about Jessel’s husband, so I am sure that will come up later.

    Erika checks on Erin so she won’t sue her over the glass in her foot, and Erin cries and plays victim. She says Sai is not a nice person. This may be true, but Erin sure does run her mouth a lot.

    Sai is still bitching and I am tired of her chirpy little complaining. I just haven’t warmed to this new New York cast. They all kind of irritate me. Jessel goes over to Erin and apologizes for her comments about Erin’s flood, but then wonders what Erin has been saying about her husband. They agree they need to hash things out, but at another time. Carole thinks Sai just weaponizes rumors and it isn’t cool. Carole is not so great with words for a writer girl. Hailey just wants to take an edible and chill, and THAT is a cause I can get behind. Back in her room, Erin, Carole, and Daisy continue to harp on the Sai thing and I am over it.

    Sai and Jessel call Chris, Sai’s makeup artist, to discuss Bravocon and the shit Erin talked there. Most of it was about Jessel’s husband. Chris confirms this and says Erin said that Jessel’s husband is gay. She said she knows it for a fact and has proof that he cheats at the gym. Jessel says her husband doesn’t even go to a gym. Jessel says Erin has plenty of skeletons in her closet and should watch her back.

    Next up, they all reconvene to play tennis and drink some more. I don’t understand drinking games. I mean, drinking IS the game, so why bother with the rest? I dunno. That’s just me. Sai hurts her knee and this is a great example of why drinking and physical activity is a bad idea. Just sit the hell down and get drunk, for Christ’s sake.

    Read last week’s recap here!

  • This week picks up at Tamra’s party, where she has intentionally invited John and Alexis in a blatant attempt to make Shannon as uncomfortable as possible. That has pretty much been the theme of the last couple of seasons, so at least Tamra is consistent in her commitment to being terrible.

    Heather accuses Alexis of trying to create a problem simply by giving her a look, and Alexis starts crying. Heather is furious about all the shit Alexis has been talking about her and tells Alexis to go. Heather then prances back into the party with that little Other Mother from Coraline walk she does and gives the other women her side of the story.

    Alexis attempts to explain her side to Tamra and Jo, but she is too inarticulate to make much of a case for herself. Vicki arrives and is literally the only person happy to see Alexis and John, which tells you something about the state of affairs at this party.

    Alexis eventually returns and wants to talk to Heather. They debate which one of them actually has beef with the other, and Alexis starts yelling at Heather about revealing information concerning the night of Shannon’s DUI accident. The two spend a great deal of time talking over each other, so naturally, nobody gets anywhere.

    Carmella calls Alexis dramatic, which is an understatement. Heather finally tells Alexis that nobody cares, and for once, Heather is simply stating a fact.

    Alexis tells the other women that Heather is delusional and needs a storyline, then proceeds to talk more shit about Shannon. Shannon tells her to zip it, and Alexis stomps off yet again. I hope it’s for good this time. Even Tamra can’t support Alexis at this point, which is quite the accomplishment considering Tamra’s own track record of stirring up trouble.

    The women start discussing their upcoming trip to Japan, and Carmella needs to get her passport but is clearly nervous about the whole excursion. Meanwhile, Eddie and Tamra give a boring speech about their boring business, and once again, nobody cares. Nothing says riveting reality television quite like an unsolicited business presentation.

    Shane finally arrives at the party, and everyone is happy to see him. Well, everyone except Emily, who seems decidedly lukewarm about the whole thing. Nothing says marital bliss quite like your husband arriving at a party and everyone else being more excited about it than you are.

    The party is finally over, and we cut to Shannon with her dog, Archie, who has been having convulsions. This makes me so terribly sad. Pets are everything. Shannon calls her daughter, Stella, to update her on the situation, and she is clearly worried about what might happen to Archie while she is in Japan. Archie is her best friend, and I feel really bad for Shannon here. 

    Emily and Jen meet up and discuss Jen and Ryan’s kids, five of whom still live with them. Emily questions Jen about why she and Ryan have had such a long engagement, and Jen tells us she is afraid of something going wrong once they are married.

    Jen is getting threads, and I am SO interested in this. I wonder if they work? I feel like I should get some. Emily decides to get some, too, even though her face barely moves as it is.

    Next, we get some shots of the women packing for the trip, and it’s all filler, of course. Heather tells Terry that Carmella has been feeling awful because of her diabetes. Heather acts like she cares about Carmella, but I am not buying it for a second. She just wants to look good, as usual.

    At the airport, Carmella texts Jen that she isn’t coming because she has been too stressed to travel and her blood sugar is bad. I dunno. Declining your first big cast trip is really a bad idea. Andy Cohen must be displeased. The women speculate that Vicki will be happy with this latest development, and she is.

    Shannon shares that Archie was diagnosed with brain cancer, and everyone is devastated for her. Twelve hours later, they finally arrive in Tokyo, and I think about how much I hate long flights. I went to Italy for the day once, and that was the longest flight I ever took. The trip, however, did not go as planned. It’s a long story.

    Vicki does her usual backseat gagging routine and it is too much for Jen. Shannon is sick, too. These old biddies are gross. They arrive at the hotel and plan to freshen up for dinner. They do the room set up and Jen and Tamra are staying together, and, of course, Gina and Emily are, too.

    That night, Shannon is late for dinner, as usual. Emily and Gina lag behind with her, but they all eventually make it to the table. Vicki doesn’t eat raw fish, so she has some kind of duck pate. They discuss how many of them have been to jail, and everyone agrees that Shannon’s jail was probably the bougiest. Shannon, however, did not find the accommodations up to her standards.

    Heather and Tamra revisit the Alexis showdown at Tamra’s party. Tamra tells Alexis called Heather “feckless,” and none of the women even know what it means. Heather doesn’t even pretend, for a change.

    Jen asks Emily about her marriage and Tamra chimes in that the stress of Luke’s special needs must be affecting them. Emily says she feels no closeness to Shane because he is so snarky to her. Tamra asks if they ever discuss divorce. Emily admits that she has, but Shane never brings it up. Vicki tells her to make it work, and again brings up Don and how she let her marriage to him go too soon. Jen asks if Emily thinks that Shane is insecure about how good Emily is looking, and Emily agrees his attitude towards her has changed, and she feels indifferent towards him. Jen agrees with Vicki that Emily should make it work, but Tamra pushes Emily to say she is at her end. 

    Gina thinks that Shane just needs help around the house, and that Emily should hire someone. They have the money, and i totally agree. 

    They wrap up dinner and head out to hit the city, and Vicki is miserable about it, so she stays at the hotel alone. I thought she really wanted her orange back? She certainly doesn’t seem to be enjoying it. They go to a small bar and there is a big giant snake in a bottle. I don’t like it. They take shots out of the bottle, and I like it even less.

    The next morning, Emily calls Shane and they have a miserable little conversation. Gina sees that Shane and Emily are just not on the same page at all. Emily tells us she feels like she and Shane are enemies and that she is failing.

    They all head out to a temple, which is usually disastrous for these women because they have zero respect for other cultures. Gina leads them all through a cleansing ritual and then they head over to get their fortunes. Gina’s is really good. They all have super specific fortunes that seem suited to them, and I smell producer intervention.

    Vicki’s fortune says that her mind is never still, and Gina tells her it means that Vicki is going senile. Lol. Vicki burns the fortune and says she never wants to play this game again. Neither do I.

    Read last week’s recap here!

  • The episode opens with day two of the ladies’ San Francisco trip, and we get various shots of them waking up and phoning home.

    Angie calls Mary, who isn’t on the trip, to tell her that she is missed. Mary says she and Robert Sr. are doing well and asks how the trip has been. Angie says it started out okay, and then recounts all of the fights from the night before.

    We see some of the other women, including Meredith, saying that the others attacked Ashley Quai. Ashley says she is especially hurt by Whitney.

    Angie goes to Heather’s room and they rehash the night. Heather gushes over her boyfriend a little bit and says she thinks she is in love. They discuss how long they have known each other and how far they have come, and Angie starts to break down.

    She admits that she is going through a hard time in her marriage with Sean. Angie says she has been smiling through it, but she is struggling. She feels like Heather can relate because she went through her own divorce.

    Angie says that her opinion has typically not mattered in her marriage, but that lately, she has been more vocal, and Sean is not liking it. They are a great team, but they have both changed. They are not acting like a married couple. 

    Angie loves her husband, but doesn’t know what she wants anymore. She was raised to believe that marriage was forever, so she is facing some hard decisions and worrying about what they will mean for her daughter.

    Heather promises to keep their conversation private (until it airs, of course), and give Angie time to think.

    Bronwyn texts everybody to meet in the lobby in an hour so they can split into groups for the day’s activities. She has divided them up so she can avoid everyone who pissed her off last night, which is a lot of people. Planning who can go with whom is like a game of Jenga.

    Heather, Britani, and Whitney meet up for morning mimosas and oysters. Whitney says she feels horrible about what happened with Quai. Britani says she is trying not to talk shit about Bronwyn, and then questions her divorce and how much Bronwyn has been drinking. Heather says Bronwyn and Todd were out together recently to sign papers for the sale of their house. Britani says that’s bullshit and the house is owned by Todd’s LLC. She is a realtor and has looked up the actual signatures.

    They all do this kind of research on each other, and it’s icky.

    Britani is pleased with herself, but Heather says Britani doesn’t know what she is talking about. She probably doesn’t. Britani starts questioning basically everything that Bronwyn has been saying, and Whitney agrees that the optics are sketchy.

    They all meet up with the other women and Bronwyn arranges a shopping trip and a “curated” experience for the two groups of women. Angie is bummed to be in Meredith and Quai’s group. Heather, Bronwyn, and Whitney head out to go shopping.

    Lisa, Meredith, Quai, and Angie arrive at an antique vibrator museum, and it is clear that Bronwyn is trying to screw them with this activity. It sucks, and it’s awkward.

    I would describe the museum, but do I really need to? Bronwyn and the other women laugh at the group who is at the scary museum, but Lisa says it doesn’t make her uncomfortable at all. It makes me uncomfortable, so I fast forward it.

    The other women head to a private shopping trip at a vintage store, and I would much rather look at vintage clothes than vintage dildos.

    The shopping group reviews the previous night’s fight, and Bronwyn says she wishes more of them had her back. Britani starts questioning her about her house and who owns it. It’s rude and intrusive. Heather tells her to back off. Bronwyn admits that she and Todd only have a handshake deal on most things, and that Todd gets jealous about Bronwyn’s very public relationship. Heather worries it could cause problems in Bronwyn’s divorce.

    Later, they all meet back at the hotel to get ready for dinner. Angie calls Elektra to check in on her and tells us that she knows her daughter feels the tension in her marriage.

    In the Sprinter van, Bronwyn tells them they are headed to Chinatown for a dumpling-making demonstration, and that sounds awesome. The chefs decide that Lisa’s dumpling is the best, and she is thrilled. Heather thinks she cheated.

    They head upstairs for a private dinner and it looks beautiful. Let’s see how they ruin it.

    The two groups discuss their days, and the vibrator museum gets more attention than it deserves. Quai gives Heather pasties as a peace offering, and somehow it seems to work. These women are nutso. Heather puts them right on, as one does.

    Lisa gives Bronwyn a heart-covered dildo, and I can’t believe what goes on at these dinners. I would die. I thought Mormons were prudes, but whatevs. Quai gives Whitney a ball gag and Whitney says she gets the message immediately, but would have preferred a vibrator.

    Whitney apologizes for telling Angie that Quai cleaned the toilet with her husband’s boyfriend, but says that Quai is getting too close to Meredith. Whitney thinks Meredith is trying to pit the other women against her, which is totally true.

    Meredith makes no apologies for it, and then they are all screaming. Angie tells everyone to stop speaking over each other and it makes no difference. Lisa yells the loudest. She blames Whitney, Quai, and Heather for the whole thing.

    Bronwyn speaks up and says that Quai has said something negative about everyone in the group. She admits she may have amped the group up, but puts the blame firmly on Quai.

    Bronwyn says that the only person Quai has not talked shit about is Meredith, and Heather finds this funny because “word on the street” is that Quai has a problem with Meredith. I am kind of sick of Quai and would like her to go away. Angie has also heard that Quai can’t stand Meredith. Heather puts Quai on the spot, and Quai denies having any problem with Meredith and says she has never said anything negative about her. Whitney says this is bullshit and points to a specific incident. Somebody is lying here.

    Quai can’t believe that Whitney is trying to cause problems again, and insists that she loves Meredith. Meredith says she would never believe anything Whitney says. Whitney says Quai said she doesn’t like Meredith and how she operates. Meredith and Lisa start doing their tag team thing and ignoring the rest of the table, speaking over Whitney. Lisa keeps lining her lips and it’s annoying. Angie tells her her lips look crazy, like a vagina. Oh, my.

    This started out so nicely—with the dumplings and all. Suddenly, it’s not so cute.

    Read Last Week’s Recap Here!

  • This week, the women are headed to Erika’s private island, yes—PRIVATE island, and we all know these trips usually bring plenty of drama, so let’s dig right in. We start off with the women already there! No boring packing scenes, no tense airport drama, they are just there. Erika says the island is her happy place and she is really looking forward to the time with these women. Has she seen a Housewives trip before? This girl’s happy place is about to get crazy.

    They are greeted with private little golf carts and drinks as they make their way to the house. Oh, wait, it’s more of a resort, called Oasis. Everyone is appropriately impressed. Hailey says she loves vacation, but her mind is always on vacation. I believe her. Girl did bang Jon Gosselin, after all. Jessel thinks the whole island smells like money, and she loves it. Daisy immediately bitches about the food, claiming she is vegetarian. Erika is annoyed, and I would be, too. Bitch, you are on my private island. Have some grapes and shut up.

    They choose their rooms, and there is surprisingly little drama because Ramona got fired and doesn’t ruin every trip anymore. Everyone takes a moment to go to their rooms and get cleaned up before meeting for cocktails. Carole left her silk pillow at the airport, and is upset because her skin has not touched cotton in like twenty years. I dislike her intensely. Even more than I did on her first go around.

    Sai complains to Erika and Hailey that she is exhausted and hasn’t been sleeping. She admits she is a little checked out, and then we get flashbacks to her packing for the trip. As she was packing, she got messages saying her husband filed for divorce, and she is still in shock by how public it has all been.

    Hailey says she didn’t read the press about Sai, because she hates the tabloids. Hailey has her own experience in this department. She offers Sai some Xanax. Oh, my. That’s friendly. It turns out Hailey has a whole pharmacy in her bag. Xanax makes me angry, so I dunno. I avoid the shit. Maybe that’s why I am so wired all the time.

    Erika says she has an alter ego named Kendra, but that Kendra is in jail because Erika’s husband has had enough of her. Well, then. It turns out Billionaire Erika has a deep, abiding love for Taco Bell. Who knew? Erika and Daisy gossip about Sai a bit, but say they feel badly for her because her husband blindsided her with the divorce. Jessel goes to Carole’s room to kiss her ass, and Carole doesn’t seem to hate it, although I suspect she does hate Jessel. They revisit Carole calling Jessel a dingbat. Carole says it was a term of endearment and tells her to Google it. Jessel brings up Carolyn Kennedy again, and just doesn’t seem to get that Carole does not want to talk about it. Jessel says her dad died, and she has become good at blocking things out. Then, Carole realizes there are drones watching them, but nevermind, they are just birds. I can’t with these dingbats.

    Erin says she wants to drink and decompress on the trip, but also that she needs to speak to Jessel. These two hate each other, so that should be interesting. Daisy confirms that Jessel has been insinuating, along with Daisy, that Erin has money problems, and that the flood at her house may have been for the insurance. Erin is livid and goes storming into the house. She can barely even speak she is so angry. Daisy, who literally just started this trouble, tries to comfort her.

    We cut to the women getting ready for dinner, and Erika explains they will be having dinner in the pool, which honestly does not sound all that great to me. I don’t think I like it. Jessel is shook, especially by the fact that she can’t wear shoes. Erika says she accidentally called Carole “Carolyn,” and that is bad. She is also catching bad vibes from Erin and Daisy.

    Erin and Daisy are off talking shit about the island. They don’t understand why they didn’t fly private, and think it’s just a house on an island. This is about some of the silliest and rudest shit I have heard on this show, and that’s saying something. Jessel and Erika think Erin has latched on to Daisy, and I have to agree.

    Carole, once again dressed like an adolescent boy, makes her way outside to Erika and Jessel, and says the whole island is incredible. At least she knows how to be gracious and appreciative, unlike Erin.

    Erin is still fired up and ready to share some things she knows about Jessel. I have a feeling she is waiting for dinner to really let the shit fly. Erin and Daisy finally join the women before dinner, and everybody is catching weird vibes from them and wondering what took them so long. Carole starts asking around for a silk pillowcase. Geezus. I guess there is no Door Dash on a private island, huh?

    The pool dinner looks pretty, but completely impractical and I hate it. I would still go to Erika’s private island, though. And I wouldn’t bitch about flying commercial, either. Jessel asks a bunch of stupid questions, and then Daisy questions whether or not the island is Erika’s. Erika explains that it is owned by the seven couples who live there, and Daisy, with her popcorn ceilings, seems unimpressed. Erin jumps in on the questioning, and it’s really tacky. I would kick them both off of my island in a hot pink minute.

    Sai addresses her divorce and admits she is not doing that great. The women are generally sympathetic. Sai says she was so crushed by the filing that it has destroyed any feeling she ever had for her husband. She is mostly worried about her children and the way they will be impacted by the publicity. Sai is concerned about the narrative her ex will create. She insists she is transparent and authentic, but that she has been living a lie when it comes to her marriage. Hailey mentions her concern that Sai’s husband might try to get alimony, and that seems to be a very real possibility.

    Daisy and Erin question Erika about whether it bothers her that her husband makes so much more money than her, and then they start making fun of Daisy’s popcorn ceilings. She kind of has it coming this time.

    Erin calls Erika out for talking shit about her with Jessel. Erin starts going after Jessel, too, and says she is sick over what she has heard. Just then, the sky erupts and the pool dinner is rained out. It looks absolutely miserable. Carole falls on her ass, and I enjoy it.

    They dry off and some of the women head up to their rooms while Carole, Hailey, and Erin play pool. Jessel and Daisy are still bitching at each other about the popcorn ceilings. For some reason, Daisy starts insulting Erika and her decor. Daisy is working my last nerve this episode. Jessel calls her out for telling Erin what they said about her. Erin overhears this and goes insane—telling Jessel she is despicable. She confronts Erika, too, and Jessel asks why Daisy doesn’t admit she was talking shit, too. Erin just wants to know exactly what was said. They admit they questioned whether her flood was an insurance scam, and Erin is really hurt. Jessel is unmoved, as usual. She blames Daisy for causing the problems, and I agree.

    Daisy insists she is being gaslighted. I don’t think that word means what she thinks it means. Erin tells Jessel off and again calls her despicable and insults her clothes. Shots fired on this semi-private island!

    Read Last Week’s Recap Here!