This episode of Vicki is a Downer opens with Emily, Shannon, and Gina out to lunch. They discuss the luau party and how Vicki refuses to apologize to Carmella, or even acknowledge that she insulted her by saying her boyfriend raises her kids. Gina questions Emily about whether she is happy in her marriage, and Emily says there is a disconnect.
Tamra goes for some kind of scan with Vicki, and of course, the Carmella thing comes up. Vicki doesn’t think she said anything wrong, as usual. Vicki asks the doctor if she is at risk for Alzheimer’s, but he sees no sign of that. Vicki is relieved because she doesn’t want anything to slow her down at work.
At Heather’s penthouse, Terry is talking to his mom on the phone. She is quite unhappy where she is living and feels disoriented. She does have Alzheimer’s, and it’s sad. Heather says she feels bad about her own mom, and that her mother really will only have surface-level conversations with her. Heather says her family used to tease her for being emotional, and that has affected her all of her life. She says Terry fills a big void for her, and then she fake chokes up a little bit. She says she and Terry have reparented each other, and it’s all just a little staged and new age for me.
Emily hosts a Persian party at her in-laws’ house. Why does she always host there? I know she says it’s better than hers for entertaining, but her house seems just fine to me. Luke doesn’t come because he can become agitated at events, so he stays at Emily’s actual house, where she does not host parties.
All of the women arrive, and Heather’s mom comes, too. Carmella wants to try to avoid Vicki, even though she is still pissed at her. Heather is, too. Vicki walks right up to them both and is super fake nice and friendly. It turns out Vicki is mad at Tamra because she told the women that Vicki has brain damage, which they kind of, but not really, found out when they were getting their scans. Tamra insists that it is not that deep.
Vicki makes gross fart jokes that she thinks are funny. I don’t. She says she doesn’t want Tamra’s toxic energy in her life, and meanwhile, Tamra comes right out and says Vicki is not a good person. They all agree that Vicki has been talking shit about Heather, too. Vicki starts being a downer, again, and says she is going to leave. Tamra wants to confront her about the silent treatment and tries to help Vicki down the porch stairs. Vicki says she wants to clear things up and that she does not have brain damage. She starts crying and says it is no one’s business, and she feels like she can’t trust Tamra. Does Vicki forget this was filmed? Tamra calls Vicki out for saying she is toxic.
Vicki says the other women talk too much. Vicki goes back to harping on her brain damage and cries some more. Tamra apologizes, and they seem to move on, but I am sure this will come up again. Heather talks to her mom about getting involved in the arts scene in LA. Heather wants to get to a good place with her mom and focus on their time together. Tamra brings up Japan and suggests they all go there together. I love how production makes it seem like these ideas come up on the spur of the moment. It never fails. Did I mention the food looks really good? It’s 8:54 and I haven’t eaten yet. I should work on that.
Later, Jen visits Carmella at an empty house. Not her house—a different empty house.
Carmella tries to teach Jen about being a developer or whatever. She wants Jen, who has no experience, to be like a design consultant. Carmella and Jen discuss how important it is to have their financial independence and not be dependent on a man.
At Emily’s, she and Shane are tense and uncomfortable to watch. As usual. Emily says Luke texted her dozens of times when she was at her Persian party. Shane says he is usually the one running around doing everything. She also thinks that Luke works her with texts and tears. Emily is mad that Shane left the party early and did not come back. Shane is defensive and doesn’t want to talk about it. Emily is worried about them going to Tamra’s couples party that is coming up. She is frustrated that Shane won’t say anything, and he wants gratitude for all that he does with the kids.
At Tamra’s party, one season wonder Elizabeth Vargas shows up. I am so glad she isn’t on the show anymore. Remember her? If you don’t, be glad. She was super annoying. Alexis Bellino and John Janssen are also coming, because the producers are determined to drive Shannon absolutely insane. For real. Holy crap. It’s a whole Housewives reunion, and forgotten dinosaur Quinn Fry is there, being boring, just like the old days. Jeana Keough is there, too.
Jo, from Seasons 1 and 2, is also there, along with Lynne Curtin. Geezus. Everyone knows we are just waiting for Alexis and John to show and give Shannon an aneurysm. Those two really need to get a life. Off of this show. But, then again, they probably need the money. Badly.
Emily reveals that Alexis has been talking about Heather. She was offended by something Heather said on WWHL. Heather said she was unsure if she would go to Alexis’ wedding out of respect for Shannon. I mean, duh. Who would want to go to that wedding anyway? Oh, wait. Tamra went, didn’t she? There you go.
Crazy Ass Braunwyn shows up with her wife. Is she even divorced from her husband yet? Whatever. Even Vicki’s boyfriend, Mike, is there. It’s a full house, and it looks like it’s gonna implode.
Shannon says she doesn’t care about Alexis and John. Annd, here they come, accompanied by dramatic music. Alexis shoots eye daggers at Heather and doesn’t say “hello” to her. Heather rushes over to tell the other women about the snub.
Tamra is, of course, thrilled to see Alexis and John, because she knows they stir up shit. Vicki once again greets Carmella like she never insulted her.
Tamra asks Alexis if she really gave Heather a dirty look. Alexis says she actually blew her a kiss. Alexis starts freaking out, and John Janssen wanders out to be near the other women, including Shannon. Shannon wonders if he rented his tux, and I laugh.
Alexis is totally losing her mind and makes a big show of stomping off. Tamra tells Heather to come talk with Alexis, and that certainly doesn’t seem like a good idea, unless you’re Tamra. Heather tells Alexis to chill the fuck out. Alexis says she doesn’t owe Heather anything, and then they start yelling over each other, and Heather stomps back towards the party.
Oh, well. I was expecting much more of a shit show. So was my husband. These episodes are all show and no go lately.
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