Heather Dubrow’s 10 Most Pretentious Moments: Fancy Pants Has Entered the Building

Heather Dubrow has given us many things over the years: Champagne emergencies, 22,000-square-foot houses, elaborate cakes, four kinds of ice and an apparently endless supply of opinions about how everyone else should behave.

She is Fancy Pants.

And while I appreciate a woman who knows what she likes, Heather has occasionally taken “fancy” to places where the rest of us are forced to ask, “Are we really doing this?”

Here are Heather Dubrow’s 10 most pretentious moments.

10. The Wine Temperature Lecture

Heather is in Hawaii with Vicki and Tamra, and naturally the conversation turns to wine.

Most people would drink the wine.

Heather explains the proper temperature for it.

Because of course she does.

Tamra and Vicki just want to drink the damn wine, while Heather is apparently hosting a graduate seminar in oenology. This is Fancy Pants in her natural habitat: turning a perfectly pleasant glass of wine into a lesson.

9. The $400 Shirts

When Heather and Terry are preparing for their Tahiti trip, they go shopping for clothes, and Terry finds shirts that cost around $400.

Heather is not horrified.

This is just vacation shopping.

She also approaches packing like she is preparing the wardrobe department for a Broadway production, with outfits planned and everything meticulously organized.

Some of us throw seven shirts into a suitcase and hope for the best.

Heather has a system.

8. The Hexagonal Ice

This one is legendary.

While discussing the Chateau, Heather gets very serious about the different kinds of ice they will have in the house. She wants different shapes and sizes for different drinks.

Yes.

Ice.

She later acknowledged that it was ridiculous but explained that since there were going to be several ice makers, why not have different kinds? Terry apparently loves ice and believes it is important for a good cocktail.

Heather Dubrow has made ice a design feature.

7. The Leech Therapy

Heather tries leech therapy.

And because this is Heather, she doesn’t simply put some leeches on herself and call it a day. She explains the treatment while Vicki watches in horror as blood starts seeping through Heather’s clothing.

This one is less “rich woman” and more “I have reached a level of wellness you cannot comprehend.”

Bravo has included the leech therapy among Heather’s most memorable moments.

6. The Champagne Button

Heather’s closet has a button that rings in the kitchen so someone can bring her Champagne.

She has described it as being for a Champagne emergency.

A Champagne emergency.

I would like to experience one of these.

Actually, I would like to experience several.

5. The Chateau

Heather and Terry’s enormous Chateau is one of the purest expressions of Heather Dubrow’s worldview.

The house is enormous, elaborate and packed with details that most people would never think to request.

But the thing that really gets me is that Heather wasn’t just building a house.

She was building an ecosystem in which every possible luxury had its own designated place.

Including the ice.

Especially the ice.

4. The $36,000 Dinner Party

Heather once threw a dinner party that reportedly cost around $36,000.

There were flowers, custom décor, ice sculptures, Nobu catering, alcohol and party favors.

The best part?

The evening basically fell apart before everyone even got to eat.

This is the Heather Dubrow experience in one event: spend an extraordinary amount of money creating a beautiful evening and then watch the Housewives destroy it.

Honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

3. Bowgate

Heather hosts a party celebrating her decision to legally take Terry’s last name.

There is an elegant cake.

The cake has a bow.

Sarah Winchester eats part of the bow.

Heather loses her mind.

“You defiled my cake” is born.

This is perhaps the single greatest example of Heather taking something completely ridiculous and treating it like a matter of international diplomacy. Bravo has revisited Bowgate repeatedly, and Heather herself has since called it one of her most iconic moments.

And honestly, if you are going to eat the bow off Heather Dubrow’s cake, you better be prepared for consequences.

2. The Colette Cake That Wasn’t Even Real

Heather launches Colette, her sparkling wine, and becomes extremely concerned about transporting the elaborate cake for the event.

She worries about damaging it.

She worries about how it will travel.

She worries about the cake.

And then we discover the cake is made of Styrofoam.

It isn’t even edible.

Heather spent all that time worrying about transporting a fake cake.

This is Fancy Pants operating at peak efficiency.

1. The “Fancy Pants” Announcement

Heather didn’t just become Fancy Pants.

She knew she was Fancy Pants.

From the moment she arrived on RHOC, Heather made it very clear that she had standards. She had manners. She had opinions about wine temperatures. She had opinions about ice. She had elaborate parties. She had designer clothes. She had a giant house. She had Champagne.

And eventually, the nickname stuck.

“Fancy Pants” is not just a nickname for Heather Dubrow.

It is a lifestyle.

A lifestyle that apparently requires several kinds of ice and a button for emergency Champagne.

And honestly?

I am jealous of the Champagne button.