Luann has given us many versions of herself over the years, but nothing quite compares to early RHONY Countess Luann — when etiquette was a lifestyle, titles mattered, and she was more than happy to educate everyone around her on proper behavior.
Here are her 10 most gloriously pretentious Countess moments.
1. “You should introduce me as the Countess.”
Season 1 Luann getting offended when Bethenny introduced her to a driver simply as “Luann” was the purest possible introduction to Countess Luann. She made it very clear that a woman of her social standing should not simply be presented by her first name.
2. The “Money Can’t Buy You Class” Era
Luann didn’t just believe she had class. She wrote a book about etiquette, released a song called “Money Can’t Buy You Class,” and turned the entire concept into a personal brand. Nothing says humility quite like making your own theme song about how classy you are.
3. Teaching Bethenny About Etiquette
Luann sitting Bethenny down to explain proper manners was peak Countess. She genuinely considered herself an authority on social etiquette, while Bethenny was approximately the least receptive student she could possibly have chosen.
4. “I Never Feel Guilty About Being Privileged.”
Luann’s early declaration about privilege was classic Countess. She wasn’t going to apologize for her lifestyle, her connections, or the world she came from. She was the Countess, and she felt very comfortable with that.
5. “Even Louis Vuitton Makes Mistakes.”
Luann inspecting Alex McCord’s infamous shoes and responding to Alex’s defense that they were Louis Vuitton with, “Even Louis Vuitton makes mistakes,” was aristocratic snobbery distilled into one sentence. The Countess had spoken.
6. The Curtsy Lesson
Luann’s etiquette philosophy went all the way to teaching people how to properly curtsy when meeting a queen. Because naturally, this was information the average American woman desperately needed.
7. “I Lived in Europe.”
Whenever Luann needed to establish her credentials as an expert on manners, sophistication or civilized behavior, her European experience was never far away. She had lived in Europe, married into French aristocracy, and was more than willing to explain what that had taught her.
8. Correcting Everyone on the Meaning of “Class”
Luann didn’t merely think she was classy. She had an entire philosophy about what class meant — manners, consideration, elegance and knowing how to make other people comfortable. Naturally, she was happy to explain all of this to anyone who would listen.
9. Keeping the “Countess” Title After the Divorce
The marriage ended, but the Countess absolutely did not. Luann continued using the title and eventually turned “Countess” into a full-fledged entertainment brand. The aristocracy may have been dead, but Luann was keeping the merchandise department alive.
10. Going to See Her Own Cabaret Poster in Miami
During the Miami trip, Luann took a moment away from all the chaos to admire a giant poster advertising her own cabaret. She posed in front of it and proudly admired the image of herself.
Nothing says “Countess” quite like wandering around Miami and stopping to appreciate your own giant promotional poster. The Countess had arrived — and fortunately, she had already put up a billboard to let everyone know.
Jurassic Snark: A Place to Excavate The Real Housewives 
Leave a comment