RHOBH, Season 12, Episode 14–Shameless Not Ruthless

Dorit and P.K. go to get their teeth worked on and cleaned. Dorit tells us about P.K. being pulled over on suspicion of DUI. She says he made a mistake, and they are working through it. She is involved with a charity, “Homeless, Not Toothless,” a charity that helps homeless people get dental care. Dorit is hosting a benefit for them and has invited all of the girls, and her dentist.

Crystal and Sutton meet at Sutton’s store, and it’s weird to see them getting along after just recapping the infamous “Ugly Leather Pants” episode. Sutton tells Crystal that Rinna blew up at her at Rinna’s house the other day. Sutton thinks Rinna likes an audience, and that is a fact that cannot be disputed. Crystal shares that she is struggling with her eating disorder. I don’t like Crystal much, but I feel badly for her. Eating disorders are no joke. Know that.

At Diana Jenkins’, her fiancé is singing and it’s intolerable. Diana is intolerable. Remember when Erika told Garcelle to pee on her? That was my favorite.

We go to Kyle’s, where Erika is visiting. They are having a sound bath and some assisted stretching. It looks awkward and painful.

Kyle asks Erika about her dating life, and Erika says she mostly has friends with benefits, with older men. Older men are her jam. Mine, too. Kyle tells Erika that Garcelle has been discussing Erika’s drinking. Erika admits she is depressed, but doesn’t think she has a problem, and doesn’t think Garcelle is coming from a good place.

They discuss the “Homeless, Not Toothless” event coming up, and neither of them like the name very much. They don’t know what to expect at the party.

We see the women getting ready for Dorit’s charity party, and Sutton wants to make sure to stay away from Rinna. At Dorit’s, the table looks great, which usually spells trouble. Kathy Hilton arrives with Taylor Armstrong’s friend, Dwight. Remember him? He’s never been on the cast but somehow comes to all of the parties. It’s a good gig. He is no longer friends with Taylor, though. Nobody really is.

Everyone arrives, and there is not a homeless or a toothless person in sight, which I don’t get. The women discuss how hard it must be to not have teeth, and it’s clear that they are trying to connect with the charity, but have no idea what they are talking about.

Rinna greets Sutton immediately, but it’s a little awkward. P.K. asks Mauricio which of the wives he thinks is the best dressed, and that is a dangerous little game. P.K. chooses Erika, and I am not surprised. I think he likes her. Or at least likes the way she looks. We know he likes when she doesn’t wear panties, so there is that.

They all sit for dinner, and Erika says she is only going to have one cocktail and see how it goes. I am disappointed. Drunk Erika is also my favorite. Dorit gives a toast to her charity, and Kathy tries to clarify the name and says, “That’s great,” which is what Kathy says when she doesn’t understand or care.

Kyle, always the producer, brings up the recent fight between Sutton and Rinna, when Rinna told Sutton to get the fuck out of her house. If you watch these episodes carefully, as I do, please note that Kyle is ALWAYS the one who brings up a topic that causes trouble. It never fails.

Rinna denies saying exactly that, and says it wasn’t serious. Sutton doesn’t want to discuss it at dinner, so Kyle keeps going and asks Dorit what was said at Rinna’s. Kyle sucks. Garcelle wonders why Kyle keeps bringing it up, and so do I. Next, Kyle is screaming questions across the table at Rinna. I bet the homeless and the toothless don’t behave like this at dinner parties.

Rinna says she was just frustrated, and she is sorry if it was brutal. She tries to tell Sutton what her issues with her are. Rinna is still mad over Sutton saying that she and Harry did not pay for their table at Elton John’s charity event. Talk about champagne problems. This is supposed to be about the homeless. And the toothless.

Rinna thinks Sutton should have apologized to Harry, and Sutton says she texted him. Sutton reads us the text. It even had a kissy, kitty cat face. Rinna starts screaming. She is suddenly the expert on etiquette. Crystal is embarrassed that they behave this way, Dorit wants to reveal her surprise guest, and Rinna is going off the rails in her wig and sparkly gown.

Dorit asks them to put a pin in it. They all agree Kyle started it. Kyle giggles. Kyle is vile. She has seen Rinna try to choke her own sister, and she still pokes that particular bear. Melissa Etheridge appears and sings for the group. I don’t think Kathy knows who she is, but she thinks it’s “great.”

Rinna starts crying and blames her behavior on her mom’s death. I don’t like this. My mom died, and sure, I wasn’t myself again—ever—but I didn’t use it as an excuse to be a major twat waffle. Rinna always has an excuse for running her big mouth. I can’t feel sorry for her, even though her mom seemed like an awesome woman. I feel as though both the homeless and the toothless were lost in the craziness of this event