This week on RHOSLC, the women are still in San Francisco. We start with Day 3 and shots of the women getting up and ready to spend the day on a sailboat. Heather and Whitney go for a walk and Whitney reflects on her time living in the Bay area. She was a young mom at the time, and Justin was traveling a lot, so she shaved her head. As one does.
Whitney feels badly for Bronwyn and how she has been treated on her trip. Whitney just wants to be a friend to her, because she is going through a hard time in her own marriage, and also needs support. She tells Heather that she and Justin are struggling in their marriage. Whitney is not happy in the marriage and they are no longer intimate. She’s even moved into the guest bedroom.
Whitney is nearing 40 and has never been alone. She feels as though Justin raised her, and she wants some clarity in her life. She is still battling what she calls “Mormon” programming, and finds it hard to confront the idea of divorce. Heather feels upset that so many of her friends are having hard times in their marriages right now.
Back at the hotel, Lisa and Quai go over the previous night’s dinner. Lisa says she is over the whole thing. The dinner fight continued into the sprinter van and Britani called Lisa and Meredith schemers, but Lisa is convinced it was Bronwyn that said it, despite the video footage to the contrary. Lisa tells Quai that she just wants to have fun the rest of the trip.
On the sprinter van to the boat, Whitney wears her ball gag and Angie is pretty sure it isn’t the first time she has had balls in her mouth. Oh, Heather reveals that Bronwyn had her boyfriend visit last night, so at least she had a good time. He is also coming to the disco party that night. Angie and Whitney have a bug up their asses about him barging in on their girls’ trip. Lisa is annoyed, too.
They arrive at the sailboat and it looks lovely. I am sure they will fight the entire time, and I am here for it. Angie is worried about getting sea sick again, but she wants to be a good sport about it. I hope we don’t have to watch her puke for the next 35 minutes.
Everyone immediately starts drinking and enjoying the views. Bronwyn tells the women about her own time living in San Francisco, and is exited to introduce them to some of her friends. Angie approaches Lisa to explain why she said Lisa’s lips look like a vagina. Like, she literally uses scientific language. It’s crazy, and then, of course, they start arguing about vulva lips and Lisa says Angie can suck her lips–so there.
We flash back to the night before and Meredith and Lisa talking about a diss track that Meredith is doing. Lisa is VERY confident in her singing voice. I’m not sure she has actually heard herself. Anyhow, these two fifty- something -year old women are gonna make a diss track together and I think it’s pretty ridiculous.
Back on the boat, they see a whale, and that is pretty cool. Bronwyn and Whitney discuss feeling homesick for San Francisco, and Bronwyn says she feels pretty rootless now that she is going through her divorce. Whitney and Bronwyn comfort her. Whitney tells Bronwyn she thinks Bronwyn is brave, and tells us that she relates to Bronwyn’s problems in her marriage and decision to leave Todd.
They all dance a bit and Angie feels like she is going to barf. I hope we don’t have to see it. Oh, shit. There it is. I feel for her, but yuck.
They disembark and head back to the hotel to get ready for Bronwyn’s 70’s Disco party. Brandon, Bronwyn’s boyfriend is there, and will be meeting a couple of the women for the first time. They all get their glam on, except Angie, who is still retching and puking.
At the party, Bronwyn introduces Brandon to some of her San Francisco friends and the other women start to arrive in their 70’s get ups. They are all wearing better wigs than Meredith usually does, and that’s for sure.
Heather brings up Bronwyn saying she “bought” Brandon, and it seems like the women are going to make a whole big thing out of what seemed to be an offhanded joke. I am not sure why this is a thing. Did I miss something?
Meredith and the other women think it’s weird that Brandon is there. Heather says that Bronwyn’s husband, Todd, paid for the whole trip, and for Brandon to be there. Heather is basically saying Bronwyn is being sketchy, and that Brandon is a paid man whore. Meredith thinks it’s fucked up.
Heather calls Angie, who is too sick to leave her room. Lisa tells her to drink some juice. Lol. Dr. Barlow. She has all sorts of advice for Angie, even though Angie has been a bitch to her the whole trip. All of the women start yapping at her, and Angie hangs up on them, which I enjoy.
Heather approaches Brandon and gives him a hard time for being on the girls’ trip. I hate chicks like this. Just let Bronwyn get banged on her trip. Stop being a buzzkill.
Britani tries to flirt with Brandon, and it’s pathetic. She tries to flirt a bit with everyone, but I think she always just looks desperate. I am not a Britani fan.
Bronwyn gives a little speech and I am realizing that this episode is almost over and nothing has really happened besides Angie puking. Hmm. It went quickly, but super uneventful. The women pick apart the details of Bronwyn’s speech and realize that her stories about her past never quite add up. I am sure we will have more on that later.
All of the women are generally pretty nice to Brandon, despite not wanting him there. The poor guy actually apologizes for being there, and I would be so mad if my friends made my boyfriend feel like this.
Meredith and Lisa are getting ready to perform their diss track and I so do not want to see this. I hate when Housewives sing. It’s so uncomfortable.
They call themselves The Glam Kittens and launch into some kind of weird rap about hypocrisy and bullshit, all while dancing. It’s so terribly awful. Whitney wants to shut it down and I wish she would. Heather can’t look away from the disaster. Bronwyn looks mortified. Girl, take your party back. They actually get some applause when done, and I guess people are just being polite.
Bronwyn says she is devastated. Meredith and Lisa try to go over to her and she tells them they are not welcome and they should just go. All of the women back her up, and Bronwyn cries. Meredith tries to defend herself and says it was funny. No one agrees. Bronwyn tells them they are bitches and need to get the fuck out and I love it. She totally shuts them down and kicks them out, which is a long time coming.
Bronwyn apologizes to her guests for the shitty performance, and manages to get a dig in at Britani, so that’s cool.
HOLY SHIT. Lisa and Meredith come back with their microphones and start up their song again. After being kicked out. It’s totally fucked up, and I hate them. Bronwyn decides she is leaving, and I don’t blame her one bit. Whitney has the DJ shut down the sound, and I am still in shock that Meredith and Lisa are such bitches. Even by Housewives standards, this is really bad behavior.
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