Well, we’ve made it to the season finale, and Kelsey has decided that the best way to repair a fractured friend group is to put everyone on a ferry and send them to Block Island.
Because nothing says healing like being trapped on an island with women who have spent the entire summer accusing one another of lying, cheating, meddling, and generally behaving like Rhode Island has a population of twelve people and absolutely no secrets.
Last episode ended with Rulla and Brian’s Arabian Nights party, Liz and Jo-Ellen still at war, and Rosie and Alicia wrestling with whether to reveal the information they have about Brian.
Now it’s time for the season finale. And apparently, we’re getting a fairy tale.
Let’s see how that goes.
Kelsey is organizing the Block Island trip, hoping that a change of scenery will help everyone get along. Liz and Jo-Ellen are still estranged, however, and neither woman seems particularly eager to pretend that Boston never happened.
As the women prepare to leave, Jo-Ellen greets Liz warmly. Liz seems caught off guard by the friendliness, which is understandable considering their last interaction involved a restaurant, a whole lot of hostility, and Liz insisting that she never pulled Jo-Ellen’s hair despite the fact that we all watched it happen.
Jo-Ellen wants to make peace. She describes the friendship as feeling like an abusive relationship at times and compares Liz’s behavior to her mother’s. That’s quite a comparison, and not exactly the sort of thing one usually says while boarding a ferry for a relaxing weekend.
Jo-Ellen also makes it clear that she is willing to go on the trip with Rulla. Her problem isn’t necessarily Rulla anymore. It’s Brian.
And that’s a distinction that will become increasingly important.
Once the group arrives on Block Island, the weather is less than welcoming. It’s cold, the water is choppy, and the whole island is giving us a rather ominous preview of the emotional climate.
Kelsey is hoping that Liz’s love of Block Island will somehow make her more agreeable.
Good luck with that.
Liz and Jo-Ellen finally sit down for a conversation on the beach. Jo-Ellen wants to know whether their friendship is genuine and whether they can get back to a place where they actually trust each other.
Liz says the friendship is real. She believes they both said things they didn’t mean during their arguments and wants to move forward.
Of course, Liz is still upset that Jo-Ellen accused her of getting physical in Boston. She maintains that Jo-Ellen had been touching her and trying to comfort her for hours before the incident, and she seems far more interested in defending her own behavior than acknowledging what happened.
Jo-Ellen, meanwhile, doesn’t want to start their friendship over from scratch. She wants things to go back to how they were before.
The two initially disagree about what reconciliation should look like. Liz wants a fresh start, while Jo-Ellen wants some recognition of the friendship they had before everything went sideways.
But eventually, they reach an agreement.
They hug, Liz tackles Jo-Ellen into the sand, and the reunion quickly turns into some enthusiastic dry humping.
Well. That’s one way to make up.
After all the accusations, the tears, the hair pulling, and the restaurant confrontations, apparently all this friendship needed was a little beach time and some aggressive sand-based affection.
Liz even admits in her confessional that she missed Jo-Ellen.
It’s a surprisingly sweet moment, although I’m going to need to see how long this peace treaty lasts once everyone gets back to Rhode Island.
Meanwhile, Alicia and Billy are preparing for a romantic moment of their own.
Remember Alicia’s complaints about the original proposal? Billy proposed nine years ago when she was heavily pregnant and suffering from bronchitis. She wasn’t feeling particularly glamorous, and the whole experience was hardly the fairy-tale moment she had imagined.
There was no grand gesture, no getting down on one knee, and apparently Alicia was so congested that she needed a fudgsicle.
Not exactly a scene from a romantic comedy.
Alicia has been talking about wanting a proper re-proposal, and Billy has finally decided to do something about it.
Before we get to the romance, though, Alicia is doing what Alicia does best: providing commentary.
As Billy comes out of the water, she watches him with the enthusiasm of a woman who has been married to this man long enough to know exactly what she’s working with.
She remarks that he thinks he’s Baywatch, but points out his big behind and the fact that his pants are always falling down and his crack is hanging out.
Romance is alive and well in the Carmody household.
Alicia’s commentary is completely unfiltered, and honestly, I would happily watch an entire episode of her narrating the activities of the other husbands.
At the hotel, Alicia is already inspecting the décor. She notices the door knockers, which feature a mermaid with her breasts exposed, and naturally has something to say about that.
She also has her usual issue with stairs. Because of an incident when her mother dropped her as a child, Alicia is uncomfortable going down them, so she instructs Billy to go ahead of her.
Billy has arranged a romantic outdoor setting with roses, candles, and two chairs positioned inside a heart. There is a bouquet waiting for Alicia, and the whole thing is considerably more elaborate than their original engagement.
Alicia is genuinely surprised.
The other women are watching and cheering from their hotel rooms, because apparently this is now a live sporting event.
Billy gets down on one knee, although not before making sure he has a napkin to put underneath himself so he doesn’t get grass stains on his pants.
Priorities, Billy.
He takes Alicia’s ring off before proposing again, and there’s a little moment of confusion as she realizes what he’s doing. But he gets through it, and Alicia says yes.
She tells him she feels they are destined to be together and reminds him that plenty of other men would have wanted her.
And honestly, she isn’t wrong about her own appeal.
Billy says it’s time to get married, and Alicia is already imagining the wedding. She wants a white mermaid-style gown, and she’d like her daughter Celina to wear pink.
The woman has gone from wanting a better proposal to planning the wedding before the roses have wilted.
It’s actually a lovely moment. Alicia may be hilarious about Billy’s physical attributes and questionable fashion choices, but she’s clearly touched that he finally gave her the romantic gesture she wanted.
Meanwhile, the other relationship on this trip is considerably less fairy-tale.
Jo-Ellen wants to have a conversation with Rulla about the video evidence concerning Brian. She insists that she isn’t trying to interfere in Rulla’s marriage. She simply wants to give Rulla the information she has.
Rulla, however, doesn’t really want to see it.
She questions whether the video could be fake and whether the timestamp can be trusted. She doesn’t want to put herself through the headache and heartache of watching something that may not be genuine.
Jo-Ellen tries to explain that she is simply delivering the information and that Rulla can decide what to do with it.
Rulla also brings up the way Jo-Ellen handled things during an earlier period when she was seriously ill, including the time the women were at the castle. She feels Jo-Ellen could have approached her differently.
Jo-Ellen gets to say her piece, but Rulla is not exactly welcoming the information with open arms.
Eventually, Jo-Ellen says she is ready to move on and promises not to bring it up again.
But here’s where things get really interesting.
While Jo-Ellen is upstairs talking to Rulla, Gary is downstairs having a conversation with Brian.
Gary is tired of Brian calling his wife a liar. He confronts him directly and wants him to stop accusing Jo-Ellen of making things up.
And Brian suddenly seems a whole lot less confident.
When Gary presses him, Brian backs down and acknowledges that Jo-Ellen wasn’t lying.
Let that sink in.
Jo-Ellen has spent the season being accused of meddling, spreading rumors, and trying to destroy Rulla’s marriage. Meanwhile, Brian is downstairs admitting to Gary that she was telling the truth.
Rulla is upstairs defending her husband while her husband is downstairs confirming the very thing she’s been accused of inventing.
You could not write a more spectacularly uncomfortable scene if you tried.
When Gary tells Jo-Ellen what Brian said, she is stunned. After spending so much time being treated like the villain, Jo-Ellen finally has confirmation that she wasn’t imagining things.
The man she was accused of lying about has now acknowledged the truth to her husband.
That’s quite a season finale development.
Eventually, the group gathers for their final dinner of the season. Alicia shares the news about Billy’s re-proposal, and the women congratulate her.
Kelsey has another little activity planned. Because apparently these women cannot sit down for a meal without someone producing a bowl of questions designed to ruin the evening.
This time, Kelsey passes around clam shells with questions written on them.
It’s a very Rhode Island way to start trouble.
Jared gets a question about something people don’t know about him, and his answer is that he loves Rhode Island.
That’s it. That’s the revelation.
After an entire season of these women arguing, accusing, and exposing one another, Jared loving Rhode Island is not exactly the explosive secret we’ve been waiting for.
The game continues, and Rulla gets a question about who at the table is most likely to smile in her face while stabbing her in the back.
She says that earlier in the summer she might have named Jo-Ellen, but now she feels she is in a better place with everyone.
Rulla gets emotional as she talks about the ups and downs of the group.
Alicia, sensing an opportunity to help, starts trying to broker peace between Rulla and Jo-Ellen.
There’s just one small problem.
Jo-Ellen and Rulla have already had their conversation.
Jo-Ellen looks increasingly annoyed as Alicia tries to arrange a reconciliation that has essentially already happened. She doesn’t particularly appreciate being pushed into another round of peace negotiations.
Rosie also steps in, telling Jo-Ellen that she did nothing wrong and that the person responsible for the situation is sitting right there.
Meaning Brian.
And I love that these women have reached the point where they are perfectly comfortable criticizing Brian directly to his face.
No delicate language. No pretending the problem is a misunderstanding. Just a table full of women who have had enough.
Alicia eventually declares that the whole thing is done, done, done. She wants to put the issue in the ocean and let it drown.
It’s a fitting conclusion to the dinner, although I’m not sure the ocean is large enough to contain all the drama this group has generated.
We also get some updates on the women as the season wraps up.
Rosie and Rich are still together, and Rosie is still happily childfree. Their home is now around 5,000 square feet, so they certainly have room for whatever life brings them.
Kelsey has moved into a new chapter financially and is paying her own rent. She has apparently learned how to write a check, which is a practical skill that we are delighted to see her acquire.
Alicia is moving ahead with Pizza Mamma and has ideas for a cracker line. The woman has business ambitions, romantic ambitions, and enough commentary to keep the entire cast employed.
Ashley and Jared are still connected to Audrey’s, and their future in Rhode Island remains a question.
Liz is still working on the menopause gummy project with Dolores, and her stepdaughter is expecting a baby girl after getting engaged at a gender reveal.
Jo-Ellen is continuing to work on her relationship with her mother and is still in contact with the woman Brian allegedly had an affair with.
And Rulla and Brian?
Well, we aren’t done with them.
Because Bravo has one more surprise for us.
The cameras pick back up approximately one month after filming wrapped, and suddenly we’re getting a very different kind of finale.
Brian has been arrested after Rulla discovered a tracking device on her car.
Rulla had begun to suspect she was being tracked because of comments Brian had made. She took the car to the BMW dealership to have it checked, but the dealership told her that the police would need to handle the situation.
The police became involved, and Brian was arrested on a misdemeanor domestic violence charge related to the tracking incident. Rulla also filed for a no-contact order.
And just like that, the story about the alleged affair has become part of a much bigger and more disturbing situation.
The women gather at Rulla’s home to hear what happened. Rosie, Kelsey, Alicia, and Ashley are there, and they want to understand what Rulla is dealing with.
Rulla explains that Brian had been making comments that caused her to suspect he was tracking her movements. She says she still doesn’t have a clear explanation for why he did it.
She also insists that Brian has never physically hurt her.
The other women are trying to support her while also making sense of what has happened. Rulla seems determined to downplay the situation, suggesting that the media coverage has made it seem worse than it is.
Kelsey asks whether any part of Rulla is now grateful to Jo-Ellen for trying to bring the affair information to her attention.
Rulla is not particularly interested in giving Jo-Ellen that satisfaction.
Even after everything that has happened, she still believes Jo-Ellen handled things incorrectly.
At this point, Jo-Ellen could personally deliver a notarized confession from Brian, and Rulla might still find a reason to be annoyed with the delivery method.
Meanwhile, Jo-Ellen visits Liz, bringing pie and chocolate. She’s in a considerably better mood than we’ve seen her in for much of the season.
She tells Liz that the woman Brian was allegedly having an affair with picked him up from jail.
Yes, the alleged mistress apparently went to collect him.
And Jo-Ellen is understandably feeling vindicated. After months of being accused of lying, she now has Brian’s own admission to Gary and a whole new development involving his arrest.
Rulla may not want to acknowledge that Jo-Ellen was right, but the evidence is getting increasingly difficult to ignore.
The episode ends with Rulla and Brian’s situation still unresolved. The women are heading toward the reunion, where there will undoubtedly be plenty of questions waiting for them.
And that’s our season.
We started with a group of women navigating old friendships, family histories, and the complicated social ecosystem of Rhode Island. We got accusations of affairs, a sugar-daddy situation, a Miss Slam Pig moment, a physical altercation, a Sinatra performance that nearly ended a friendship, and enough relationship drama to keep an entire police department busy.
But the biggest story of the season has been Rulla, Brian, and Jo-Ellen.
Jo-Ellen spent months being portrayed as a meddling troublemaker for trying to expose what she believed was happening in Rulla’s marriage. Brian denied the allegations, Rulla rejected the information, and Jo-Ellen was left defending herself.
Now Brian has acknowledged the truth to Gary, and the post-filming arrest has added an entirely new dimension to the situation.
Meanwhile, Liz and Jo-Ellen have somehow managed to reconcile on a beach after what seemed like an irreparable friendship disaster. Alicia finally got the romantic proposal she wanted, and Kelsey got her cast trip.
Not a bad haul for one season.
The title is “The Ferry-Tale Is Over,” and the fairy tale is certainly over for some of these relationships. Whether the friendships survive the reunion is another question entirely.
Rhode Island, you’ve given us twelve episodes of chaos, and I have to say: for a state this small, you are producing an extraordinary amount of nonsense.
Now bring on the reunion. I have questions.
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