There are reality television moments that become part of history. There are arguments that get replayed for years. And then there is Shereé Whitfield reaching for Kim Zolciak’s wig like she has just discovered the one thing in Atlanta that absolutely must be removed from its owner’s head.
We pick up exactly where the previous episode left us: Kim has stormed out of the restaurant after the disastrous Kim-tervention with Shereé and NeNe. The two women follow her outside, and the argument continues on the street. Kim is already furious, Shereé is already over it, and NeNe is standing in the middle of a situation that has clearly gone beyond anything a lunch reservation can reasonably accommodate.
Then Shereé reaches up and grabs Kim’s hair.
Not a finger wag. Not a little shoulder shove. Not even the traditional Housewives point-and-scream. She goes directly for the weave.
Kim jumps back, immediately adjusting her hair, while Shereé has apparently decided that the appropriate response to a disagreement over who said what about Gregg Leakes is to investigate the structural integrity of another woman’s hairstyle.
And the best part? Shereé later explains that she wasn’t trying to pull Kim’s wig off. She just wanted to shift it a little bit.
A little bit.
This is a remarkable defense. Most people who want to shift something use their hands to move it a few inches. Shereé apparently believes a woman’s hair should be treated like furniture that has been improperly positioned in a room.
Kim is finished with Shereé. Completely. She believes Shereé is angry because of the money she didn’t receive from her divorce settlement with Bob Whitfield, and Shereé insists Kim is lying and needs medication. Meanwhile, NeNe has witnessed the whole thing and is probably reconsidering her career as a mediator.
And, just like that, Atlanta has given us one of the most enduring images in Housewives history. We haven’t even gotten through the opening drama, and somebody’s hair has already become a crime scene.
The next day, Kim is still upset. She calls her friend Jodie, who comes up from Birmingham to comfort her. Jodie explains that she has only heard Kim cry twice: when she got divorced and now. Kim is clearly taking the incident seriously, although the fact that her friend has traveled to provide emotional support over a wig-related altercation makes this a particularly Atlanta form of friendship.
The conversation turns to the accusation that Kim called Gregg broke. Kim insists she would never use the expression “broke-down” to describe someone. She says she might say “broke as hell” or “broke motherfucker,” but apparently the distinction is important.
Well, that clears everything up.
Jodie suggests Kim should try to preserve her friendship with NeNe, especially because NeNe has a close relationship with Kim’s daughter Brielle. Kim may be willing to reconsider NeNe, but Shereé is another matter. There are certain lines in friendship, and apparently one of them is located somewhere around the hairline.
Lisa takes NeNe for a walk, ostensibly to help NeNe with her weight-loss efforts. Naturally, the conversation quickly turns to the wig incident. The two women discuss the fight and make fun of both Kim and Shereé. Lisa has already made her feelings about Kim’s behavior fairly clear, and she isn’t suddenly changing her mind because a little hair has been displaced.
Elsewhere, Kandi is spending time with her daughter Riley and her friend Jing Jing. Kandi invites Jing Jing to Dwight’s upcoming party, and Jing Jing knows Dwight well enough to have a few stories about him. Apparently, Dwight has a habit of bringing wine to doctors’ offices, which is exactly the sort of detail that makes you wonder what kind of social life this man is leading.
Speaking of Dwight, he is preparing for his circus-themed birthday celebration. And Dwight does not do anything halfway. The party involves models being painted up like animals, elaborate entertainment, and a level of preparation that suggests he has appointed himself ringmaster of the entire metropolitan area.
He gives his models instructions and encourages them to bring the drama. He wants a spectacle. He wants a performance. He wants people to remember the evening.
Dwight is not throwing a birthday party. He is producing a traveling circus, and the Housewives are merely the featured attractions.
Meanwhile, Kim is busy with beauty treatments. She has her legs undergoing VelaShape, a procedure intended to improve the appearance of cellulite, and she also gets Botox. The treatment takes time, and Kim complains about being bored while she is having it done.
It’s a quieter look at Kim than the woman we just watched screaming in the street. Her relationship with Big Poppa has ended, and she seems to be trying to maintain the lifestyle and image she has cultivated even as that relationship changes. The whole business of being Kim Zolciak is apparently a full-time production.
Lisa, meanwhile, is pursuing her fashion ambitions. She and Ed meet with a design team to discuss her clothing line, Closet Freak. Lisa is taking steps toward turning the idea into an actual business, and she is bringing in people who can help her develop the collection.
Shereé has opinions about this, naturally. She questions whether Lisa can really call herself a designer if someone else is doing the actual designing. This is particularly interesting coming from Shereé, whose own fashion ambitions involve selecting details such as buttons and overseeing the overall look.
Lisa is understandably confused by the criticism. If having a team help develop a clothing line disqualifies someone from being a designer, Shereé might want to reconsider the arrangements behind her own fashion project.
The Atlanta fashion industry is apparently a very small place, and everybody is keeping score.
Shereé also has her friend Tania around, and Tania is enthusiastic about Shereé’s fashion sense and her She by Shereé ambitions. She is also quite eager to establish herself among the Housewives. Tania doesn’t exactly ease into the group. She arrives with opinions about everybody’s appearance and seems determined to make an impression before anyone has had a chance to finish a drink.
At Shereé’s gathering, Tania starts taking shots at NeNe’s weight and Lisa’s hair. She even compares Lisa’s hairstyle to the kind of hair that belongs in a swimming pool.
It’s an aggressive introduction. These women have enough history and unresolved disagreements without a newcomer arriving like she has been hired to conduct a surprise inspection of everybody’s appearance.
Lisa and NeNe eventually decide they aren’t going to sit there and absorb the insults. They leave, regroup, and return with a different attitude. It’s a small but satisfying reminder that sometimes the best response to someone who wants an audience is to deny them one.
Kandi, meanwhile, is working on her music career and meets with T-Boz from TLC. This is an especially interesting connection because Kandi is trying to build her own musical identity while talking with someone who has already experienced enormous success in the industry.
T-Boz asks about Kandi’s personal life, including her relationship with A.J. and the complications that come with dating a man who has six children with four different women. T-Boz is not exactly enthusiastic about the prospect of navigating that many baby-mama relationships.
And honestly, it’s a fair question. Kandi has a lot of ambition, a lot of responsibilities, and a romantic relationship that comes with an entire extended family attached.
Kandi is trying to move forward with her career, but the personal side of her life is not exactly uncomplicated.
Then there’s Dwight’s birthday extravaganza, where the Housewives gather for an evening of painted bodies, costumes, and Dwight being Dwight. NeNe brings Shereé along, and Shereé is introduced to Kandi.
The introduction is a little awkward because Shereé acts as though she and Kandi have never met, despite having crossed paths before. It’s a curious little social performance, and NeNe seems to notice something isn’t quite right.
Dwight, meanwhile, greets Kandi with his usual enthusiasm. He examines her from head to toe, pays particular attention to her figure, and makes her somewhat uncomfortable with his hands-on approach. Dwight’s enthusiasm for the female form is apparently not limited to the models he has hired for his circus.
Kandi takes it in stride, but there is only so much of Dwight’s personal inspection anyone can reasonably enjoy.
And through all of this, the wig incident remains the elephant in the room. Or perhaps the elephant in the beauty salon.
Kim is still furious. Shereé is still defending herself. NeNe is still caught between two women who seem to believe that every disagreement must become a public event. And somewhere, Kim’s hair is presumably recovering from its most traumatic afternoon since the last time she had it installed.
The episode is called “Unbeweavable,” and for once, the title is doing exactly what it promises.
Shereé says she only wanted to shift the wig. Kim says the friendship is over. NeNe has witnessed the whole thing. And Atlanta has officially entered the era in which a hairstyle can become a central character in a season-long storyline.
The circus may belong to Dwight, but the real sideshow is happening between Shereé and Kim.
And we are absolutely not done talking about that wig.
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