The Atlanta ladies have gathered for the Season 3 reunion, which means six women, one Andy Cohen, approximately seventeen unresolved arguments, and enough accumulated resentment to power the Georgia electrical grid.
NeNe, Kim, Shereé, Kandi, Cynthia, and Phaedra take their places on the reunion couch, dressed for the occasion and prepared to explain why absolutely everything that happened this season was somebody else’s fault.
Andy Cohen is back in his natural habitat: sitting between women who would rather be anywhere else than answering his questions honestly.
And we’re off.
The first order of business is getting everyone reacquainted with the season’s greatest hits. There has been marriage trouble, musical ambition, questionable business arrangements, pregnancy mysteries, and enough friendship breakdowns to make a group project look like a functioning democracy.
NeNe has certainly had a season. Her marriage to Gregg has been through the wringer, her friendship with Kim has experienced more plot twists than a daytime soap opera, and her relationship with just about everybody else remains dependent on the weather and her mood.
Kim, meanwhile, has been busy pursuing her musical career, which has involved a great deal of hair, promotional appearances, and an increasingly complicated relationship with the people actually responsible for making her music happen.
Andy turns his attention to NeNe and Kim, whose friendship has been one of the season’s central attractions.
Remember when these two were getting along? It seems like approximately forty-seven years ago.
NeNe has plenty to say about Kim, and Kim has plenty to say about NeNe. Their friendship has become an exercise in mutual grievance, with each woman seemingly convinced that the other has committed the greater offense.
The problem is that both women have extraordinarily strong opinions about what friendship is supposed to look like, and neither seems particularly interested in applying those standards to herself.
NeNe is especially unimpressed with Kim’s behavior. Kim, for her part, isn’t about to sit quietly while NeNe delivers a lecture.
The reunion gives us another opportunity to watch these two women attempt to establish who was the better friend, which is a little like watching two people argue over who left the bigger mess in a burning building.
Andy also gets into the subject of Kim’s romantic life, which has become a substantial storyline of its own. Kim has moved on from the Big Poppa era and is now involved with football player Kroy Biermann.
The relationship has certainly attracted attention, and Kim is happy to discuss her new man. For once, she seems considerably more enthusiastic about something than she was about learning a new song.
NeNe’s attention then shifts toward Phaedra.
And Phaedra, naturally, is not going to make this particularly easy.
The ladies revisit the questions surrounding Phaedra’s pregnancy and the timeline of her son’s birth. This has been one of the season’s strangest recurring storylines, largely because Phaedra has maintained an impressive level of composure while everybody else attempts to calculate the dates.
Phaedra has been remarkably consistent in presenting herself as a woman who has everything under control. She is an attorney, a new mother, a wife, and a Southern belle with an apparent lifetime supply of perfectly timed expressions.
But the other women have questions.
NeNe has no intention of keeping hers to herself.
Phaedra finds herself defending her personal business while the other ladies continue to scrutinize the details. The pregnancy timeline has become practically a group research project, except nobody has agreed on the grading rubric.
Phaedra’s ability to remain composed while being questioned is impressive. Whether the other women are satisfied with the answers is another matter entirely.
Andy moves the conversation along, and the reunion continues to revisit the season’s more controversial moments.
Kim and Kandi’s professional relationship gets its turn under the microscope. Their collaboration on music has been one of the season’s most frustrating partnerships, particularly for Kandi, who has actual musical experience and appears to have discovered that producing a song for Kim requires the patience of a saint and the negotiating skills of an international diplomat.
The financial arrangements and disagreements surrounding their work together have not exactly strengthened their friendship.
Kandi has been trying to make a legitimate musical product. Kim has been trying to become a country music sensation. Somewhere in between, the two women have managed to turn a recording collaboration into a full-scale relationship crisis.
The reunion also revisits the ladies’ various rumors and accusations, giving everyone another opportunity to clarify what was said, what was meant, and what somebody supposedly heard from somebody who was there.
In other words, the usual Atlanta investigative journalism department is open for business.
There is also a discussion of race relations, another subject that brings a different kind of tension to the couch. The ladies revisit comments and situations from the season, and the conversation gets uncomfortable as they try to explain their perspectives.
Not every disagreement can be settled by simply talking louder, although that has certainly never stopped this group from trying.
Andy also gets into the women’s physical attributes and the subject of their assets. The ladies discuss their figures, their appearances, and the various advantages of being genetically blessed and financially motivated.
It’s a reunion, after all. We can’t spend the entire hour discussing emotional growth. Somebody has to talk about somebody’s backside.
The conversation also turns to the possibility of giving a whippin’, because apparently the ladies have not exhausted every possible topic involving confrontation.
And then there’s NeNe’s father.
The reunion touches on the update surrounding her family, giving NeNe an opportunity to discuss something considerably more personal than her ongoing feud with Kim.
For all the noise surrounding her relationships with the other women, NeNe’s family situation has been an important part of her story this season.
The reunion isn’t finished with the ladies, however. There are still plenty of unresolved issues, and the first installment leaves the group with more to discuss.
Cynthia’s wedding, Shereé’s acting ambitions, Kandi’s musical frustrations, Phaedra’s pregnancy questions, and Kim’s new romance have all contributed to a season that has somehow managed to contain both a wedding and a full-scale musical industry implosion.
The women have spent the season competing for attention, defending their decisions, questioning each other’s motives, and occasionally remembering that they are supposed to be friends.
Now they’re all sitting together, dressed beautifully, looking directly at Andy, and insisting that their version of events is the correct one.
Atlanta, ladies and gentlemen.
The reunion is only halfway over, and nobody appears remotely interested in making peace.
To be continued…
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