Welcome to Season 16, Episode 10, where the women gather for an evening of comedy and somehow manage to produce considerably more drama than laughter. Daisy is caught between Erika and Sai, Erin is still apparently discussing Pavit, Hailey is contemplating a major change in her life, and Jessel and Pavit are about to discover that marriage counseling can begin with a very uncomfortable list of complaints.
We begin with the women attending a comedy show, which is apparently sponsored by Bilt Rewards. The comedians have been given material about the ladies and their various personal disasters, which is a dangerous decision when your audience consists of women who already believe everybody is talking about them.
The jokes are not exactly setting the room on fire.
Sai gets a little divorce-related wordplay, becoming “Sai De-Vorced,” which is the kind of joke that probably sounded better in a meeting than it did when somebody actually said it out loud. There are jokes about popcorn ceilings, which is apparently where comedy goes when it has nowhere else to go, and a reference to Erin’s husband Abe being hit on at the gym.
Unfortunately, the comedian seems to have confused Abe with Pavit. It is Jessel’s husband who has become the subject of the gym rumors, and the distinction is rather important when the rumor mill has already been running for most of the season.
Carole, meanwhile, gets one of the more entertaining moments of the evening when the subject of her resemblance to Steven Tyler comes up. The resemblance is apparently striking enough that the two have been photographed together, and Carole explains that she spent time around the Aerosmith frontman years ago when she was dating the band’s keyboardist.
This is a much more interesting celebrity connection than anything happening onstage. Carole has a genuinely amusing story, and for once the comedy show has provided something worth talking about.
But the real entertainment begins after the performance, when the conversation turns back to Pavit.
The rumor about Jessel’s husband has been circulating for some time, and Jessel is becoming increasingly frustrated by the fact that it refuses to die. She has already told Pavit about the gossip, and now she learns that Erin and Daisy have apparently been discussing it with Dr. Dan Belkin, the dermatologist who has become an unlikely recurring character in this season’s social warfare.
The conversation allegedly took place at the Paw Patrol benefit attended by Erin and Daisy. Dr. Belkin heard them discussing the rumor and subsequently contacted Jessel, making sure she knew that her friends were talking about her husband.
And now Jessel wants answers.
She confronts Erin and Daisy about the discussion, but both women deny having talked about Pavit in the way Jessel describes. This is a particularly awkward position to take when the cameras have recorded the conversation. The footage exists. The footage has been filmed. The footage is sitting somewhere in Bravo’s editing department, waiting patiently for somebody to insist that something never happened.
Erin’s refusal to acknowledge the conversation is especially frustrating because this is not a situation in which nobody can establish what was said. The evidence is going to be available to everyone watching at home.
Daisy is also caught up in the denial, and Jessel is left feeling that once again the women are discussing her marriage behind her back while pretending that nothing has happened.
The problem is not simply that somebody has repeated a rumor. It is that Jessel is beginning to feel that her marriage has become a group project, with every woman in the cast apparently entitled to contribute an opinion.
Meanwhile, Daisy has her own problem with Erika.
The two women have a friendship that predates the show. They were connected through their mutual friend Martha Stewart, and Daisy apparently believed that relationship meant something. But things have deteriorated, particularly after Erika dismissed Daisy and Erin as haters and made comments suggesting that Daisy’s lifestyle was connected more to her famous friendship than to her own resources.
Daisy feels that she offered Erika support during filming and has been repaid with disrespect.
The immediate source of the conflict is Erika’s birthday party. Daisy says she was not invited, while Erika insists that she was.
Erika is prepared to produce a receipt.
And by receipt, she means a phone call.
Erika scrolls through her phone and points to a call that she says was when she invited Daisy. She seems to consider the matter settled. Daisy, however, is not convinced that a phone call proves an invitation was actually extended.
And honestly, there is a difference between calling someone and inviting someone to a party. A phone call could be about absolutely anything. It could be an invitation, a conversation about lunch, a discussion about the weather, or a lengthy explanation of why somebody has decided to stop speaking to you.
Daisy points out that Erika could have sent a text. Erika explains that Daisy had previously told her not to put certain information in writing.
Daisy says that instruction was about talking badly about other people, not about invitations.
Which is a rather important distinction. If you’re inviting someone to a birthday party, a written message is useful. It gives the person a date, a time, and an address. It also provides something more substantial than a phone log when the question of whether an invitation was ever extended becomes a Housewives storyline.
Erika maintains that she did invite Daisy. Daisy maintains that she did not receive an invitation.
And now the two women are arguing over the social equivalent of a missing delivery confirmation.
The conversation continues, and Daisy begins to wonder whether the lack of an invitation might have something to do with her criticism of the Moskito Island trip. Perhaps Erika was offended by what Daisy said about the vacation. Perhaps Ankur doesn’t particularly like her. Daisy even suggests that Erika behaves differently when her husband is around.
Erika is not interested in that suggestion.
She makes it clear that she is the one making decisions in her relationship and that Ankur is not secretly managing her guest list. Daisy, however, is clearly hurt and seems determined to find an explanation for why she was excluded.
The problem is that she is moving from questioning an invitation to questioning Erika’s marriage, and that is a much bigger accusation.
The next day, Erika sends Daisy a text message while Daisy is on the Brooklyn Bridge. Erika says Daisy was clearly misremembering what happened and that she had been rude. She even suggests that Daisy might benefit from Prevagen, a supplement marketed for memory.
It is a pointed little dig, and Erika seems pleased with herself.
Daisy is not going to take it particularly well.
The entire dispute has become a question of who remembers what, who said what, and whether an invitation can be established by a phone call that nobody else witnessed. Somewhere in the middle of all this, a birthday party has become a matter of historical documentation.
And Daisy is not finished.
Her other major conflict is with Sai, and this one is considerably more personal.
The two women are still dealing with the fallout from Erin’s party, where Sai was shouting Carole’s name across the room. Daisy has concerns about the way Sai interacts with people and believes she would benefit from making more of an effort to maintain friendships within the group.
Daisy sees herself as trying to help. She thinks Sai can be abrasive, that she sometimes alienates people unnecessarily, and that a little diplomacy might make her life easier.
Sai sees things differently.
She believes in being direct and authentic. She does not want to soften her opinions simply to make other people comfortable, and she feels that Daisy’s attempts to manage her behavior are controlling.
This is where the disagreement becomes more complicated than a simple argument about who was rude at a party.
Daisy believes that relationships require some accommodation. Sai believes that accommodation can become dishonesty. Daisy thinks she is protecting her friend from unnecessary conflict. Sai thinks Daisy is criticizing her for being herself.
Sai also accuses Daisy of being fake, suggesting that she changes her opinions depending on who she is talking to because she wants everyone to like her.
Daisy is understandably confused by this characterization. She points out that Sai has also accused her of being a hater because she complains about things. So which is it? Is she fake because she withholds her opinions, or is she a hater because she expresses them?
Those are two different accusations, and Daisy wants Sai to acknowledge the contradiction.
But Sai is not backing down.
She believes Daisy complains constantly while simultaneously trying to maintain the image of someone who gets along with everyone. Daisy believes she is simply trying to keep the peace and help her friend avoid unnecessary problems.
Neither woman seems capable of accepting that the other might have a legitimate point.
Eventually, Daisy gets fed up and walks out.
It is a particularly unfortunate development because these two women have known each other for more than twenty years. Their friendship predates the Housewives cameras, the parties, the confessionals, and the endless group conversations about who was invited to what.
That history makes the disagreement more significant. Daisy is not simply another woman in the cast whose behavior Sai dislikes. She is someone who has been part of her life for decades.
But longtime friendships do not necessarily survive the transition into a television ensemble, particularly when one person believes she is helping and the other believes she is being judged.
Meanwhile, Erin and Abe are dealing with some financial complications of their own.
Their business situation is creating stress, particularly as they deal with the costs of renovating their Hamptons home. The renovations are expensive, and Erin and Abe are concerned about the impact on their finances and the possibility of having trouble making payroll.
The business involves Mezcalum, which they describe as the first mezcal brand in America, and the financial pressure is clearly weighing on them.
It is a difficult situation, although the prospect of financial hardship while renovating a Hamptons mansion is perhaps not going to generate an enormous amount of sympathy from every viewer.
Still, Erin and Abe are dealing with real concerns about their business, their home, and their financial commitments. Their situation is another reminder that behind the social events and expensive vacations, the women have actual lives and responsibilities that do not disappear when the cameras arrive.
Hailey, meanwhile, goes shopping with Sai.
Hailey provides some welcome comic relief, arriving in a cowboy hat that still has cardboard inside it and wearing under-eye patches as though she has decided that shopping is also an opportunity to complete her skincare routine.
She looks like somebody who has wandered into the store halfway through getting ready and simply decided to continue with her day.
But the conversation becomes more serious when Hailey discusses her marriage.
She admits that she is unsure whether she wants to remain married and is contemplating a major change in her life. Hailey has spent much of the season expressing uncertainty about her circumstances and feeling somewhat confined by the direction her life has taken.
Now she is beginning to consider what she actually wants.
We have not seen much of her husband or their relationship, so it is difficult to understand the full extent of the problem. But Hailey is clearly thinking seriously about whether her current situation is making her happy.
It is a significant conversation, even if the audience has not yet been given enough background to understand exactly where she will go from here.
And then we arrive at the final scene, which is easily the most interesting relationship conversation of the episode.
Jessel and Pavit meet for lunch and attempt an exercise recommended by Devyn. The assignment is simple in theory: each person writes down the things that annoy them about the other.
Simple in theory.
In practice, this is the sort of exercise that can turn a perfectly pleasant lunch into an archaeological excavation of every unresolved marital grievance since the wedding.
Jessel’s list is not exactly light reading.
She feels that Pavit is not aggressive enough, that he does not take sufficient care of his health, that he struggles to connect with his emotions, and that he sometimes seems to despise her. She also feels that he has difficulty communicating and that she is not getting the emotional connection she wants from him.
These are not complaints about leaving socks on the floor.
These are serious concerns about the state of their marriage.
Pavit’s list, by comparison, is considerably more practical. He mentions the dishwasher, Jessel’s snoring, and her tendency to scream.
The dishwasher makes an appearance, because apparently no marriage is complete without a dispute over who is supposed to load it.
But the more revealing part of the conversation is the difference between what each of them considers a problem.
Jessel is talking about emotional intimacy, communication, affection, and the feeling that her husband is not connecting with her. Pavit is talking about household habits and the volume of her voice.
When Jessel becomes more emphatic, Pavit characterizes her tone as screaming. Jessel does not necessarily agree that expressing frustration at a normal volume should be considered a full-scale vocal emergency.
And this is where the disconnect becomes apparent.
Jessel wants Pavit to engage with her emotionally. She wants him to be more expressive, more attentive, and more willing to talk about what is happening between them. Pavit seems much more comfortable responding with sarcasm or a joke than sitting in the uncomfortable parts of the conversation.
His humor may be a way of keeping things light, but it also makes it difficult for Jessel to feel that he is taking her concerns seriously.
The irony is that the two clearly care about each other. There is affection underneath the frustration, and neither seems entirely ready to give up on the relationship.
But loving someone and knowing how to communicate with them are two different skills.
Jessel is asking for more emotional presence. Pavit is apparently asking for a quieter wife and a better dishwasher routine.
One of these lists is considerably more likely to require a follow-up appointment.
The episode leaves us with several relationships in varying stages of deterioration. Daisy has managed to fall out with both Erika and Sai, Erin is still trying to explain away her involvement in the Pavit rumors, Jessel is increasingly frustrated with the way her marriage is being discussed, and Hailey is considering whether her marriage is still where she wants to be.
Sai, meanwhile, is questioning whether a friendship of more than twenty years can survive the fact that she and Daisy have fundamentally different ideas about how people should behave.
And the comedy show?
Well, it may not have produced many laughs, but it certainly provided the setting for an entire evening of arguments.
The women came for comedy. They left with accusations, disputed invitations, marital grievances, and another round of the Pavit rumor investigation.
The biggest joke of the evening may be that anybody thought a group of Housewives could attend a comedy show without turning themselves into the entertainment.
And somewhere, a dishwasher is still waiting to be loaded.
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