After an entire season of the women refusing to film with Danielle, most of the cast is finally together at the Posche fashion show, an event that has become practically synonymous with early Jersey drama.
Teresa insists on saying hello to Danielle, so she and Jacqueline wait for her in the hallway of the country club. Teresa explains that she wanted to say hello because Danielle is a sweet and nice person.
Danielle says she really doesn’t know Teresa that way.
Fair.
Teresa says that’s Danielle’s fault for getting her mad and calls her “honey.” Danielle tells her not to call her honey, and Teresa asks if “bitch” is better.
LMAO.
Then Teresa gets up and does some bizarre Paterson tough-girl dance to demonstrate just how tough she is. I don’t know what that was, but I suspect it was supposed to be intimidating.
Then Danielle mentions that Teresa’s house is in foreclosure.
Oh, boy.
Teresa is MAD.
She takes off after Danielle, with Jacqueline right behind her. Suddenly, we have a full-scale chase through the country club. People are running. Things are being knocked over. The cameras can barely keep up.
And Teresa is FAST.
Danielle’s heel breaks, and she ends up outside, waiting for someone to carry her to the car. But before she can make her escape, Ashley, Jacqueline’s daughter, comes running after her.
Danielle is being carried away from the women who are chasing her, Kim G. is trying to calm her down, and Ashley runs over, grabs a clump of Danielle’s hair and screams:
“Love and light, bitch!”
It is completely insane.
And, believe it or not, Teresa just keeps running. She is STILL chasing Danielle.
Ashley, meanwhile, is very proud of herself for pulling someone’s hair.
Um, honey, that’s assault.
Even when the hair isn’t real.
Teresa promises Kim G.’s bodyguard that she won’t hit anyone and that she just wants to “talk to the bitch.”
This is not particularly reassuring.
Jacqueline tries to get Teresa to leave, while Danielle is absolutely FREAKING OUT in the car. She wants to leave. She wants to call the police. She wants her extensions back.
Priorities.
Now Jacqueline and Ashley are fighting, and Ashley is still proudly announcing that she pulled Danielle’s hair. Perhaps she should stop giving the police a detailed account of what she just did before they arrive.
Danielle wants everyone arrested. She calls 911, and let’s just say the cops seem pretty familiar with her.
Jacqueline is still standing outside the car like some kind of terrifying suburban sasquatch.
Kim G. wants to leave. She came looking for drama, but apparently even Kim G. has a limit, and this is too much for her.
Kim D. is shocked. The Kims are all up in arms. And Ashley is still proudly telling everyone that she pulled Danielle’s hair.
I am begging this girl to stop talking before the police get there.
She is not bright.
Four cop cars show up, and once again, the police seem to know Danielle. Apparently, they have received a lot of calls from her.
A lot of people chase her and throw tables at her. I wonder if it has anything to do with the company she keeps?
The cops call Jacqueline over to talk, which, to me, seems insane. Don’t they usually separate people when there has been an altercation? Putting Jacqueline and Danielle together is a nightmare waiting to happen.
They must be new to the job.
Or new to the show.
Ashley admits that she pulled Danielle’s hair—or extensions—because she heard that Danielle hit Jacqueline.
Um.
This is new.
And a lie.
Teresa, meanwhile, clearly has some experience playing dumb with the police. She keeps saying “What?” and resisting giving up her license so she can make a statement. Somehow, she has suddenly developed a severe case of selective comprehension.
Danielle is still in the back of the car and still crying.
The cops let Ashley go for now. If Danielle decides to press charges, she can.
And why wouldn’t she?
If these women are right that Danielle is out to get them, they just handed her a gigantic gift wrapped in hair extensions.
The next day, we’re at Caroline’s house, where Teresa and Jacqueline go over to fill her in on everything that happened.
Teresa sums up the entire situation by saying:
“I called her honey and she flipped out!”
LMAO.
That is certainly one way to describe it.
Ugh, I can barely understand anything Caroline is saying. Does she have marbles in her mouth?
Meanwhile, Danielle is telling her creepy mobster-wannabe boyfriend, Danny, all about her attack.
Danny tells Danielle that she can’t live like this and that he has her back.
Dude is like a five-foot-two brunette Marty McFly.
What exactly is he going to do?
Strangle somebody with his wife beater?
I don’t even want to know.
Meanwhile, Albie and Caroline visit a lawyer to discuss Albie being expelled from law school. He has to wait two years to reapply, and apparently the school does not want him back.
Caroline and Albie claim that the whole thing happened because his accommodations weren’t being met.
Because apparently the entire world is supposed to accommodate the Manzos.
I can’t with these people.
My husband is an attorney, and I’m sorry, but for someone to be expelled from law school and told they have to wait two years to reapply, something went wrong. I don’t care what Caroline says.
And here’s the thing: we have the benefit of hindsight.
Albie never returns to law school.
The proof is in the pudding.
He didn’t cut it in law school.
The end.
Danielle’s energist calls Jacqueline to try and cleanse her over the phone. This is some weird shit, and Jacqueline is not feeling it. She needs to be cleansed of Danielle. Period.
Teresa gives Joe Giudice the lowdown on the throwdown while showing him her “cleavelage.” He does seem mildly aroused, but mostly by the description of the fight.
Chris Laurita and Jacqueline try to talk to Ashley, who is completely unfazed that she assaulted someone and may be facing serious criminal charges.
Ashley generally seems unconcerned with most things.
She drives me crazy.
And then we’re back with the Manzos, and I am bored.
Danielle meets Kim G. at a diner, which is very Jersey. Danielle wants to press charges. I don’t blame her, and Kim G. tells her to do what she has to do.
Apparently, Ashley posted that the fashion show was “ubeweavable.”
Oh, dear.
That may be the most clever Ashley has ever been.
Also, Danielle eats French fries oddly.
But I digress.
I remember when this episode originally aired and the blogs were absolutely buzzing about the huge fight at the Posche fashion show. There had been so much buildup and speculation about what had happened that you wondered whether the actual episode could possibly live up to the hype.
It did not disappoint.
The Posche fight is a classic early Jersey artifact: completely chaotic, deeply ridiculous, and somehow even more entertaining all these years later.
Leave a Reply