We start at Kim’s. Kyle is crying. Again. Kim wants her to meet her boyfriend, Ken, and Kyle is big scared. The guy does seem a little odd, but that might just be the benefit of hindsight. Kyle notices each of them are wearing wedding bands. Oh, my. Kyle is crying and blaming it on her allergies. These sisters need a break from each other.
Kyle tells us she wants her sister to be happy but that Kim’s kids say Ken is very controlling. An understandable concern. Kim feels like she is finally doing something for herself. We know the next few years of her life will be a roller coaster of fights, rehab, and arrests, and it’s sad to see her so hopeful.
Adrienne and Paul head out to dinner, and it’s a private room that is completely unromantic because the two of them are, well, completely unromantic. They bicker. I am bored.
Adrienne is concerned about Taylor. Her marriage with Russell is very physical, and not in the sexy way. Paul and Adrienne both keep their distance from Russell, but they agree they have never seen any proof of abuse beyond what Taylor tells them. Worse, Taylor will confide terrible stories to them, and then the next day pretend like everything is fine. No one knows what to believe, and this will be the theme for the episode, if not the season.
Kyle and Mauricio are at their old house, still married, and it’s also sad to see. Kyle expresses her anxiety over Kim moving in with Ken. Mauricio seems like he is wondering how much this will cost him. Or maybe he is just stoned. Good for him.
We finally see Taylor, and she is preparing to receive an award for Women in Business. Russell seems kind and supportive, and it just doesn’t fit with everything else we have been hearing, but who knows? Abusers make great liars.
All of the women are there to celebrate Taylor, except Lisa Vanderpump, who was excluded. Kyle accidentally lets this cat out of the bag when Lisa calls her and Kyle says she is on the way into the event and will see her in a second. Lisa, meanwhile, is at home and has no idea about the event. Big oops, Kyle. Unless, of course, production put you up to it.
The next day is Lisa’s tea party, and I want to go! It looks magical. She has invited everyone, including Taylor. The women start to arrive in a parade of Bentleys and Mercedes. Camille is going through a custody battle with Kelsey Grammer, and Lisa expresses her support for her. Things seem to be off to a smooth, friendly start.
Lisa says she has gotten another e-mail from Russell trying to “set the record straight” on his marriage. The other women received a similar e-mail, and they are uncomfortable. Taylor arrives, and Lisa treats her nicely despite being excluded the day before.
They discuss Kim and her new boyfriend for a while. Kyle needs to accept that she is not Kim’s mom and let it go.
Kim can’t make the tea party. This is no surprise. Lisa brings up Taylor’s event and it is awkward. Lisa wants to know why she was excluded.
Lisa questions Taylor, and Taylor says Lisa has made it clear she is not her friend. Lisa wants the other women, especially Kyle, to have her back. Lisa asks why Taylor is even there if they are not friends.
Taylor seems desperate for Lisa’s friendship but is going about getting it by excluding and insulting her. Taylor polls the room on who thinks Lisa is a good friend and who thinks she has a big ego. Kyle does not have Lisa’s back and instead pokes holes in what she is saying, and you can see Lisa steaming beneath the eyelashes and diamonds.
Taylor accuses Lisa of stirring the pot while Taylor is going through a tough time. Taylor is kinda going nuts on the hostess in her own home. It’s remarkably rude. Taylor doesn’t seem well.
She sobs, telling Lisa, “If you can’t be my friend, just please don’t be my enemy,” because her life is hard enough as it is. Everyone seems to know what she is referencing but stays mostly silent.
Taylor acts like she is going to leave, and maybe she should.
The women talk Taylor into staying. Lisa is confused. Taylor brings a lot of drama. This girl is seriously frayed and insecure. Lisa says she has only tried to help her because she is scared for her, and Taylor starts digging about why. She might want to zip it if she is looking to keep her secrets private.
Lisa says she has a hard time getting close to Taylor but will be there for her if she needs her. The women attack her for saying it wrong while ignoring the much larger issue sitting in the room: What is going on with Taylor?
Taylor feels like Lisa speaks down to her, and it’s probably true. It’s a British thing. Go with it.
Taylor is breaking down. Again. She doesn’t know who she is and says she needs help. They are all talking around the issue. Camille says it seems like Taylor is on a mission, and Taylor demands that everyone be honest. She tells Lisa that everyone else is talking about her. Huge gauntlet dropped.
Suddenly, the conversation is about Lisa’s ego and screensaver, and everyone agrees she has a big ego. Kyle says it, and Lisa is shocked. And mad. Lisa starts to end the party, saying things have gotten too bitchy for her.
Taylor again says she is leaving. Nobody is being honest. In an odd turn of events, Paul is hanging out by the front gates, and Taylor tells him more shit about Lisa before going back into the tea party. Lisa doesn’t feel defended or supported.
If I were Lisa, I would kick these bitches out of my house and eat all my tea cakes while floating naked in my fabulous pool. Eff ’em.
All of the women agree they don’t know what to believe when it comes to Taylor. Adrienne is especially vocal about finding the whole situation confusing. Camille shares that Taylor spent three hours telling her that her marriage was over, and then left smiling for vacation with Russell. No one knows the truth because there have been too many mixed messages.
Then Lisa drops the bomb.
“I am talking about saying your husband abuses you.”
Oh, shit.
Taylor came here for a Tea Party Takedown of Lisa, and she is about to get served.
These women don’t believe her, and they are uncomfortable with her. Period. She has put them all in a terrible situation.
Taylor tries to call Camille out on being two-faced, and Camille cautions her to be careful what she says because they are all trying to protect her.
Taylor demands that Camille continue and asks what they are protecting her from.
Here it comes.
Camille, practically shaking with anger, says, “We have all been protecting you. We don’t say that he hits you, but now we’ve said it.”
All of the women look like a bomb has just gone off.
No one really knows what to say next, and Taylor looks satisfied and scared at the same time.
This is about to kick off some battles of Jurassic proportions and remains one of the defining moments of Season 2.
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