We open with Day 3 on the yacht, and the crew is preparing for the guests to have breakfast and yoga. It’s their last day on the boat, and everyone is hoping for a good one since pretty much every other day has been a complete shit show.
Heather just wants to see Captain Jason’s downward dog, which seems like a perfectly reasonable goal.
Britani is still feeling like everyone has piled on her the entire trip. We immediately cut to Meredith doing exactly that, calling Britani disgusting and an idiot. Meredith also isn’t particularly happy with Whitney.
Heather thinks Britani should be prepared for a mountain of shit after telling Meredith that Seth has a mistress. And apparently, the punishment is going to involve a unicorn.
The unicorn makes another appearance when Bronwyn steals it from Britani’s room and delivers it to Meredith. They decide that the poor unicorn is an appropriate sacrifice for all of Britani’s bad behavior.
Honestly, that unicorn has been through enough.
They don Bronwyn’s inflatable costumes and make their way to the deck, where they throw the poor sucker into the ocean.
It’s only 9:42 a.m., and this day is already off to quite a start.
The ladies sit down for breakfast, and Lisa immediately needs Advil. Britani plants her ass right next to Meredith, which seems like a terrible decision considering Meredith currently wants nothing to do with her.
Whitney asks everyone if they are tired and is met with complete silence. I guess the answer is yes.
Meredith and Britani start going at it, and then Meredith turns her attention to Whitney for not telling her about the Seth/TikTok video. Whitney apologizes, and Meredith accepts this by turning her back to Britani and pretending she doesn’t exist.
Meredith is twelve.
The crew says these women are the loudest people they have ever met, which seems like a pretty impressive accomplishment considering the number of people they have probably encountered on yachts.
Meredith tells the women that if they support Britani, she is done with all of them, and Heather gets pissed.
Bronwyn asks Mary to chime in “as a woman of God.” Mary wants absolutely no part of this. This is above her pay grade.
The women leave breakfast and start packing up. Britani can’t find her unicorn, which is becoming a much bigger problem than anyone could have anticipated.
They disembark and thank the crew, all of whom look like they have been through a war.
And, in a way, they have.
Just as everyone is leaving, one of the crew members comes running over with something.
Holy shit. It’s the unicorn.
It’s soaking wet, and Britani immediately wants to know why.
No one says a word.
Finally, Bronwyn and Meredith admit that they threw the unicorn into the water. They insist it was a joke but it was pretty damn mean.
Poor unicorn. It didn’t ask for any of this.
Next, we learn that although the cameras didn’t capture it, Meredith went absolutely fucking crazy on Britani during the flight home.
Apparently, Meredith was yelling, screaming, and crying about the TikTok video. She had already made a huge scene at the airport, and the meltdown continued throughout the flight. She allegedly raged at Britani for the entire trip home.
All of the women are shocked by this, except Bronwyn, who flew home separately and therefore missed the whole thing.
Britani says Meredith was also shaking her seat and splashing wine on her throughout the flight.
Meredith denies all of it.
When they finally land, Britani has to be escorted off the plane in tears.
Two days later, Mary and Bronwyn are at lunch, and Mary fills Bronwyn in on the flight from hell.
I am really sorry we missed this. It sounds absolutely legit.
Whitney also rehashes the flight with her husband, while Lisa fills John in on what happened.
At this point, it’s pretty clear that Meredith’s behavior on the flight has become the star of the entire trip.
I thought it was the unicorn.
Heather meets up with Britani for lunch, and Britani is in victim mode.
It’s hard to judge her reaction when we didn’t actually see what happened on the plane, but based on everyone’s descriptions, it sounds like Meredith went completely off the rails.
Heather can’t justify Meredith’s behavior, and Britani says she has trauma from the whole experience.
Heather slept through much of the flight, but even what she did hear was bad.
Britani is mostly surprised that Lisa turned on her after all the times Britani has defended her. Apparently, Lisa was part of the bullying on the plane and was even egging Meredith on.
This sounds about right.
Heather says the whole thing has changed how she views both Meredith and Lisa.
She is firmly on Britani’s side. And the unicorn’s.
Bronwyn meets up with Whitney, and naturally, they discuss the plane ride some more.
I am getting sick of hearing about something we don’t even get to see. It’s frustrating.
Bronwyn is frustrated too and starts wondering if the women are exaggerating what happened.
Then Bronwyn drops a bomb.
Apparently, it’s been all over Twitter that someone saw her husband looking at photos and texts from other women on a flight.
Bronwyn was so upset that she made Todd stay at a hotel and leave for his business trip early.
She tells Whitney that if they had an open marriage, that would be one thing, but the deceit is what makes her angry.
Whitney says she has had conversations about marriage “agreements” in her own relationship.
And suddenly, we have moved from the wet unicorn to everybody’s marriage.
At Angie’s house, we see her getting her daughter ready for a trip and horse show.
Angie says her daughter keeps her grounded, and she wants to expose her to more Greek culture. She wants her daughter to go to the Olympics.
Her daughter is considerably less enthusiastic about this plan.
Angie is disappointed and wants her daughter to be more grateful for her ancestry, while her daughter seems considerably more interested in horses.
This is probably an interesting conversation for their family, but coming right after the yacht scenes, it’s a bit of a letdown.
Heather has brunch with Lisa, who arrives extremely late.
I can’t believe Heather waited over an hour. I wouldn’t have.
They discuss all the craziness of the trip, and Heather says Britani is refusing to be around either Lisa or Meredith.
Lisa denies any wrongdoing.
They go back and forth for a while, and once again, we’re stuck discussing the flight that we never actually get to see.
It’s draining because we have no idea who is telling the truth about what happened.
At this point, I feel like I need the fucking airplane footage more than anything else.
Meredith meets up with Mary, and this should be fun because the last time they spoke, Mary told Meredith she was boring and to jump in the ocean.
Mary is concerned about Meredith’s behavior on the plane. She says she has never seen Meredith act like that before.
Meredith asks Mary what she thinks happened on the plane.
Mary says she was there and knows exactly what happened: Meredith attacked Britani.
For hours.
Meredith says she was just venting to Lisa and didn’t even know Britani could hear her.
Mary says it went on for way too long and is concerned that Meredith is remembering things very inaccurately.
At this point, it’s pretty clear these women are never going to agree about what happened on that flight.
And, more importantly, we are never going to know for sure because THEY DIDN’T SHOW US.
At least we solved the unicorn mystery.
Now if we could just figure out where the hell that cucumber came from.
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