We start with Emily, who is planning a big sexy dance for Shane in Las Vegas. The only problem? Shane isn’t going. His parents are, though, which isn’t weird at all, right?
Gina meets with her attorney and learns that she came dangerously close to being arrested after missing a court date for her DUI. It sounds like the missed court date wasn’t entirely her fault, although the DUI itself remains firmly in the “Gina did that” column. She was still understandably terrified. Shannon has hooked her up with a good lawyer, so things are looking a little less disastrous, and Gina is very grateful.
Gina is looking at losing her license for a year, which, in my opinion, is considerably better than jail.
Kelly attends a trade show for the water beverage she has invested in after her divorce. Tamra and Eddie are also there, and they discuss the upcoming trip to watch Emily dance in Vegas. Tamra isn’t invited.
In Vegas, Braunwyn, Emily, and her in-laws arrive first. Shane is not there. It’s definitely weird. Their suite is amazing, with over 15,000 square feet of unbelievable luxury. Emily calls Shane and is mainly worried about the bill for the hotel and seems eager to get off the phone.
We get some scenes of Emily practicing while Braunwyn frolics around the suite, bothering the butler. Kelly arrives and immediately runs into Barry Manilow. She is not a Fanilow, but it’s still pretty neat.
We finally see Emily’s dance, and although she messes up a few times, she looks great. Her father-in-law seems to be really enjoying the show, and at this point, the whole situation has officially crossed over into strange.
The next day, and SURPRISE! Shane shows up. I think this is supposed to be a nice gesture, but for me, it just adds to the oddness of the situation. If you want to show up for your wife, watch her sexy dance for your dad! Don’t just show up with some flowers the next day.
Back in Orange County, Gina, Tamra, and Tamra’s mom, Sandi, meet up for laser treatments and Botox. They want to look their best for the upcoming trip to Arizona. Shannon has planned a spa getaway at Miraval, and the ladies aren’t sure what to expect.
Gina feels badly about not going to Vegas to support Emily, but then proceeds to kind of talk shit about the whole thing and how weird it was. More on that to come.
Emily, Gina, Tamra, Braunwyn, Shannon, and Kelly all arrive in Arizona. Vicki is coming later, and Kelly is not looking forward to seeing her. They still have major beef because Vicki called Kelly a cokehead at the last reunion.
The women are greeted by the staff and a giant gong. They have a drink to wellness and peace, and Shannon has planned a sound bath for them. Kelly is immediately obsessed with the gong and the fact that it rhymes with “dong.” It drives Shannon crazy that Kelly refuses to take the situation seriously. Shannon invites everyone to hit the gong, and Kelly keeps cracking up about Long Duck Dong. Shannon is not amused.
At the sound bath, Shannon is clearly excited. The women are asked to think about things they want to let go of in life and things they want to bring into it. Everyone gives thoughtful responses. Except Kelly. She says she wants to get her water product into Costco, Target, and Walmart, which is not quite as deep as what the other women have shared. Shannon feels like Kelly is mocking the process.
Shannon offers to stand with a metal sound bowl on her head and be cleansed. Kelly can’t deal with the silliness of it and grabs a mallet and BAM! She bops Shannon right over the head, banging the metal bowl with the mallet. It’s definitely a hard thwack. Shannon, who had her eyes closed, learns that Kelly hit her and says it really hurt. Tamra has no words.
The power goes out at the resort, and this trip is really off to a great start. The women separate into groups to choose their rooms. Shannon’s head hurts and her left eye is blurry. Tamra feeds her concerns and encourages her to go to the doctor. Meanwhile, Kelly predicts that Shannon will be dramatic and do exactly that.
Shannon can’t believe this is how her fun trip has begun. She is a little scared and doing a full Shannon freak-out, just as Kelly predicted. Of course, none of this would have happened if Kelly hadn’t randomly thumped Shannon over the head, but who am I to judge?
We see flashbacks of Shannon overreacting in the past, but she and Tamra head off to the doctor anyway. The other girls discuss Shannon, and Emily is annoyed that Shannon and Gina are suddenly close. Emily feels like Gina is being distant and is disappointed that she didn’t come to Vegas.
Gina calls them and says that Tamra and Shannon are on their way to Urgent Care. Kelly is not surprised, but thinks the whole thing is ridiculous. They all agree to meet up for dinner in Gina’s villa.
It’s 8:30 p.m. and only three and a half hours since they arrived, and someone is already on the way to Urgent Care. These ladies sure know how to party it up.
Tamra and Shannon call Vicki to fill her in, and Vicki is not surprised by Kelly’s behavior. At Urgent Care, Shannon is given a clean bill of health, and they ask if she wants to press charges.
And that’s where we end. Kelly has really kicked this trip off, and Vicki hasn’t even arrived yet!
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