The ladies are in Amsterdam, and it looks beautiful. Yolanda is feeling right at home, while LVP is looking forward to getting a little crazy.
Rinna is still shaken by her confrontation with Kim on the plane. Kim has asked her, once again, to stop discussing her sobriety. Maybe, Rinna, you should listen. Kim has told you to back off. Kyle has told you to back off. Back the eff off.
Everyone takes a little rest and then meets back up to hit the town. They are waiting for Kim.
They are always waiting for Kim.
Eventually, they make it to a beautiful restaurant for a beautiful dinner, where the conversation somehow turns to the pros and cons of prostitution. Because of course it does. Yolanda says she would do it if she had to. LVP doesn’t quite understand the appeal.
Yolanda decides she wants to go around the table and have each woman share something private. She wants everyone to get raw and vulnerable.
She is about to get Monday Night RAW.
Yolanda shares something deeply personal about her daughter Bella’s DUI. Then Rinna gets emotional and, almost immediately, makes the conversation about herself, bringing up the loss of her sister to a drug overdose.
This is exactly the kind of shit Kim wanted her to back off from.
Rinna addresses Kim directly, and Kim is not having it. She has asked Rinna repeatedly not to discuss this stuff, and here Rinna goes again. Rinna insists she only means to help, but Kim tells her AGAIN to drop it.
We get flashbacks to Kim being messy at Poker Night, and she explains herself. It is a pretty bogus explanation, but honestly, that still doesn’t make it Rinna’s business.
Kim has made her boundary very clear. Rinna just keeps stepping over it.
Now Kim points that iconic Richards sister finger at Eileen and tells her to back off, too. Kim accuses Eileen and Rinna of prying, and honestly, they definitely have been.
Kim points out that she could talk about every single one of them if she wanted to, and tells Rinna to talk about her own home life. Then she calls Eileen a beast, and I love it.
The two women finally agree that they don’t like each other. Kim hates Eileen’s hair. She hates her face. She hates her voice.
LMAO.
Kim looks to Kyle for support and doesn’t get it. Kyle cries instead.
Brandi, meanwhile, is remarkably calm.
When Brandi Glanville is the calmest person at your dinner party, you have got a problem.
Rinna butts in again, because apparently she has learned absolutely nothing. Kim tells her to eat something and calm down.
LMAO again.
Yolanda tries to be the voice of reason and brings up Harry Hamlin’s sobriety, presumably hoping that reminding everyone that other people’s personal lives exist will somehow get this conversation back on track.
It does not.
And then it happens.
Kim looks around the table and delivers the sentence that is about to become Housewives history:
“Let’s talk about the husband.”
Rinna goes flipping nuts. This is honestly the craziest shit. She lunges across the table and grabs for Kim’s throat before rising out of her chair like a crazed Soap Opera character and hurling her glass at Kim, sending shatters flying over the other women.
Kyle goes flying out of the restaurant in her cape. It is a scene she recently called her most iconic.
I dunno. It just seems a little weak to me, but what do I know?
The women scatter like Botoxed mice.
Kim and Kyle go at it, with Kyle calling Kim’s behavior indefensible. Brandi is shocked.
I mean, BRANDI, is shocked.
That’s really something.
Kim is completely unapologetic. She laid a boundary, Rinna violated it, and Kim made a comment. Rinna is the one who just committed assault.
Is everyone seeing what I am seeing?
And I don’t even really like Kim all that much!
Kyle is all about what she goes through with her sister. Kim says her kids have been through hell because of her drinking and that Rinna is hurting them, and I get it. Clearly, Kim could use some help.
I still don’t think it’s Rinna’s business, though.
Sorry, not sorry.
Even Brandi points out how physical Rinna got, yet somehow the focus still seems to be on what Kim said. Everyone is comforting Rinna, and I don’t get it.
I would honestly be a little afraid of her.
For all her talk about Kim’s behavior, Rinna might want to take a look at her own.
Kyle goes on and on about how hard it is for her to be so strong.
Girl, you bite your finger and run at the slightest hint of a fight. Go to Jersey for a week and see how you make out then, Strong Girl.
Most of the women are now discussing how mean Brandi and Kim are, and I don’t even remember Brandi saying anything at the dinner!
I mean, is anyone going to say anything to Rinna? Call the police? Do anything?
She kind of just acted like she was going to kill Kim, and everyone is boo-hooing all over her.
Yolanda is ready to go home, and honestly, I don’t blame her. She came to Amsterdam hoping for some bonding and sightseeing and instead got front-row seats to a Housewives homicide attempt.
Rinna says she will never speak to Kim again.
Honestly, after that dinner, I’m thinking Kim might consider that a gift.
The day after, everyone is tired.
Why do these women travel so far and to such beautiful places just to be miserable all the time?
Kim goes to see Rinna, and all of a sudden, Rinna is willing to talk. Kim once again explains that Rinna’s concern was fine, but that her constant talking about it was too much.
I agree.
And bringing it up at the dinner after agreeing to squash it was insane.
Kim again explains the impact her drinking has had on her children and why Rinna’s constant discussion of it has been so painful. Rinna actually seems to get it. She is calm. She is receptive.
I can’t believe these two women are even in the same room.
These chicks move on quickly.
The other ladies are also stunned that Kim and Rinna have somehow come to an “understanding.”
Meanwhile, Brandi is still picking glass out of her underwear.
Man, these women rally quickly.
They are about to hop on some bikes and go see some windmills, because apparently the solution to a Housewives near-murder is a wholesome Dutch bicycle ride.
They ride through the streets of Yolanda’s small town, and it is absolutely enchanting. The windmills are so special and adorable, and for a few minutes, everyone seems to be having a genuinely nice time.
Then, in a completely staged scene that I am expected to believe is spontaneous, Yolanda randomly runs into a man she used to date.
And they kissed!
I don’t buy this setup for a second, but it is kind of cute, so I’ll allow it.
At least no one is getting choked.
They go to Yolanda’s mom’s house, and honestly, I don’t even care for Yolanda, but I am hoping these women can behave themselves.
And they do.
Miracles happen.
They discuss Amsterdam’s famous coffee shops and the joys of weed and space cakes. Kim acts shocked and says she doesn’t smoke weed.
Sure, Kim.
They all head into a coffee shop, for medicinal purposes, of course.
Kyle is pretty silly about the whole thing, acting like she barely knows what pot is or what to call it.
Girl, you live in Southern California.
Stop it.
Brandi gets sick of the act and calls Kyle out, reminding her that the last time she got high, they were actually smoking together.
Kyle looks like she just got punched.
She doesn’t want her children to know about it, which is completely understandable. But maybe don’t play dumb about marijuana in front of your smoking buddy.
Brandi has had it. She thinks these women are phony, superficial, and insane.
She may not be wrong.
But isn’t that what we’re here for?
And there we have it.
The Amsterdam Dinner from Hell!
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