Digging up the Drama: RHOC Season 4, Episode 8–Naked Wasted

I love watching these old episodes. The whole vibe and production are different, and somehow it feels like coming home. Tamra is only in her second season, but she has already changed the face of the OC. She has made the franchise harder, tougher, and a whole lot meaner.

We are at peak “Tamra hates Gretchen for being young and pretty” era, and this is one of the messiest episodes ever to crawl out of the Bravo ecosystem.

We start with Tamra, who is taking etiquette classes. I don’t hate the idea. She could probably use them. But her husband, Simon, is kind of forcing them on her, and I think that’s just gross. There is something especially uncomfortable about watching him position himself as the person who needs to teach his wife how to behave.

Lynne, remember Lynne? Ditzy old Lynne and her husband, Frank, are on a date, and they actually seem in love. Years later, we know they split, and their kids grew up to be disasters. It’s bad. They seem totally oblivious to the upheaval that awaits them, assuring each other that their kids are fine.

Meanwhile, their underage daughter, Raquel, is drinking and bowling with her friends. I would say Lynne and Frank have no idea what is going on, but I’m not sure that’s the case.

At Gretchen’s, she is bonding with her fiancé Jeff’s kids. As you may remember, Jeff was dying during his time on the show, and I feel bad for his kids. For Gretchen? Meh.

In Chicago, Vicki is visiting her family. They are having a barbecue, and it’s nice seeing these old scenes with Vicki’s mom. They light a HUGE bonfire that looks incredibly dangerous, and Vicki is screaming. But, of course, that is nothing unusual.

Vicki wants her mother to visit her more, but apparently her brother is the favorite. Her mother keeps giving everyone but Vicki gifts, which is pretty funny. Vicki tells her mother she loves her, and her mother responds, “Thank you. Do you like these shoes?”

It’s hilarious, but also a little sad. Vicki clearly wants her mother’s attention and approval, and watching her get repeatedly overlooked while her brother gets preferential treatment is actually pretty heartbreaking. Vicki’s mother tells her she has a big mouth. LMAO.

Tamra has Brian Malarkey, of Top Chef fame, over to plan her tequila dinner. Remember when there were Top Chefs on all of the Housewives shows? I feel like that was really a thing for a while.

Tamra doesn’t want anything too fancy because Tamra is a lot of things, but fancy is not one of them. Simon wants the party to be perfect and elegant and can’t seem to accept that he married the wrong woman for that. They disagree about a lot of the planning, and the cracks in their marriage are already starting to show.

We see Gretchen at yoga class, whining about how difficult her life is while her fiancé is dying somewhere. She feels like life is passing her by. I wonder how he feels?

Lynne sits down for a serious talk with Raquel about alcohol. Raquel laughs it off, and I think she might actually be drunk during the conversation. Lynne says she doesn’t condone the behavior, but she certainly seems to accept it. She encourages Raquel to never have more than two drinks. She is 18. This is not great advice.

Tamra’s house is all decked out for the tequila party, and she is wearing her best leopard print to play elegant hostess. They are having a seven-course tasting and meal, which actually sounds like it would be classy if it were hosted almost anywhere else.

Tamra’s son, Ryan, is there, and I had completely forgotten that he used to look kind of normal before he became a Ra-Ra-America Trumper.

The ladies start to arrive, and Gretchen looks gorgeous. Vicki and Tamra are going to hate her for it. Ryan is already drooling over her. Gretchen says that Jeff’s illness has taken a toll on her, and she is looking forward to letting loose at the party.

Buckle up, girlfriend.

Simon calls Gretchen “Greedy Gretchen,” and she brushes it off, for now.

Tamra makes a toast, and Lynne feels overlooked. She might want to get used to it. No one really talks to Lynne and Frank except Jeana Keough. Vicki thinks Lynne is a pothead. I think she is just genuinely dimwitted.

Vicki feels like Gretchen always has to be the center of attention. Ryan is flirting with her and feeding her shots, and she is having fun, but it’s clear that everyone is judging her and she doesn’t know when to stop.

Then Tamra whispers to Vicki that they are going to get Gretchen “naked wasted.”

Vicki thinks she already is.

Even Lynne notices that Tamra is actively pushing drinks on Gretchen, and Lynne doesn’t notice much.

Simon puts Tamra on the spot to show the girls some of her etiquette tricks, and Gretchen turns it into a chance to show off her tongue. Ryan is into it. Ryan is gross. His behavior is creepy, and it does not read well. Let the drunk girl have her fun and stop trying to grope her.

Gretchen is drunk and really loud. Chick could drown out Vicki right now. Jeana thinks Gretchen should slow down. Everyone does. Except Tamra and Ryan.

Assuming Gretchen is just blowing off stress with her friends right now, this whole situation is gross. Tamra clearly wants to embarrass her, and Ryan clearly wants to take advantage of her. Gretchen just wants to get drunk. Her life has been all hospital and no fun, and she says she needs it. Again, if that’s the case, she should be able to trust these people and let loose.

Ryan’s staring is so uncomfortable. I need a shower. Or two.

Gretchen is flirting back, and someone should stop her. At one point, he even tries to kiss her neck, and she doesn’t exactly pull away because she is smashed off her ass and making chicken noises. For real.

Like me, tequila makes Gretchen think everything is a great idea. That’s how I got my last tattoo. Don’t ask.

Or do. I’ll tell you. After a shot.

Ryan and Gretchen disappear into the bathroom, and we get a hot-mic moment of Gretchen telling him he is cute and turns her on. And then, BAM, it’s over.

The Naked Wasted episode that somehow still manages to cause controversy all these years later.

And what did we learn?

Tamra is gross.

Her son is gross.

And Gretchen likes to drink.

A lot.