We pick up with the smash-up at the Cabo dinner, and Jennifer is still holding the broken glass like she’s about to reenact the Jersey version of Die Hard.
Melissa assures her she has the wrong fucking girl. Jennifer is acting completely unhinged, while Dolores says Jennifer should get her ass kicked for breaking a glass like that.
Jennifer starts walking up on Dolores, and a very wise Danielle says, “Don’t go there with Dolores.”
For real. Patterson Dolores is not the one.
Dolores knows when she’s been triggered, and she also knows when it’s time to walk away before she does something she’ll regret. That kind of self-awareness is a rare breed in the Housewives universe.
Teresa goes after Melissa, who has left the table, and Dolores joins them, confirming what everyone already knows: Jennifer is completely out of control.
Teresa claims she didn’t see Jennifer break the glass or point it at Melissa. Teresa misses everything. It’s honestly a gift.
Dolores finds Margaret and Jackie and fills them in on what happened after they left. Melissa says Jennifer better stay the fuck away from her.
Teresa eventually questions Jennifer, who has come down from her scary trance and suddenly can’t explain why she broke the glass in the first place.
At this point, everyone agrees the night is over. They’re also all very happy they’re leaving Cabo tomorrow.
Nothing says successful group vacation like everyone counting down the hours until they can escape.
Melissa, Jackie, and Marge order room service because, once again, another dinner has been ruined. Apparently Cabo has become an all-inclusive resort with one very exclusive amenity: no one gets to finish a meal.
Melissa is too irritated to eat and calls Teresa to meet downstairs because she wants to talk.
Teresa blames Margaret for all the fighting on the trip. Melissa blames Danielle. At this point, everyone has their own designated villain.
Melissa questions Teresa’s sudden hatred of Margaret. Teresa says it’s because of all the nasty things Margaret says, particularly about Jennifer’s marriage.
Teresa knows how those kinds of rumors feel.
They are finally back in the Garden State.
We start with Margaret and her mom, Marge Sr. Margaret says her head is still spinning from the trip, but she needs to focus on arranging the gala for her hospital gown line for kids.
I know. I know. It’s a great cause. But coming off that Cabo insanity, this is boring as hell.
Margaret says the women all took separate flights home. That’s how bad things had gotten. They have the gala and Jennifer’s anniversary party to look forward to, so I guess they’ll all see each other there.
Over at the Gorgas, Melissa made Joe a sandwich. I have been married to two Italian men, and let me tell you, they love when you make them a sandwich.
Jennifer is home with her kids, who are all very cute. There are just so very many of them.
Bill is late for dinner again, and the kids miss him. They’re thrilled when he finally comes home, but he immediately goes to work in his office. Not the pool house, mind you.
Jennifer is embarrassed to tell him what went down in Cabo, and I would be, too.
She went possessed.
We also see Melissa reenacting the Cabo dinner for Joe, and he is stunned. Not exactly shocked that Danielle caused a problem, though. He thinks Danielle is trouble. And poison.
Joe calls her the Black Widow of New Jersey.
Bill is appalled that Jennifer threatened Melissa with the broken glass. This is a respected doctor, mind you, and Paramus is a small town. They better watch it.
Jennifer admits that she owes Dolores and Melissa an apology and hopes they’ll accept it.
Dolores and Frank meet up to wash their cars, and I love them together. Frank asks if he’s holding Dolores back from moving forward with another relationship. She says she doesn’t know. She went straight from her mother’s house to being married and then becoming a mom. She’s never really had to think about herself before, and Frank is her safe place.
Frank tells her he always will be and that he’ll step aside if that’s ever what she needs.
It’s sweet, and it actually seems sincere.
Marge meets Teresa for lunch, and Teresa is so blond. I don’t love it.
They dive right into the disastrous Cabo dinner. Margaret doesn’t understand Teresa’s attitude toward her. Teresa says it’s because of the things Margaret says about other people’s marriages and families. She also doesn’t like how quickly Margaret dropped Danielle as a friend.
Margaret explains herself and says Danielle sabotages relationships. We get flashbacks of Danielle doing exactly that over the years, because apparently Bravo has the receipts.
Teresa and Margaret agree that Teresa doesn’t have to choose sides, and just like that, they move on.
At Jackie’s, her kids are fighting, and one of them may actually be bleeding. So, naturally, Jackie starts reflecting on all the fighting in Cabo.
It gets her thinking about her sister, whom she hasn’t spoken to in fifteen years.
I don’t care.
Jackie calls her sister. It goes well. They agree to meet up sometime.
I still don’t care.
It’s the day of Margaret’s charity gala, and the venue looks nice in a garish, Jersey kinda way.
Margaret is hoping the event will bring her ex-husband and stepson together after a long estrangement.
I really don’t think people care that much.
Jersey keeps trying to make Margaret’s family storyline happen, but there just isn’t enough there to make it interesting. I’m sure it’s meaningful to her, but watching it? I’m waiting for someone to throw a drink.
We see Melissa at Envy, her boutique. Jackie comes by and tells Melissa that she reached out to her sister.
Yawn.
I literally sighed out loud.
Melissa wants to be a role model for her daughter, Antonia, and feels like Joe puts her down when it comes to her business.
He does.
Jackie tells her to nip that shit in the bud, and I agree.
Margaret’s party is about to start, and there is food everywhere. I wonder if anyone will actually get a chance to eat at this event. They usually don’t.
Oh, they do.
It actually goes really well, and everyone, including Jennifer, behaves themselves. Jennifer sticks to drinking water for the evening, which is probably a wise choice.
Jennifer seeks out Melissa and Dolores to apologize. Dolores is definitely the more receptive of the two. She tells Jennifer that breaking the glass was unacceptable and that it made her snap.
Jennifer gets it and admits she started it. They leave it at that.
Jennifer still has Melissa to tackle, and she is dreading it.
Melissa wants assurance that Jen is sober before she’ll speak to her. Jennifer admits she was wrong in Cabo. Melissa is still pretty pissed, but she’s glad Jennifer apologized.
She warns Jen never to threaten her again.
We shall see, shan’t we?
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