I’m going way back into the fossil record for this one. Teresa Checks In is one of those Housewives relics that is surprisingly difficult to find without handing over money, so I figured I’d do the work for you.
The first episode starts with flashbacks of press coverage and interviews about Joe and Teresa’s sentencing. We begin on June 18, 2015, six months into Teresa’s prison sentence.
We see the opulent gates to her sprawling house and hear Joe Giudice yelling for Gabriella and Milania. The girls are sliding down the banister in the foyer, and this is before breakfast. Joe clearly loves his kids, but he also seems a little overwhelmed by their energy.
In his interview, Joe says it’s been the hardest year of his life. His father passed away, Teresa is in prison, and now he is caring for their four daughters. He reminds the girls that later in the day, they are having a memorial for his father, and it is also Gia’s eighth-grade dance.
The kids seem sad, and Joe is clearly missing both his wife and his dad. He is trying to put on a brave face for the girls and reminds them to always be nice to each other.
Audriana says Milania is not always nice, and Milania says that is because Audriana gets on her nerves.
These kids crack me up. I am the youngest of three sisters in an Italian family, and this resonates. There is apparently no amount of family tragedy that can stop sisters from finding a reason to annoy the hell out of each other.
Gia gets up later than the three littles, and Joe immediately teases her about the pimple on her face. Gia tells us that, jokes aside, he is doing really well caring for the girls. She clearly misses her mom, though.
Joe sends the girls off to the store and immediately gets to work prepping the house for the memorial and getting everything ready for Gia’s dance pictures. He is even buffing the marble floors. Geezus. This man is trying to run the household, raise four daughters, prepare for a memorial, and apparently maintain the marble like he’s being graded on it.
Meanwhile, Teresa is e-mailing everyone like crazy from jail, trying to run the house from her cell. Joe says she is basically staying in a low-budget spa, and that he hates to even use the word “prison.”
I think Joe is kidding himself a little.
I’ve been to plenty of low-budget spas, and here’s the thing: if you don’t like them, you can leave. Like, any time. Prison, not so much.
Teresa calls every day, but she has limited minutes. She can, however, e-mail as much as she wants, so apparently the prison phone system is where they draw the line but Teresa’s inbox is basically unlimited.
Joe says he cries every day since Teresa went away, and that the kids are what keep him going. He misses having Teresa around the house, which is actually pretty sad. Even Joe seems a little lost without her.
Then the Giudices’ creepy, greasy lawyer, James Leonard, comes by the house with pictures of Teresa in jail. He has really insinuated himself into this family. I even remember him being the Gorgas’ lawyer back in Season 3. This man has made himself a permanent supporting character in the Giudice/Gorga cinematic universe.
Teresa’s parents come by, and it is so great to see them. I really miss their scenes, especially now that they have both passed away. They always brought such a sweet, genuine energy to the show.
I can’t figure out why James Leonard is there asking so many questions, and honestly, he bothers me. Is he getting paid for being on the show? I bet he is. Sketchy. He has really inserted himself into this family, and I’m still not entirely sure why he is suddenly such a major character.
Over at the Gorgas’, they want to support Gia for her eighth-grade dance and feel left out. Things are still tense between them and the Giudices. They say they want to “do more” for Joe, which I’m sure means they would like to have more opportunities to film this spinoff while RHONJ is on pause waiting for Teresa to get out of jail.
Melissa and Joe, we see you.
Gia gets her makeup done for her dance and gets a text from Melissa. She says she doesn’t see them much and isn’t totally comfortable with them, which makes sense given everything that has happened.
Then Teresa calls, and Joe is incredibly sweet to her. It may be the sweetest I have ever seen him be to her. He doesn’t call her a bitch once.
The girls love when their mom calls, and they say the phone calls, e-mails, and visits really help. Gia takes the phone and immediately starts breaking down over how much she misses her mom. Teresa is concerned right away that Gia is going to ruin her makeup and tells her not to cry.
Nono quietly walks away, and it breaks my heart.
Whatever you want to say about Teresa and the choices she made, it is really hard to watch her parents suffer because of the consequences of her crimes. They clearly adore their daughter, and watching them deal with all of this is just sad.
Gia explains that her youngest sisters think Teresa is away doing work for a book, but she knows all the details about their case and their sentences. She has clearly had to grow up a lot faster than she should have.
James Leonard says Teresa is a rock, and once again I find myself wondering why exactly this man is here. Is he the family lawyer? Their emotional support lawyer? Their unofficial sixth family member? I have questions.
We focus on Gia for a while and how the situation with her mom has forced her to mature quickly. Meanwhile, Milania tries to steal the spotlight a little bit, because of course she does. It makes me miss my sisters. Joe tells Milania this isn’t about her.
She says, “Everything is.”
Lol.
Then Gia comes down the stairs fully dressed for the dance, and she immediately goes over to hug her Nono. Joe Giudice is absolutely beaming with pride. He gives Gia a box of roses that Teresa sent for her, and it is a really beautiful moment.
Joe, his brother, and all of the kids and cousins plant a tree in memory of Joe’s dad. We see old scenes of his dad, and Joe explains that his death was very sudden. He wonders if the stress of the court case could have contributed to his dad’s death, and I don’t envy him having that thought in his head. That is a very heavy burden to carry.
Then, because this is the Giudice family, we go from grief to the pre-dance party, which is absolutely incredible. There is food spread throughout the entire house. It looks like they are hosting a wedding, not sending an eighth-grader to a dance.
Joe wants to inspect Gia’s date, naturally. Milania, meanwhile, is not impressed. She doesn’t like the kid’s shoes. She doesn’t like his tuxedo. She doesn’t like his earrings. Basically, she has reviewed his entire look and would like to speak to management.
Little sisters are fun.
Joe playfully teases Gia and her date, and the whole thing is actually really sweet. For all of the chaos happening around this family, you can tell how much Joe loves his girls and how proud he is of Gia.
Milania is still fixated on the date’s shoes and tells him to make sure he keeps his hands to himself.
This kid.
And James Leonard is still there, eating and drinking. I have a feeling he is always the last one to leave when there is free food. He starts telling everyone about Teresa’s sentence and how Joe has to leave for prison right after she comes home.
He is a real fun guy to have at a party, huh?
We get some emotional scenes of Joe with his brother at his dad’s memorial. Joe breaks down and says that Teresa doesn’t deserve to be where she is. He looks absolutely broken, and it is hard not to feel for him. Whatever you think about the legal situation, watching this family deal with the fallout is incredibly sad.
We cut to Joe Giudice at a construction site, and Rosie, Teresa’s cousin, calls him. She wants to come visit.
Does Teresa’s family only show up when there is a camera, or what?
Joe and Rosie are actually really cute together, and it’s nice to see him having a little fun for once. He tells her that he can only visit Teresa every other weekend because he is also a convicted felon. The kids, however, can visit every week.
These are complications I am very grateful I do not have.
The next scenes are the day of Gia’s eighth-grade graduation, and the Giudice girls are fighting like only sisters can. They are slamming doors, yelling, and generally making the house sound like a small war zone. Joe is yelling and reminding me so much of my dad it hurts.
Milania has major attitude, naturally, because she is Milania.
Teresa calls, and the girls immediately start competing for time on the phone with her. She reminds Milania to be good, which I’m sure went very well.
Gia kind of rushes her mom off the phone because she has to get ready for graduation, and Joe immediately lays into her for not being polite to her mother.
Now he really reminds me of my dad.
I got away with a lot as a kid, but messing with my mother was a “no.” There were apparently certain lines you simply did not cross.
After the graduation, there is another banquet-style party at the Giudice house, because apparently no Giudice event is complete without enough food to feed a small wedding.
The Gorgas get even more screen time, but there is not a Wakile in sight. They appear to have gone extinct.
Joe Gorga tells us he thinks Joe Giudice is more humble than he used to be, but that he worries about his sister. Joe Giudice says he appreciates the Gorgas coming around and thinks it is good for the kids.
The Gorgas and Giudices are going to fight BIG time over these very scenes in the years to come, so it is interesting to see them all back together here. Knowing what is coming makes all of this feel like watching the calm before a very Jersey storm.
Joe Gorga still can’t believe Teresa is in jail. He explains that they grew up in a strict family and walked a pretty tight line, so seeing his sister in prison is still hard for him to wrap his head around.
In our final scenes of Episode 1, Teresa calls Joe and asks if he wants to have phone sex. Joe tells us he can’t even bring himself to sleep in their bed without Teresa and has been sleeping on the couch since she went away.
Teresa reminds Joe that he has to work on his abs while he is in prison, because apparently even incarceration is no excuse to let yourself go.
She tells him they will be married forever and grow old together, and despite everything that happened, I am sad for these two and their family. I can’t help it. Watching the kids deal with all of this is especially heartbreaking.
And with that, we are done with Episode 1.
Check back later for Part 2 as we continue digging up this Housewives fossil.
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