RHONY, Season 9, Episode 4–The Etiquette of Friendship: Not Well, Bitch!

We begin at Ramona’s Hamptons house, where she is hosting a party. Sonja has just arrived, and pretty much everyone is mad at her, so this should be quite a night.

Tinsley is meeting Dorinda for the first time and is nervous because there is already so much friction between Dorinda and Sonja. Tinsley is super friendly and immediately shares the story of her arrest. Dorinda shrugs it off and seems perfectly accepting of her, which has to be a relief. One potential friendship crisis avoided. For now.

Sonja and Carole discuss Bethenny’s beef with Ramona over Ramona mentioning Bethenny’s old topless movie scene. Bethenny is not willing to be around Ramona right now and skipped the party.

Carole is hosting a party for the upcoming 2016 election, and she doesn’t want Ramona to come because she believes Ramona is a Trump supporter, which she is.

They move on to dinner, and Ramona claims to have cooked everything herself. Candace Bushnell, author of Sex & the City, is there, because apparently this dinner needed at least one person who has actually written something.

At dinner, Dorinda starts off being rude to Sonja every time Sonja tries to be friendly. Dorinda is just being mean, while chewing with her mouth open, as usual. She gets on Sonja’s case about Sonja talking to the press about everyone, and the dinner gets awkward real fast.

Then Dorinda tells Sonja to get an easy pass for her Holland Tunnel, and it is very clear she is talking about Sonja’s vagina. It’s low, gross, and completely unnecessary.

As Sonja puts it, this is not how one acts at a dinner party. Dorinda is really fired up, and Luann also piles on Sonja about the blogs and articles Sonja has released.

Sonja says she won’t miss Luann’s wedding, even though she isn’t even invited. Sonja is in la la land, but Dorinda is still being cruel, and she isn’t even drunk. She is talking about cucumbers and bananas, and it’s really something to see. This woman is out of control.

In the Hamptons.

Another guest proposes a toast to change the subject, and that seems like a good call. Dorinda keeps going after Sonja, saying she used to work for Trump and has been slandering Dorinda’s family. Dorinda won’t listen to anyone, and she won’t quiet down. She calls Sonja a liar and a fraud and starts making Grey Gardens references.

Sonja likens it to a temper tantrum, and that’s a fair assessment.

Bethenny arrives and waits outside in the car to pick up Carole. She can hear the women screaming from inside the house. Dorinda is the worst of them. Ramona finally pulls Sonja away from the table.

Sonja says Dorinda just needed to vent, and boy, did she ever! Sonja is a very forgiving soul. Or maybe she is just delusional.

On her way out, Carole reminds Ramona that she doesn’t want her at her election party. Way to thank someone for dinner.

Meanwhile, Candace Bushnell is talking to a rampaging Dorinda, who can’t believe Sonja had the nerve to ask how she was doing. Then we get the classic, iconic “Not well, bitch!” and Ramona brings out a cake, even as Dorinda hurls insults and the women scatter out the door.

The next day, we start at Luann’s house, where Candace Bushnell is still hanging around. I remember when there was talk of her joining the cast. It never happened.

At Sonja’s rental house, she and Tinsley are debriefing the fight the night before. They agree Dorinda was terrible. Meanwhile, at Luann’s house, Dorinda is justifying her behavior and still badmouthing Sonja. Dorinda is unstoppable. She gives me a headache, and the way she eats makes me sick.

Sonja and Tinsley arrive at Luann’s, and Sonja is still making excuses for Dorinda. She greets Dorinda with a big hug, and I can’t believe it. They agree they will move onward and upward, and I guess that’s the only direction left to go after you call your friend’s vagina the Holland Tunnel.

Sonja also makes up with Luann, so all is good in the Hamptons. Except for the trouble brewing between Bethenny and Ramona, of course. Sonja keeps insisting she is invited to Luann’s wedding, even though it has been made clear that she is not. There is no convincing her of the truth.

Back in the city, Dorinda and Tinsley meet for dinner. Dorinda is calm and pleasant, and it’s a nice change of pace. They get along, and Luann arrives. Both ladies are very friendly to Tinsley, and they discuss the surprise party Dorinda is planning for Ramona’s sixtieth birthday.

Tinsley also shares more about her arrest, and the women are understanding, but seem secretly appalled. I find this funny since Luann is only about a year away from her own upcoming arrest, and Dorinda assaults people on a regular basis.

But, I digress.

Next up, we see Sonja on the phone with her boyfriend, Frenchie. They make plans to meet up, so Sonja quickly washes her underwear.

In her bidet.

This I have never seen before, but it is classic Sonja.

Dorinda meets John for lunch and tells us again that their relationship is working. She tells us this a lot.

Dorinda’s daughter, Hannah, is moving out, and John is excited because that means he will finally be able to have sleepovers at Dorinda’s.

At Carole’s, she has some adorable kittens. They are both named “Baby.” So is her dog. This is stupid. She is a writer, mind you. Very creative.

They discuss Carole’s relationship with Adam, and I start to Vicki snore. Who cares? I guess I clearly don’t.

Bethenny is still mad at Ramona and won’t go to her birthday party. She says Ramona is despicable.

We cut to Sonja at the townhouse. She is feeling hurt that Tinsley is hanging out with her friends and excluding Sonja. She wants to feel included, and it’s understandable, especially since she introduced Tinsley to these women.

Tinsley overhears the whole conversation and jumps in to defend herself, saying she doesn’t have many friends right now and needs to meet people. Sonja again says she just wants to be included, and I again get it. They make up, and all is well in Sonja’s world.

It’s a big improvement from the start of the episode, because no one is screaming at her.

Until next week.

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