RHOC, Season 14, Episode 8–Miracle in Miraval: Kelly Dodd Loses Her Shit in Miraval, Part 3

The episode starts at aerial yoga, where Kelly is going after Vicki over the cocaine rumors she started about her. We get some flashbacks reminding us what an absolute shit show the Miraval trip has been so far.

Back at yoga, Kelly has stormed off, and Vicki is talking about Kelly’s bad reputation. She claims Kelly isn’t even allowed at her own daughter’s school. The women question this, and Vicki has absolutely nothing to back it up, as usual. She’s just repeating a rumor she heard.

Kelly, Braunwyn, and Emily order food to their room, and Braunwyn assures Emily that she and Gina will make up. Emily is feeling emotionally drained.

Emily tells Kelly what Vicki said about her daughter’s school, and Kelly immediately flips out. She calls Michael, who confirms that she is, in fact, allowed at Jolie’s school. Kelly starts ranting about what a psychopath Vicki is and wonders where the hell she is getting her information.

Tamra and Shannon try to talk to Vicki and once again explain that she can’t go around repeating every rumor she hears. She does this constantly, and it always leads to trouble. Vicki can’t seem to grasp the concept of discretion.

Kelly calls Shannon about what Vicki said and goes off. Vicki gets on the line and tries to defend herself. Kelly calls her a “fucking liar,” a “pig,” and a “fucking cunt.” Well, there you go.

Vicki tells Tamra she has to pick sides between her and Kelly. Tamra reminds Vicki that she started this whole conflict. Vicki blames Emily for repeating it, which is ironic because Vicki repeats EVERYTHING she hears.

Right after all this conflict, they are all going bee keeping, and Kelly doesn’t want to go. She doesn’t think Vicki will bee-have. She stays behind and swims around naked in the pool, which, frankly, sounds like the better end of the deal. While naked, she calls her daughter and tells her all the things Vicki has said. I think Jolie could have lived without hearing all of that drama.

The bee keeping is pretty boring. The women make a bunch of inappropriate comments and try to hit on the bee keeper, and it gets old pretty quickly.

Gina and Emily finally make up, and that’s nice, but also boring.

Next up, they all get ready for dinner. Kelly is fired up about seeing Vicki again. Braunwyn and Emily encourage her not to flip out. Kelly wants nothing to do with Vicki.

The women head off to cook dinner with a chef. Vicki and Kelly ignore each other, which is probably for the best at this point. They make dinner and then finally sit down to eat. Everyone is pretty buzzed up.

Braunwyn shows everyone her lactating breasts, and I could have lived without it for sure. Tamra questions Kelly about smashing up a car after painting a pig face on it, which Kelly recently did. Kelly says it was Vicki’s face, so she smashed it. LMAO. Kelly is crazy, but fun to watch.

Vicki says, “I’m ugly, it’s okay,” and Kelly denies ever calling her ugly. I mean, she just said she had a botched face and looks like a pig, so there. Kelly tells Vicki she thinks she’s pretty, and then Vicki tells Kelly she is pretty, and this is apparently all it takes for the two to reconcile.

Suddenly, they are crying and apologizing. They hug and it’s all good.

Lesson learned. Next time I have to apologize for calling someone a cunt, I will just tell them they are pretty. I wish I had known this years ago.

They promise there will be no more low blows, and I hope they are lying. They all toast the miracle in Miraval, and then Tamra gets naked. Do we really need to see her tits every trip?

During all of their time in the pool, Braunwyn divulges to Gina and Emily that she and her husband do threesomes for special occasions. I am usually lucky if I get an anniversary card, so this impresses me.