Kelsey has news, and for once it isn’t about her hair, her wealthy boyfriend, or somebody failing to acknowledge her existence on Instagram. She’s ending her relationship with the older, wealthy boyfriend and moving out of the mansion.
She FaceTimes Liz to explain that the relationship has run its course. Kelsey says she’s ready for marriage and children, and her boyfriend has made it clear that those things aren’t in his plans. She’s also got Bill, her other man, who apparently does want the whole husband-and-family package.
Kelsey explains that she told her boyfriend she thought they had reached the end of the road. His response? He agreed she was making the right decision.
Well. That’s not exactly the dramatic declaration of love one hopes for when announcing a breakup.
Liz is visibly surprised that he didn’t even try to fight for the relationship. Kelsey is understandably emotional. She’s spent years living a very comfortable life in a mansion, without having to work, and now she’s facing the prospect of figuring out adulthood for herself.
Liz offers to help her move, and Kelsey admits she’s terrified. She’s never really had to manage bills, mortgages, or the practical responsibilities of independent living. At one point she explains that when people talk about principal payments, she doesn’t even know what principal they’re referring to.
Girl. We’re going to need a financial literacy seminar before we get to the next cast trip.
Kelsey is sad about leaving the lifestyle, but she also knows she wants something different. Liz reminds her that she’s being brave by stepping away from a comfortable situation to build a life of her own. It’s actually a sweet moment between the two, and Liz seems genuinely invested in helping her friend.
Meanwhile, the rest of the ladies are preparing for their first cast trip. Destination: Newport, Rhode Island. Pack your bags, ladies. We’re going approximately half an hour away.
Alicia and Liz have arranged a stay at Seaview Terrace, an enormous historic mansion that makes even the wealthiest Rhode Island residents look like they’re staying in a starter home. There are 29 bedrooms, 18 bathrooms, and actual butlers waiting to serve champagne.
Naturally, Alicia is delighted.
The women arrive in a fleet of vintage Rolls-Royces, because apparently taking an Uber to Newport would have been insufficiently glamorous. Alicia even explains that Newport is close enough to home that she would ordinarily refuse to drive herself there. This is the sort of logistical problem I can support.
One notable absence is Rulla. After the increasingly uncomfortable events involving Brian at the polo match, she isn’t joining the trip. Alicia tries calling her, but Rulla doesn’t answer.
The women begin exploring the mansion and selecting bedrooms. Kelsey makes it clear that she wants a room nowhere near Rosie. Because if there’s one thing you need when checking into a 29-bedroom mansion, it’s a strategic battle plan for avoiding another woman.
Rosie, meanwhile, is hoping things have improved since the sailing excursion. She tells her husband Rich that she felt uncomfortable after the last group outing, but believes she’s managed to course-correct with the others.
She also explains that people with big personalities on television aren’t necessarily like that in real life. She describes herself as shy and awkward, and wonders whether the other women would prefer a fake version of Rosie instead of the real one.
Considering the company she’s keeping, I would strongly recommend retaining the real one.
Jo-Ellen is doing some shopping with her sister before the trip, and the conversation takes a more personal turn. She opens up about her childhood and her complicated relationship with her mother.
Jo-Ellen feels that her sister was the favored child, and she describes never having experienced the motherly bond she wanted. She says she was sent away to a behavioral program and interpreted that experience as evidence that her mother didn’t love her.
It’s a revealing conversation, and it helps explain some of the defensiveness and combative behavior we’ve seen from Jo-Ellen. She seems to have spent a lot of her life feeling rejected, and those feelings haven’t exactly disappeared in adulthood.
Back at the mansion, Alicia has planned an activity that is either adorable or deeply unsettling, depending on how you feel about grown women having tea parties with dolls.
Alicia loves dolls. LOVES them. She explains that she’s been obsessed with beauty, clothes, purses, and little high heels since she was a little girl, and apparently that enthusiasm has survived well into adulthood.
The women get dressed up and bring their dolls outside for a proper tea party.
This is not a euphemism. There are actual dolls.
Everyone is looking quite fancy, and Jo-Ellen takes the opportunity to compliment the group. Rosie gets her own special assessment.
“You look like a stripper.”
Rosie takes it in stride, explaining that was the intention.
Jo-Ellen immediately regrets the delivery. In her confessional, she admits she should have simply said Rosie didn’t look good.
Well, at least she recognizes the difference between a compliment and a felony-level insult.
The dolls have had their tea, the champagne has been poured, and it’s time for the main event: Liz’s masquerade dinner.
Liz has selected masks for everyone, giving the evening an Eyes Wide Shut atmosphere. The idea is for the women to reveal something personal about themselves while wearing their masks.
And wouldn’t you know it? Once the masks come off, the emotional baggage comes out with them.
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