We have had some truly terrible men wandering around the Real Housewives universe. Some were cheaters, some were controlling, some were walking red flags, and some managed to combine several of these qualities at once.
Here are 10 of the worst house husbands from the franchises we cover here at Jurassic Snark.
10. Jim Bellino — RHOC
The giant sunglasses. The cigars. The condescending attitude. The bizarre marriage dynamic. Jim was peak early-OC house husband, and not in a good way.
9. Tom D’Agostino — RHONY
The Luann and Tom marriage was basically a Housewives speed run. The wedding, the cheating allegations, the Palm Beach incident, and the divorce all happened so quickly that it was almost impressive.
8. Jason Hoppy — RHONY
The Bethenny and Jason marriage was uncomfortable enough while they were together, but the aftermath was even worse. Their divorce and custody battle dragged on for years and became one of the ugliest Housewives-adjacent situations we’ve seen.
7. Mario Singer — RHONY
Ramona and Mario were supposed to be one of those quirky, long-married Housewives couples. Then came the cheating scandal and the marriage fell apart. Turtle Time was never quite the same.
6. Joe Giudice — RHONJ
Joe was entertaining as hell, but as a husband? Yikes. The infidelity allegations, financial problems, legal issues, and everything Teresa ultimately went through made him an easy choice for this list.
5. David Beador — RHOC
The affair and the emotional chaos that followed made David one of the great OC husband disasters. Shannon’s marriage storyline was painful to watch, even when it made excellent television.
4. Simon Barney — RHOC
Controlling, difficult, and miserable to watch during his marriage to Tamra. The early OC seasons gave us plenty of reasons to put Simon on this list.
3. Tom Girardi — RHOBH
This is well beyond the category of “annoying Housewives husband.” The scandal surrounding Tom Girardi and the allegations of misappropriating money belonging to clients turned Erika’s marriage into one of the biggest scandals in Housewives history.
2. Jim Marchese — RHONJ
Amber’s husband was spectacularly awful. His behavior toward Amber, his interactions with the other women, and his general presence on the show made him one of the most unpleasant house husbands we’ve ever been subjected to.
1. Russell Armstrong — RHOBH
This one isn’t even fun to joke about. Russell’s relationship with Taylor became one of the darkest storylines in Housewives history, and he belongs in a completely different category from the men who were simply cheating, obnoxious, or terrible on camera.
There you have it. Ten house husbands who should have been left in the Cretaceous Period.
And yes, there are definitely more where these came from. 🦖
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