RHONY, Season 16, Episode 1–The Price of Perfection

We are back in New York City after a long break, and we even have some new ladies joining the crew. I meant to have this up last night, I swear—but it was my husband’s birthday and the evening kinda got away from me.

The episode opens with Carole pretending she is Carrie Bradshaw, as she often does. She narrates and types on her laptop as we see the cast and iconic shots of the city.

Are we supposed to act like a woman writing about her love affair with New York is new or cute? There was literally a whole show about this.

We meet Daisy, one of the new girls, and all of a sudden, Martha Stewart is there! Daisy is doing her makeup. I remember when there were rumors that Martha was joining the cast, and I guess these scenes were the source.

Daisy tells us that working for Martha Stewart involves anything from tea parties to camel rides, and it sounds great. Daisy tells us that she met Sai years ago at Scores, but that neither of them were strippers. She tells us that twice.

Martha and Daisy discuss Carole and the Kennedy connection. Martha remembers hearing from JFK, Jr. shortly before his death.

Daisy tells us she has been married for 10 years and has a son who is 8. Martha finishes getting ready at Daisy’s house, and it’s clear the two are close—until Martha sees store-bought pie on the kitchen counter. The horror! I would imagine having Martha Stewart over to your house is pretty stressful.

Next, we see Sai and Jessel at Sai’s house. Jessel brings a regift Christmas candle since Sai has just moved into Manhattan. Sai tells us the two are practically best friends now. Who would have thought?

We see clips of them fighting viciously in the past, but for now, they are getting along. Jessel has learned to look past Sai’s resting bitch face, and Sai has realized Jessel isn’t a snob—she’s just British.

Jessel asks how Sai’s family is adjusting to the move from Brooklyn, and Sai bluntly says she doesn’t care how her husband feels. She says they have completely drifted apart and don’t do anything together. All Sai does is work and take care of the kids. She feels completely alone, even though her husband finally got a job. It just isn’t enough for her.

Jessel thought he was retired and was supportive, so she is shocked.

Sai cries, saying she is embarrassed about the situation. She has asked for a separation. Jessel is even more shocked. Sai cries even more.

Sai apologizes for poking fun at Jessel’s relationship in the past. She explains that she wasn’t in a good place and that she should have been a better friend. Sai tells Jessel that Erin and Daisy also know about the separation.

Jessel is on the outs with Erin. They had some conflict during the Berkshires party on RHUGT. I am looking forward to seeing that.

The next scenes introduce Hailey, who is skating through the streets of Hell’s Kitchen, a la Kelly Bensimon and her crazy jogging.

Erin comes over to Hailey’s, and Hailey tells us she has been married for 15 years, but that she has her own apartment, too. I don’t hate this idea at all. This dinosaur likes her space.

Erin cries as they share some wine. She says her daughter has been acting out, speaking rudely, and hitting her brothers. Erin feels like her daughter wants her attention, but she doesn’t know why.

Hailey tries to listen politely, but is preoccupied by the fact that Erin has her shoes on and is spreading germs all through the house. Sisterhood is everything.

Hailey tells us a little about her eccentric mom, whom she feels like she has to appease. She even met one of her boyfriends through her mother.

Holy Balls of shit. I just realized Hailey is Hailey Glassman, of Jon & Kate shit show divorce scandal fame. This is fabulous! I remember when they were dating, and it was such a scandal because Hailey’s dad had been Kate’s plastic surgeon. Oh, and then Jon accused Hailey of vandalizing his apartment or something? It was great. Maybe Hailey is a keeper.

Hailey tells us she now dates women. She starts talking about dildos and gigantic tits breaking her nose. Jeezus. It’s a lot.

At Jessel’s apartment, her husband is making lunch for the kids, and Jessel thinks it takes him too long to do so. He is currently working as a food influencer, and Jessel wants him to make it lucrative so she can pay the bills.

She is also preparing to host a Lunar New Year party for the Year of the Horse. I hope they can afford it on a food influencer’s salary. Whatever that is. Jessel discusses how bad last year was for her. She lost her dad. I can’t even imagine. She tells us the loss has really affected her.

Daisy and Sai go shopping, and Daisy starts trying on clothes in the middle of the store. They discuss some of their champagne problems, like private tutors and $225 turtlenecks. They discuss the upcoming party Jessel is hosting, and Daisy tells us her husband, Eugene, will be there.

The night of the Lunar New Year party, we meet her friend Erika, another new member of the cast. We learn that she is married to a billionaire and had her wedding at the pyramids. In Egypt.

Daisy arrives with her husband, followed by Hailey and her date. Sai attends without her husband, which is a bold move since not everyone knows she is separated. Sai tells us she was not a fan of Hailey’s when she first met her, but now she finds her charmingly eccentric.

Erin arrives, and Jessel looks tense. She is not excited to see her, but didn’t want to leave her out of the party.

Erika asks Erin how she vibes with Sai and Jessel. Erin doesn’t have much nice to say. Erika asks Erin why she has tension with Jessel, and this is news to Erin, who thought they were fine.

Hailey asks Jessel how her IVF is going, and Jessel is taken aback and wonders how Hailey knows anything about such a private matter. Hailey reveals that Erin mentioned it. Uh oh. Here we go.

Hailey doesn’t remember the full conversation because she was high when she spoke to Erin, so she can’t give Jessel much information. Jessel warns Hailey that Erin often reveals information about the other women.

Then, Hailey keeps digging Erin’s grave and tells Sai that Erin also said Sai was going through a lot. Sai immediately wants to know what was said. Hailey says she didn’t ask any questions and doesn’t remember the full conversation, again, probably because she was high.

Jessel gives a speech for the new year and discusses how hard 2025 was for her. She says she doesn’t care who talks about her while looking directly at Erin, and then dismisses the Year of the Snake, noting that she does not like to be called a snake. LOL. She is clearly talking to Erin here.

Erin realizes that Jessel is being shady and goes over to say hello and ask what the problem is. Jessel says she is hearing from everyone that Erin is on a smear campaign against her. Erin insists that she doesn’t talk about Jessel.

Jessel again says that Erin was trashing her at the RHUGT finale party in the Berkshires. Erin called her thirsty and a snake. Erin admits saying and feeling those things, but wants to know how it got back to Jessel. We find out it was Chanel Ayan from Real Housewives of Dubai.

Erin doubles down on calling Jessel inauthentic. She thinks Jessel should have confronted her directly instead of giving her shady, bogus speech.

Sai comes over and asks Erin why she told Hailey that Sai was having a hard time. Erin won’t really answer and wonders how or why Sai suddenly trusts Jessel. Erin feels ganged up on.

Erin calls Jessel fake and phony, and Jessel tells her she can leave her party and walks away. Erin tells Sai that Jessel kicked her out and demands to know how Sai and Jessel are suddenly getting along when Sai always said Jessel was fake.

Erin and Sai go at it, and Jessel sends someone over to kick Erin out.

This wasn’t bad for a premiere! We already have someone thrown out of a party, a separation, and an unexpected Jon & Kate connection. Check back next week for Episode 2!