Well, we’ve made it back from Las Vegas, where the women managed to turn a hotel-room assignment into a friendship crisis and a trip to the Grand Canyon into a parenting trial. Now we’re back in Orange County, where Carmella is opening up her home, introducing everyone to her children and boyfriend, and apparently hoping that a pool party will help everyone get along.
Good luck with that.
We have Heather being accused of talking out of both sides of her mouth, Vicki becoming Shannon’s personal financial advisor, Emily and Shane attempting to celebrate seventeen years of marriage, and Carmella discovering that her boyfriend’s presence in the same room as the Housewives is going to make everybody deeply uncomfortable.
And, of course, Heather gives us the title of the episode by ordering a glass of “songria.”
Let’s get into it.
We start with Vicki, Emily, and Tamra getting IV treatments and eating fried chicken. Because nothing says wellness quite like intravenous fluids followed by a bucket of poultry.
Naturally, the conversation turns to Heather. Vicki is not happy about the way Heather confronted her in Las Vegas when she was defending Carmella. She says Heather acts entitled and makes her feel like she’s the head of the troops. Tamra and Emily agree that Heather would have reacted very differently if either of them had gotten in her face the way Heather did to Vicki.
And this is where the Heather conversation gets interesting.
Emily points out that Vicki could have addressed Carmella directly rather than having Heather jump in. Tamra, however, says Heather has been talking about Carmella behind her back, claiming she doesn’t fit in with the group.
Emily takes it a step further. She says Heather had been making negative comments about Carmella from the beginning, including that she looked trashy and didn’t belong with the women. Emily is particularly bothered by the fact that Heather comforted Carmella when she was upset in Vegas, only to complain about her afterward.
Well, that’s a rather inconvenient combination. Heather can certainly be polite to someone’s face, but if Emily’s account is accurate, the behind-the-scenes commentary is telling a different story.
And this is becoming a recurring issue with Heather. She wants to be seen as the reasonable, composed woman who handles things properly, but the other women are beginning to question whether her private opinions match the public performance.
Meanwhile, Heather visits Carmella at The Oppenheim Group. Carmella is helping Heather’s daughter Max find a rental, which is an interesting development considering all the questions about Carmella’s business relationships and intentions.
Carmella also brings up Vicki’s apology from Vegas. She tells Heather that she isn’t sure the apology was genuine and wonders whether Vicki was more concerned about looking bad than actually hurting her feelings.
She compares Vicki to Betty White, saying that Vicki reminds her of someone who simply says whatever comes into her head. Heather agrees that people tend to excuse Vicki’s behavior by saying, essentially, “That’s just Vicki.”
And that is a pretty convenient arrangement for Vicki, isn’t it? She can say something offensive, everyone can shake their heads and announce that she’s just being Vicki, and then we all move on until the next incident.
Over at Shannon’s house, Vicki arrives with something that should be frightening to absolutely everyone: a budget worksheet.
Shannon has asked Vicki for financial advice, and Vicki is more than happy to provide it. Shannon admits that she has accumulated debt and that she invested much of her savings into Real for Real. After shutting down the company, she looks back and realizes that the money could have gone toward purchasing a house instead.
It’s a pretty candid admission from Shannon. She has spent money supporting her children, invested in a business that didn’t work out, and now finds herself paying a substantial amount for her current lifestyle.
Vicki gets right down to the numbers. She estimates that Shannon spends approximately $3,000 a month on Uber rides, around $900 on health care, and $10,500 on rent.
Ten thousand five hundred dollars a month in rent.
I would also like to sit down with a spreadsheet after hearing that number.
Vicki tells Shannon that the apartment isn’t in her budget. She even points out that Shannon has renter’s insurance but didn’t purchase it through Coto Insurance. Because apparently Vicki cannot offer financial advice without finding an opportunity to promote the family business.
Shannon explains that she loves where she lives and that it makes her happy. Vicki warns her that she needs to think about what happens if her job ends or David’s child support payments stop. She also makes it clear that Shannon cannot move in with her.
I appreciate Vicki trying to help Shannon look at the actual numbers. Shannon has clearly been making some expensive decisions, and she seems to recognize that she needs to get a better handle on things. But I also suspect that being told your rent is more than ten thousand dollars a month by Vicki Gunvalson is an experience that requires a little recovery time.
And then, because Vicki is nothing if not thorough, she reaches over and picks something out of Shannon’s teeth with her fingernail.
Financial planning, insurance consulting, and dental hygiene. Coto Insurance really does offer a full range of services.
Next, Emily and Shane go out to celebrate their seventeenth wedding anniversary. Emily explains that it’s difficult for them to get away because their son Luke constantly calls and texts. In fact, the couple has to deal with the fact that their evening together may be interrupted by their son’s need to contact them.
They begin discussing the tension in their marriage, particularly Shane’s role as a stay-at-home dad. Emily asks whether he’s unhappy doing all the work at home, and Shane admits that he misses working.
He explains that he’s juggling the three children, school schedules, and everything else that comes with running a household. He says Emily doesn’t understand how much he has on his plate.
In his confessional, Shane explains that even when he was working full-time, he felt he was also working full-time at home. He feels that Emily doesn’t recognize that he needs a break sometimes.
And I think this is an important conversation for them to have. Emily has a demanding career, but Shane’s responsibilities at home are also a job. Just because he isn’t going into an office doesn’t mean he isn’t working all day.
The two of them seem to have fallen into a routine where each feels the other doesn’t fully appreciate what they’re contributing. Seventeen years of marriage is a long time to be having the same argument about who is doing more, and they need to figure out how to make room for each other.
Now it’s time for Carmella’s pool party.
Carmella is preparing her family for the arrival of the Housewives and tells them to behave appropriately. When the women enter the house, they’re greeted by a Pilates reformer rather than the furniture one might expect to find in a living room. Apparently, Carmella’s home has its priorities in order.
Vicki and Tamra meet three of Carmella’s children. Carmella jokes that these are the children she left behind when she went to Las Vegas. Considering what happened in Vegas, I suspect this joke is going to get some mileage.
Eventually, Carmella introduces the ladies to Danny, her boyfriend.
This is a big moment because the women have heard so much about Danny, particularly the infidelity that Carmella has been struggling to move past. Gina and Emily are lounging by the pool when they see him, and Gina admits that it’s strange meeting someone when they already know so much about his personal life.
Emily, meanwhile, is apparently having a difficult time keeping her curiosity to herself. She wants to know when the cheating happened, and she’s speaking loudly enough that Danny looks over.
Nothing like meeting your girlfriend’s friends and discovering that they’ve already held a committee meeting about your infidelity.
Outside, there’s a hot dog cart, and Vicki becomes completely distracted by the fact that people are putting ketchup on their hot dogs. Emily points out that Carmella should be Vicki’s people because she’s from the Midwest.
Vicki happily agrees, announcing that she and Carmella are best friends now.
Jenn, however, isn’t buying this sudden friendship. She points out that Vicki just mom-shamed Carmella in Las Vegas, and now they’re apparently best friends because they have similar opinions about hot dogs.
Jenn has a point. Vicki’s apology doesn’t mean Carmella has suddenly forgotten what happened, and being friendly at a pool party doesn’t necessarily resolve the underlying issue.
Carmella later talks with Jenn, Gina, and Emily about Danny’s infidelity. She admits that she has been angry since it happened and recognizes that she needs to let go of that anger, not just for Danny but for herself.
She also explains that her children love Danny and that seeing him provide comfort and support to them means a great deal to her.
It’s a complicated situation. Carmella clearly wants to move forward, but she hasn’t fully worked through what happened. And having the person who betrayed you standing beside you while a group of women who know the entire story watches the interaction probably doesn’t make it any easier.
Then Danny brings Carmella a drink, and she thanks him by telling him she’ll give him a blow job later.
Unfortunately, her daughter is nearby.
Carmella quickly clarifies that she’s joking. Well, that’s one way to make sure the entire pool party knows you’re still attracted to your boyfriend.
Meanwhile, Tamra and Emily decide it’s time to address Heather.
Tamra tells Heather that they love her, but sometimes she’s a lot. Emily adds that she feels everything revolves around Heather and what Heather wants.
Heather asks whether that bothers them, and Tamra explains that it bothers several people.
Heather responds that she’ll have to watch her behavior, but then adds that there are people who love how much she is.
And there it is. Heather isn’t exactly apologizing for being Heather. She seems to believe that the qualities the other women find overwhelming are also the qualities that make her appealing.
I actually think this is a fair conversation to have. Heather can be polished, organized, confident, and extremely particular. Those qualities can be useful, but they can also make other people feel as though they’re simply guests in Heather’s carefully managed production.
The question is whether Heather can hear the criticism without immediately turning it into a discussion about how much people love her.
Later, Carmella approaches Shannon and Vicki to revisit the Vegas incident. She tells Vicki that she appreciates the apology but wants to know whether Vicki genuinely believes the things she said about her parenting.
Vicki insists that she wasn’t mom-shaming Carmella. She doesn’t seem particularly interested in revisiting the details, and eventually leaves because she has another party to attend.
So much for the reconciliation.
Carmella is trying to find out whether the apology meant anything, and Vicki is essentially saying that she didn’t do what Carmella believes she did. That’s not exactly a productive conversation.
The women then get into a discussion about whether they check their partners’ phones. Shannon shares a particularly painful story about her former relationship.
After reconciling with her ex, Shannon put the number of his mistress into his phone under another name. She later discovered that the two had reconnected, despite having supposedly moved past the affair.
Shannon explains that Vicki had suspected he was still in contact with the other woman, even months after the reconciliation.
It’s a revealing moment. Shannon has been through a great deal in her relationships, and it helps explain why trust and betrayal remain such sensitive subjects for her. She may be ready to open herself up to another relationship, but that doesn’t mean the history has disappeared.
And that’s where we leave the ladies this week: Carmella trying to move forward with Danny, Shannon trying to get her finances under control, Emily and Shane trying to figure out how to be married and raise three children without keeping score, and Heather discovering that not everyone is thrilled with her management style.
Vicki has become a financial advisor, a dental hygienist, and a hot dog condiment authority. Heather has been accused of being two-faced. And Carmella’s pool party has managed to include relationship therapy, parenting commentary, and a discussion about oral sex within the first afternoon.
The women are home, but the drama has absolutely not checked out.
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