• Jurassic Snark takes requests!

    If there’s a Real Housewives episode you’d love to see excavated, drop the franchise and season/episode in the comments. I may just dig it up and recap it. ⛏️🦴

    Old episode? Classic chaos? One you think deserves a second look? Send it my way!

    Who knows what we’ll uncover. 🦖

  • We all remember the table flip. We remember Scary Island. We remember the Amsterdam dinner. But Housewives history is filled with ridiculous little moments that somehow get pushed aside by the bigger, more famous fights.

    So let’s dig a little deeper.

    Here are 10 of the greatest forgotten Housewives moments from RHOC, RHONY, RHOBH, RHONJ and RHOSLC.

    10. Alexis Bellino Tries to Become a News Anchor — RHOC

    Before Alexis became known for her more recent return to the OC, there was the glorious period when she was determined to prove that she could be a serious journalist.

    Watching Alexis conduct herself like a seasoned television correspondent while wearing an outfit that looked more appropriate for a workout video was spectacular. She was completely committed to the bit, even when absolutely nobody else seemed to be.

    It was one of those early RHOC moments that perfectly captured Alexis.

    9. Carlton Puts Kyle’s Necklace in Water — RHOBH

    Carlton Gebbia only lasted one season, but she left us with one of the strangest explanations in Housewives history.

    After Kyle gave Carlton a necklace, Carlton revealed that she had put it into a glass of distilled water because she was cleansing it.

    “It’s in water.”

    That sentence should have become much more famous than it did.

    The entire Carlton/Kyle feud was bizarre, but this tiny detail somehow managed to be even stranger.

    8. Vicki Screams About “Multiple Partners” on a Ski Mountain — RHOC

    Early Vicki was a completely different species.

    When rumors about her sex life reached her, Vicki did not quietly pull someone aside and discuss the matter. She screamed about having “multiple partners” while everyone was standing around on a ski trip.

    There was snow. There were Housewives. There was Vicki Gunvalson loudly discussing her sex life.

    And somehow this moment doesn’t get mentioned nearly enough.

    7. Ramona Competes With a Legally Blind Man Over Who Has Worse Eyesight — RHONY

    Ramona Singer meeting former New York governor David Paterson should have been a normal social interaction.

    It was not.

    Paterson is legally blind, which somehow prompted Ramona to explain that she also has terrible eyesight without her glasses.

    Instead of simply acknowledging that he could not see, Ramona essentially entered an impromptu competition over whose vision was worse.

    Only Ramona could turn meeting a legally blind governor into an opportunity to discuss her own eyesight.

    6. Sonja Expects the Waitress to Kiss Her Hand — RHONY

    Sonja Morgan was having lunch with the ladies when the waitress came over to collect the menus.

    Sonja extended her hand.

    Not to hand over the menu.

    She appeared to be expecting the waitress to kiss it.

    Dorinda’s description of Sonja behaving like royalty was the perfect finishing touch.

    It’s an incredibly small moment, but it is peak Sonja: completely sincere, completely bizarre and somehow convinced that this is a normal way to interact with a server.

    5. Alex McCord Calls Luann a “Thug in a Cocktail Dress” — RHONY

    This is one of those Housewives quotes that somehow gets lost among the much bigger RHONY moments.

    During Season 4, Alex McCord became increasingly frustrated with Luann’s behavior toward her friends and ultimately described the Countess as a “thug in a cocktail dress.”

    And Alex was not joking.

    She meant it.

    The feud eventually became one of the strangest and most entertaining parts of the Morocco era, with Luann firing back about Alex’s infamous shoes and delivering the immortal “Even Louis Vuitton makes mistakes.” Bravo has confirmed that Alex’s “thug in a cocktail dress” description was indeed aimed at Luann.

    4. Ramona and Luann Have Their Central Park Showdown — RHONY

    This entire argument deserves to be remembered more than it is.

    Ramona and Luann were arguing about their friendship, accusations of blackmail and Luann’s role as a mother.

    And then, because this is RHONY, the conversation somehow wandered into Ramona’s manicure.

    Luann eventually asked:

    “What other tricks do you have up your Pinot-filled hat?”

    It’s the kind of scene that could only happen on RHONY — two women having a genuinely serious argument while the conversation repeatedly veers into complete nonsense.

    3. Jo De La Rosa Dances for Slade During His Lunch Break — RHOC

    The first season of RHOC was a different television universe.

    Jo was bored at home while Slade was at work, so one of the solutions presented to her was to get some lingerie and prepare a sexy dance for her fiancé.

    And then she actually did it.

    For Slade.

    During his lunch break.

    The scene is an extraordinary time capsule of early Housewives, when Bravo apparently had no idea yet what kind of monster it had created.

    2. Mary Cosby Waits for Her “Pastrami Soup” — RHOSLC

    This is exactly the kind of tiny RHOSLC moment that gets swallowed by the enormous drama surrounding the franchise.

    Mary was waiting for her soup and referred to it as “mastrami” — intending, apparently, to say minestrone. Meredith heard “pastrami,” and suddenly the women were trying to figure out what the hell Mary had ordered.

    It is such a stupid little exchange, which is precisely why it is so funny.

    RHOSLC has produced murders, arrests, lawsuits, sprinter vans and screaming matches, but sometimes Mary Cosby simply wanting her “mastrami” is enough.

    Fans still bring up the moment when discussing the show’s funniest overlooked scenes.

    1. Kimberly Bryant’s Entire RHOC Season 1 Existence — RHOC

    Kimberly Bryant is probably the ultimate forgotten original Housewife.

    She was there at the very beginning. She talked about maintaining her youthful appearance and getting breast implants. We met her family, including her son Travis, whose reaction to being dragged along while his sister got her makeup done was priceless.

    And then Kimberly basically disappeared from Housewives history.

    The fact that one of the original women from the show that started the entire franchise has become this obscure is almost more fascinating than anything she actually did.

    She was there when RHOC began.

    She was part of the DNA.

    And now people routinely forget she ever existed.

    That’s what I call a truly forgotten Housewife. Bravo itself has singled Kimberly out as one of the original RHOC wives that many viewers forget was ever on the show.

    1. An actual blowup that lasts longer than five minutes.
      I want somebody genuinely pissed off at somebody else, not an argument that gets resolved before the next commercial break.
    2. Lisa Barlow and the SLC women to REALLY go at it.
      We’ve spent enough time hearing about what happened. I want the gloves off.
    3. Vicki to find her people.
      Watching her wander around Atlanta looking miserable is getting depressing. Give this woman somebody to whoop it up with.
    4. Candiace and Porsha to finally have it out.
      Gizelle keeps telling us there are problems between them. Great. Let’s see them.
    5. A Housewives dinner that completely falls apart.
      Not a themed party. Not a celebration. Just put these women around a table, give them alcohol, and let nature take its course.
    6. Teresa to actually get involved in some drama.
      She’s mostly been Lisa’s bodyguard so far. I want Teresa in the middle of something.
    7. Kyle to stop playing referee.
      She has already had enough of the SLC nonsense. I want her to lose patience and get involved instead of trying to keep everyone calm.
    8. Luann to get messy.
      She has been surprisingly reasonable. I need a little more Countess chaos.
    9. Gizelle to get into something that has nothing to do with organizing everyone else.
      She’s great at stirring things up, so let her actually get her hands dirty.
    10. A friendship nobody expected.
      Give me two women who normally wouldn’t have anything to do with each other suddenly becoming inseparable.
    11. Someone refusing to make peace.
      I am tired of everyone having a conversation, explaining their feelings, hugging and moving on. Somebody needs to hold a grudge.
    12. Less flashback footage and more present-day footage.
      I understand that this is the 20th anniversary season. I do. But I can watch old Housewives clips on YouTube. I want to see what these women are doing NOW.
    13. A truly disastrous group event.
      Something where the plan goes completely off the rails and nobody can blame editing or old footage.
    14. At least one feud that carries through multiple episodes.
      I don’t want a fight that starts and ends in the same episode. Give us a real storyline.
    15. A finale where everyone is pissed off.
      If I’m going to watch nine episodes of this, I want to get to the end and think, Oh, these women are absolutely not okay with each other.

  • RHUGT, Season 5, Episode 5

    The women are still in Atlanta, and I’m hoping we’re in for a fun, eventful episode. We’re still at the alter ego party, where Gizelle is super excited to see her Potomac girls.

    Lisa, meanwhile, is feeling nervous about seeing Heather Gay and Angie K. Teresa has her back, telling Lisa that she’ll support her if they come after her.

    Marlo enters in some sort of Cruella wedding dress. Kyle thinks it looks like a lot of work. We see some flashbacks of Marlo and Porsha arguing on RHOA.

    Vicki is really nice to the Salt Lake City girls, but Lisa Barlow keeps trying to avoid them. She hasn’t seen them since the Season 6 reunion and doesn’t want drama, but I do.

    Cynthia Bailey comes in dressed as a man, and Luann and Heather immediately are attracted to her.

    Kim arrives, and it’s crazy seeing her on Housewives considering all the scandal currently surrounding her oldest son. Sheree Whitfield and Lisa Wu also make an appearance. We get some flashbacks for each of them, and I totally get that Bravo is trying to give us some context for the women, but I really wish more would happen on this show in real time.

    Vicki feels out of place and uncomfortable because she doesn’t have any of her people. Nene makes a grand entrance, and the women go wild for her. She gives a speech and thanks the OG Atlanta women, except Lisa Wu.

    Porsha comes on stage to celebrate 20 years of Housewives.

    The ladies mix, mingle, and drink for a while. Nene seems to be getting along with everyone, including Kim. Lisa is bitter about being left out of Nene’s speech. Nene isn’t super apologetic after explaining three times that she forgot in the moment. Nene insists it is not deep, and at least the Atlanta women are serving some drama tonight.

    Luann and Ashley Darby discuss their time on Bravo’s Love Hotel. I wasn’t into that show at all. Candiace and Porsha catch up a little bit and seem okay with each other, but Gizelle says they have problems between them.

    Vicki wanders around looking like a lost, busted-up Jackie O. on her way to a funeral. No one seems to notice her.

    Lisa Barlow says she is having a great experience with the women, while still running away from the SLC girls, except Mary. Angie K. finally approaches her, and Lisa says she didn’t say hello because they always make nice with each other and then have more drama.

    Teresa rushes to Lisa’s side, and we see flashbacks of all the nasty things the SLC women said about Lisa during their last season. Heather overhears some of this talk and comes over.

    Luann and Gizelle try to figure out who Vicki is dressed as. 

    Back with the SLC girls, Lisa says Heather and Angie act like mean girls. Heather denies saying some of the things Lisa accuses her of. Lisa thinks they are trying to make her look bad.

    Heather and Angie go hard on Lisa, and they discuss circle jerks, which some of the women have heard of.

    Kyle is tired of playing referee with the SLC women, and Lisa is over it, so she fixes her lipstick as a bemused Heather and Angie look on.

    Luann tells Cynthia that Vicki is a bit of a drip. We see Vicki wandering some more, and she is definitely not whooping it up.

    Nene approaches Marlo, and we see some flashbacks of their wild moments through the years. They immediately are good with each other.

    So, basically, nothing happens.

    Lisa gets emotional and tells Kyle that she doesn’t want the SLC women who are mean to her to win. She keeps a wall up so they won’t kill her joy.

    Gizelle gathers all the Potomac women, and we get some OG scenes of the women on the show. Candiace realizes she has been left out and comes over. Hopefully, she is mad enough that something will happen.

    It’s episode 5, and I am still waiting for some real conflict or drama. This has mostly been the Flashback/Make Peace Show.

    The Potomac ladies pay homage to Karen Huger, who is not there. There are more flashbacks, and I am honestly thinking I may give up recapping this particular show. I can’t say that I am enjoying it, because it’s just a mish mash of old footage with some costume parties thrown in.

    Teresa approaches a lost and confused-looking Vicki. Vicki says she feels ugly and wants to leave. No one has been talking to her or will miss her. Teresa offers to go with her, and they tell Kyle they are leaving.

    Vicki is way crabby. Her wig has killed her vibe and her night. Porsha notices Vicki is missing, but everyone else compliments her on arranging the party.

    The next day, the women are headed to Miami, and they’re trying to beat a snowstorm out of Atlanta. Lisa is making them late and has not arrived yet.

    When she finally arrives, the women immediately question her about why she is late, and she refuses to answer or apologize. Gizelle is pissed and goes off on Lisa, who says she will apologize on her own terms.

    The other women question her about her glam, and she admits it delayed her. She refuses to justify anything and says she eventually made it, so that is the end of the story.

    Suddenly, Gizelle realizes why the SLC women have issues with Lisa.

    They make it to the airport and board the plane without incident. At the hotel, Gizelle goes to Luann’s room, and they discuss Lisa’s lateness and behavior. It’s nice to see the women mad about something that is actually happening on THIS show.

    Lisa kisses Teresa’s ass a bit because she needs friends right now. Luann says she thinks maybe Lisa has been fooling them all, and that the SLC women may be right about her.

    The episode ends, and I am encouraged that some real storylines might be coming soon.