Well, the ladies are taking their circus on the road, and naturally, they have chosen Las Vegas, where absolutely nothing good has ever happened when a group of Housewives gets assigned hotel rooms. We have showgirl boot camp, questionable relationship decisions, a hotel-room standoff, and Heather Dubrow discovering that being wealthy, organized, and particular about your surroundings does not necessarily make you popular. Who knew?
Let’s get into it.
The ladies are heading to Vegas, and before we even get to the airport, Gina and Emily are continuing their increasingly bizarre friendship drama. The two have been joined at the hip for much of the season, but apparently even best friends have a shelf life when one of them starts getting a little too comfortable criticizing the other one’s new friendships. Carmella remains the subject of conversation, and Emily is still trying to navigate the situation without upsetting Gina. This is becoming an awful lot of work for a friendship that should probably just involve lunch and the occasional margarita.
Meanwhile, Heather is still trying to figure out where she stands with Gina. She seems to genuinely want a friendship with her, but Gina has started suggesting that Heather is always looking for a buddy. Which is an interesting criticism coming from someone who has made an entire season out of being Emily’s other half.
Then there’s the actual Vegas arrival, where the ladies are apparently expected to go directly from traveling to showgirl boot camp. Because checking into a hotel, having a shower, and perhaps enjoying a little room service would be far too civilized.
The women meet Nomi, their showgirl instructor, who proceeds to put them through their paces. We get feathers, costumes, choreography, and a collection of women who are discovering that being a Las Vegas showgirl requires considerably more physical coordination than sitting at a restaurant and discussing someone else’s marriage.
Shannon is particularly entertaining as she attempts to keep up with the choreography. There is plenty of wobbling, falling, and general evidence that the human body was not designed to perform elaborate showgirl routines after a certain number of cocktails and decades of Housewives living.
Heather, however, looks fantastic in the costume. Fancy Pants can apparently do feathers and rhinestones just as well as she can do a custom-built mansion. Gina’s eyelashes are another matter entirely. Those things are practically eligible for their own airline seats.
Vicki also gets involved in the physical activities, and naturally, manages to have an injury along the way. For a woman who has spent years telling everyone else how to live their lives, Vicki is having a surprisingly difficult time surviving a vacation.
And speaking of survival, we need to discuss Carmella.
Carmella is dealing with some serious issues involving her boyfriend Danny. She reveals that his infidelity happened four years ago, but the betrayal continues to affect their relationship. She is still angry, still struggling to trust him, and still trying to figure out how to move forward.
Now, four years is a long time to be living in the aftermath of an affair. At some point, you have to decide whether you’re going to rebuild the relationship or leave it behind. Remaining in a relationship while repeatedly revisiting the same wound is exhausting for everyone involved.
Carmella clearly has feelings for Danny, and she is trying to work through the betrayal, but she also seems to want him to understand just how much damage he caused. The problem is that she hasn’t found a way to move beyond it.
And this is where I have some sympathy for Carmella. She is clearly hurt, and the fact that she is willing to discuss it openly is interesting. But there is also a point where you have to ask yourself what exactly you’re getting out of staying.
The women are not shy about having opinions on the situation, either. Some are more sympathetic than others, but nobody seems particularly convinced that this relationship is operating on a healthy foundation.
Meanwhile, Emily and Shane have their own domestic situation to contend with. Emily is trying to address some behavioral issues involving the children, including concerns about anger and how they handle conflict. Shane offers his perspective, and the two discuss how the household is functioning.
There is a particularly uncomfortable moment when Emily describes the possibility of one of the boys punching another child in the back of the head. Well, that’s a parenting conversation nobody wants to have.
Emily seems frustrated, and Shane has his own thoughts about how things should be handled. Their different approaches don’t exactly make for a relaxing household. The two of them need to get on the same page, because parenting disagreements are difficult enough without having an audience of millions.
Then we get to the real Vegas entertainment: the hotel-room assignments.
Apparently, the room situation has become a whole production, because these women cannot simply accept a place to sleep without turning it into a referendum on their friendships.
Heather has a room that backs up to the elevator, and she is not interested in giving it up. Shannon has her own concerns, and the room situation becomes another opportunity for everyone to examine Heather’s need for control.
Heather is very clear about her position. She likes her room, she wants her room, and she doesn’t see why she should have to move.
Honestly, I can understand not wanting to change rooms after you’ve unpacked and settled in. But with this group, a hotel-room preference becomes a character indictment.
Heather is accused of being controlling, while she seems to believe she’s simply being reasonable. And the women are not particularly interested in accepting that explanation.
The whole thing is especially entertaining because we’re talking about hotel rooms in Las Vegas, not the deed to a beachfront property. These women are acting as if someone has been asked to surrender a kidney.
Gina, meanwhile, continues to distance herself from Heather. She suggests that Heather is constantly looking for someone to attach herself to, and that she needs a buddy. Heather clearly wants Gina’s friendship, but Gina seems increasingly uncomfortable with the attention.
And here’s where I think Heather is in a difficult position. She wants to be included and wants to feel that her friendships are genuine. But when she tries to establish those connections, the other women interpret it as an attempt to control the group.
There is a difference between wanting a friend and wanting to manage the friendship. Whether Heather recognizes that distinction is another question.
The evening brings everyone together for dinner overlooking the Las Vegas Strip, and this is where Heather’s personality becomes the main event.
The women begin confronting her about her need for control. They have complaints about the way she handles conversations, relationships, and even the practical arrangements of the trip. Heather is essentially being asked to explain herself to a panel of women who have already reached their conclusions.
Gina is particularly vocal about the dynamic. Emily has her own issues with Heather, and the conversation becomes another round of determining who is loyal to whom.
Heather attempts to defend herself, but the criticism is coming from multiple directions. It’s no longer one disagreement or one misunderstanding. The women are suggesting that this is a pattern.
And Heather, naturally, isn’t particularly thrilled about being the evening’s group project.
The irony is that Heather is often the most composed person in the room. She can usually handle herself in an argument without getting completely derailed. But that doesn’t mean she’s always right, and the women are beginning to question whether her polished presentation is sometimes a way of keeping everyone at a comfortable distance.
We also get a little more insight into Heather’s relationship with her mother, who makes an appearance and provides an interesting glimpse into the family dynamic. Heather’s mother has quite a personality of her own, and suddenly some of Heather’s behavior starts making a little more sense.
There’s a moment involving Shannon coughing that produces an absolutely priceless reaction from Mama Dubrow. She is clearly not interested in pretending that everything everyone does is charming.
And honestly, I’d watch a separate show featuring Heather’s mother. She seems perfectly capable of holding her own against this entire cast without needing a single designer handbag or showgirl feather.
Carmella also continues to be a fascinating presence. She is not particularly rattled by the group’s questions or the general hazing that comes with being the new girl. She seems willing to stand her ground, and she doesn’t appear especially interested in changing herself to make everyone comfortable.
That may be precisely why she is such an interesting addition. The women have spent several episodes trying to figure out her motives, but Carmella seems perfectly happy to let them speculate while she gets on with her life.
Gina, on the other hand, is still trying to figure out why Carmella is doing business with Jenn and why she is offering opportunities to people she barely knows. At some point, Gina might need to consider whether this is actually her business.
Not every woman who enters the group needs to submit a financial disclosure statement to Gina Kirschenheiter.
And let’s not forget that Vicki is still Vicki. The woman who wanted to rebrand herself as a fun-loving, carefree presence has managed to spend another group trip getting worked up, injured, and generally overwhelmed by the proceedings. There is a certain consistency to her Debbie Downer era that I have to admire.
Tamra is notably less involved in this particular Vegas adventure, leaving the rest of the women to generate their own chaos. Somehow, they manage.
By the time dinner is over, nobody has exactly resolved anything. Heather has been confronted, Gina is still questioning her friendships, Emily is dealing with her marriage and her relationship with Gina, and Carmella is carrying around a relationship wound that apparently refuses to heal.
Vegas has given us feathers, falling Housewives, hotel-room warfare, and a relationship that needs considerably more than a couples’ vacation.
Final Jurassic Verdict: Heather is being accused of controlling everything from friendships to hotel accommodations, Gina is auditioning for the role of friendship police, Emily and Shane need a parenting summit, and Carmella is still trying to decide whether four years of resentment is a reasonable price to pay for staying with a man who cheated.
Meanwhile, Shannon has apparently discovered that showgirl boot camp is not covered by her usual wellness routine.
The dinosaurs have landed in Vegas, and I suspect the Grand Canyon is going to need a cleanup crew.
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