We are back in New York, and Carole is dressed like a twelve-year-old wandering the streets of downtown. She can’t believe she is back, and neither can I. I can’t say I am happy.
She says that over the last eight years, she has gotten back into writing and renovated her apartment, but she still doesn’t cook. She meets up with Erika, whom she met through Martha Stewart. Erika says she wants to be like Carole when she gets older. Does she mean she wants to be annoying and desperate?
I don’t like Carole. Sorry, not sorry.
They discuss both knowing Martha and Daisy, and then Carole’s publisher calls to tell her that her book is on the bestseller list at number 12. Her memoir is experiencing a resurgence in popularity due to the show Love Story, about JFK Jr. and his wife.
Carole tells Erika that she was set up on a date with someone who auditioned to play her dead husband on the show.
That’s bizarre.
Carole can’t wait for summer, even though she only has (maybe) five good summers left.
Abe and Erin head out to their Hamptons house, which has flooded. They found out about it the morning after Erin was kicked out of Jessel’s Lunar New Year party. Their contractor shows them the damage, which is extensive.
Their entire master bedroom is destroyed from floor to ceiling due to a burst pipe, and mold is already growing all over the place. Even the wall where they recorded their kids’ heights has been ruined, and it makes Erin emotional.
Their finished basement is even worse. Erin gets pissed off thinking about all the memories she made with her family in the house.
We see Erika teaching a kickboxing class. Hailey is there to work out—in sunglasses. Daisy is also there, so this is clearly a scene designed to introduce us to the new girls.
Erika tells us she was in the WWE before moving to New York and starting her own business. After the class, Daisy says it’s so cute that Erika has a little job.
Hailey asks Erika to teach her how to wrestle, and Erika demonstrates a few moves. Daisy says she wants to bring Sai out this weekend and asks the girls to come along. Daisy doesn’t tell the girls what she knows about Sai’s marriage, and Erika asks to bring Carole.
Daisy intends to invite both Jessel and Erin, who haven’t spoken since the Lunar New Year party fight.
They all agree that Erin talks a lot of shit. She’s even caused some trouble for Hailey and her girlfriend. It’s complicated.
Hailey’s lavender marriage fascinates Erin. Hailey says Erin is like strawberry jam—she is so boring.
Later, Daisy calls Jessel and invites her to the brunch for Sai, and Hailey picks up some Taco Bell. And now my husband wants Taco Bell. Sigh.
We move on to Sai, who is worried about what assets David will want in their separation.
Then we cut to Daisy at home with her husband and kids. We see her interact with her husband a bit, and they try to plan a date night. They have a hard time getting on the same page, particularly about their work schedules. Daisy tells us that her schedule with Martha Stewart often keeps her away from her family.
At Daisy’s brunch, we learn more about Erika and her billionaire husband. Hailey and Erin arrive, and everyone is getting along and excited to surprise Sai.
Erin tells them about her house and says it is ruined. Jessel arrives, and there is immediate tension between her and Daisy.
Sai arrives and doesn’t look even a little surprised. She just seems confused. Hailey is high as a kite, and Jessel thinks she may be the only one who knows about Sai’s separation.
Carole comes and doesn’t remember meeting Sai several times, but pretends she does. Awkward.
Carole says she hates brunch. She is just a fun sponge and a half.
Daisy talks about her son’s tutor having a crush on her. Everyone agrees it’s a crazy situation.
Sai tells us that Daisy is addicted to shopping and attention, and that definitely seems to be true.
The women give a toast, and Jessel immediately makes it awkward. She and Erin get into it about why Jessel kicked Erin out of her party. Jessel says it was because Erin is loud and obnoxious and called her a snake. Erin says she thought they had previously connected over losing their dads, but then Jessel turned on her.
Jessel says Erin should have told her she felt that way instead of talking about it with everyone else. Carole chimes in that Erin called Jessel desperate and thirsty.
Suddenly, Erin and Jessel are fighting about their dermatologist.
Turns out he is Daisy’s dermatologist, too. And Martha’s. Jessel says Erin doesn’t have any real friends, and Erin says Jessel doesn’t either.
Sai seems to be enjoying the distraction of watching them fight.
Erin apologizes for talking shit about Jessel, and Jessel apologizes for kicking Erin out of her party. Just when things seem to be settling down, Hailey calls Erin out for talking to Hailey’s girlfriend about an odd sexual encounter Hailey had with someone else. I couldn’t explain it if I tried–so I won’t. Hailey says it caused trouble for her, and Erin questions whether all of the women are piling on her. They kind of are, and she kind of has it coming.
Hailey insists she is not piling on, and Carole agrees that everyone is piling on Erin. Daisy then jumps on Carole about Love Story and her Kennedy connections. It’s super uncomfortable.
I can’t stand Carole, but these were real people in her life, and these women are discussing them like they are fictional characters.
Jessel starts discussing the current fashion trends based on the show, and Carole is clearly offended and taken aback.
Carole says she doesn’t like it, and fucking Jessel keeps pushing. She asks if Carole thinks the Kennedy family is cursed. Jessel cannot read the room, and it’s cringey. Carole wants to strangle her, and I don’t blame her.
Carole leaves, and the women watch a burlesque show. Why do these chicks always go to burlesque shows? I literally don’t have any girlfriends who would want to do this.
Back at the table, Erin starts spreading more rumors, and Erika says she sees what Jessel means about Erin—she is a certified shit stirrer.
Read the Episode 1 Recap Here!
