The episode opens with Sutton storming out of Lisa Rinna’s backyard, screaming at Crystal while the other women chase after her.
Then, we cut back to three days earlier, with Harry Hamlin and Rinna getting ready for a backyard party at their house. They head to the grocery store, where Harry is focused on finding the right ingredients while Rinna wanders around like a two-year-old who has never been out of the house before. She gets distracted by big, shiny things, like her lips, and Harry has to rein her in.
At Kathy Hilton’s house, Crystal and Erika play tennis, because Kathy just loans out her luxuries to friends, and I love that. I need more rich friends, and I need them to be sharers. After the game, Kathy greets them in her jammies and I love what has just happened here. She must be like, “Yeah, help yourself to my house. I will be sleeping, and will see you when I am ready.” This is the kind of hostess I aspire to be. I have twenty people coming over tomorrow, and am already thinking about sleeping through it and just leaving them to their own devices.
Erika discusses her separation and her new life, and both Crystal and Kathy are supportive.
At Kyle’s, she and her family are posing for their Christmas card photos. Kathy comes over to supervise. Kyle and Kathy sit to talk, and Kathy starts unloading her purse, which contains a bottle of moisturizing spray, shoes, hats, and a small Volkswagen. Kathy has everything. Literally.
Kathy says she has been talking to Kim a lot, and they both are worried about Kim being alone during COVID, since all of her kids are out of the house. Kyle says she has been texting Kim, but hasn’t heard back, and Kathy tells her Kim changed her number and didn’t give Kyle the new one. LMAO. Classic Kim.
Rinna and Sutton visit Erika at her new Hancock Park house, and it’s lovely. It’s like a little Barbie dream house, and they love it. They revisit the Sutton and Crystal beef. Crystal says Sutton violated her by entering her room while Crystal was naked in Tahoe. This, somehow, becomes a controversy for the whole season. The women think Crystal’s use of “violation” is too strong, and Crystal refuses to back down on it.
At Garcelle’s, she and her son have dinner together. Her son is taking remote classes in Japanese, and Garcelle keeps interrupting him. It’s funny and reminds me how very much fun COVID was. Once, I was teaching a class on Zoom, and my husband set off the smoke detectors, and my entire class heard me call him an “ass clown.” Luckily, I eventually learned how to use my “mute” button.
At Rinna’s, she is getting ready for the party, and her backyard looks great. Harry is cooking his heart out, and Rinna is mostly getting in the way.
Dorit and Kyle meet up to head to the party, and Dorit discusses her bridal wear line. It isn’t interesting, but it happens, so it goes in the recap.
At the party, Harry tells Kyle and Dorit that he and Rinna are getting a pool, with the hope that someday, their daughters will use it with their own kids. Kyle tells him she had her first child at 19, so it could happen any day, and Harry looks silently unamused.
Kathy greets Sutton as “Tomasina,” joking that she is a peeping Tom, and it doesn’t go over well. Sutton says she is at a breaking point with all the jokes about her “violating” Crystal. Sutton at a breaking point is no joke, as we have seen and shall see again.
At lunch, they discuss Rinna’s daughter’s relationship with Scott Disick, a much older father of three. Harry clearly does not approve and would rather not talk about it.
They bring out a birthday cake for Garcelle, and she wishes for a man who is hung like a horse. Don’t we all? Kathy says she didn’t know that Garcelle liked horseback riding, and I die. Kathy is a delight, at least for me. I am headed to Beverly Hills in January and I am going to keep my eye out for her!
Garcelle opens her gifts, and Sutton is clearly disengaged from the group, applying makeup and generally being antisocial. Kyle asks her what is going on, and Sutton says she doesn’t want to be there. She doesn’t like Crystal at the moment and doesn’t want to be around her.
Kyle takes Sutton away from the table to get a drink, and Sutton starts pouring vodka like it is going out of style. She tells Kyle that she can’t be fake with Crystal, who has been talking about her behind her back and is looking smug. Crystal always kind of looks smug, no? I would, too—if I had Lion King money.
Sutton wants to leave, and the women at the table hear her yelling, so they start making their way over to butt in. Everyone is at the bar, and Sutton is having a breakdown. They ask why she is crying, and she says it’s just allergies and that she prays to Jesus every day. Sutton says she can’t pretend like everything is hunky dory, and Kathy asks, “Who is Hunky Dory?” Oh, Kathy. I love you.
The look on Garcelle’s face is priceless. Garcelle asks Sutton what she needs from Crystal. Sutton wants Crystal to back down on the word “violate.” She asks Crystal what crazy planet she lives on, and Crystal says, smugly, “Not yours.” The women ask Crystal to just apologize, and she refuses. Then she starts to, and takes it back. She tells Sutton, “You’re upset because you are jealous. Period.”
Sutton looks stunned and yells, “Jealous of what?! Your ugly leather pants?!” and storms off. The women’s jaws collectively drop. Insulting someone’s fashion in Beverly Hills is the equivalent of flipping a table in Jersey. This is bad.
