Jill gets word that things have gone completely off the rails in St. John, so she decides to surprise everyone. She shows up uninvited while the women are already dealing with Kelly’s meltdown, seemingly expecting a fabulous reunion. Instead, Alex looks like she has just seen a ghost. Jill’s complete lack of awareness that this might not be the ideal time for a surprise visit is peak Jill.
The Bethenny Friendship Breakup
Jill and Bethenny go from best friends to mortal enemies, and Jill turns the entire situation into a season-long grievance. The infamous phone call where Jill tells Bethenny “we’re done” is the culmination of Jill’s determination to make sure everyone understands exactly why she is angry.
Jill Zarin on Ice
Jill decides to put on a figure-skating performance at her skating party, despite apparently needing considerably more practice. She gets onto the ice in a sparkly outfit, attempts to show off her skating abilities and takes a spectacular tumble. Then she insists that falling is just part of skating. The confidence is unmatched.
The Ramona Runway Commentary
Ramona walks in a fashion show and Jill proceeds to absolutely destroy her in the confessional, comparing her appearance to an alien invasion and mocking her walk. Jill isn’t merely being shady. She seems genuinely delighted with herself for coming up with the insult.
Getting Furious at Ramona for Trying to Help
Ramona attempts to intervene in the Jill-Bethenny situation, and Jill reacts as though Ramona has committed some enormous betrayal. Jill doesn’t just want to have her own feud. She wants everyone around her to understand the feud, take her side and behave accordingly.
Some Housewives vacations are relaxing. Others are group therapy sessions that should have been paid for by Bravo.
1. Scary Island — RHONY
Kelly Bensimon running around the island, Bethenny losing her patience, and the entire trip descending into one of the most infamous Housewives episodes ever.
Dinner by the canal, Kyle fleeing the table, and Brandi and Kim turning a tense night into absolute chaos. Amsterdam remains one of Beverly Hills’ most spectacular disasters.
There is something about putting Housewives around a dinner table that makes everything go completely off the rails. Here are some of the wildest meals from Beverly Hills, New York, New Jersey, Orange County, and Salt Lake City.
1. RHOBH — The Dinner Party From Hell
Season 1
Camille Grammer hosts what should be an elegant dinner in Malibu and invites psychic medium Allison DuBois. Kyle Richards brings Faye Resnick. Then Allison starts making predictions about Kyle’s marriage, Camille and Faye go after each other, and the entire evening becomes one of the most iconic dinners in reality television history.
Danielle Staub’s presence at Teresa Giudice’s dinner party is already enough to make everyone uncomfortable. Then Danielle tells Teresa to “pay attention,” Teresa loses her mind, screams “Prostitution whore!” and flips the entire table. It remains one of the most recognizable Housewives moments ever.
Dinner in Amsterdam takes a spectacular turn when Kim Richards and Lisa Rinna get into it. Kim brings up Harry Hamlin, Rinna demands they talk about the husband, and things escalate until Rinna throws a wine glass and lunges across the table. This is the dinner where “Let’s talk about the husband” became Housewives history.
The women are supposed to be enjoying dinner in St. John. Instead, Kelly Bensimon is behaving increasingly bizarrely, Bethenny Frankel is completely fed up, and the evening spirals into one of the strangest group dinners the franchise has ever produced. Eventually Bethenny is screaming at Kelly to go to sleep. Dinner has officially ceased to matter.
Tamra Barney hosts an elaborate seven-course dinner with a tequila tasting, supposedly to help determine whether Gretchen Rossi is really the person Tamra thinks she is. Tamra and Vicki Gunvalson keep the tequila flowing, Gretchen gets increasingly drunk, and the whole thing turns ugly. This is one of the most disturbing examples of Housewives using dinner as a setup for drama.
Tamra organizes a dinner at The Quiet Woman to help Shannon Beador and Lydia McLaughlin make peace. Then Kelly Dodd crashes the dinner. Shannon and Kelly end up fighting about Shannon’s weight, and Shannon eventually throws her plate across the table. The restaurant may be called The Quiet Woman, but this dinner is anything but quiet.
The women descend on Dorinda Medley’s Berkshires home for what should be a cozy weekend. Instead, dinner turns into a succession of arguments, drunken behavior, and hurt feelings, with Dorinda eventually reaching the point where everyone learns exactly what happens when you make it nice and then ruin it.
Mary Cosby hosts an absurdly elaborate Met Gala-themed luncheon, complete with decorations and a very Mary-specific interpretation of high society. Then the women start fighting and the luncheon becomes another example of Salt Lake City’s particular talent for turning an event that should be completely ridiculous into something even more ridiculous.
9. RHOBH — Dinner Party From Hell Part Two
Season 11
Kathy Hilton hosts a dinner party that quickly becomes another Dinner Party From Hell. Erika Jayne’s legal problems are discussed, Sutton Stracke is put on the spot, and the women spend the evening circling around increasingly uncomfortable questions. It doesn’t quite reach the insanity of the original, but it earned the title for a reason.
10. RHONY — The Newport Ravioli Dinner
Season 12
Tinsley Mortimer hosts dinner on the women’s last night in Newport, Rhode Island. Ramona Singer gets distracted by a man at the bar, the dinner starts going completely off the rails, and Leah McSweeney eventually throws a ravioli at Ramona. Yes, a ravioli. Bravo even promoted the moment as one of the wildest dinner parties in RHONY history.
Dorit and P.K. go to get their teeth worked on and cleaned. Dorit tells us about P.K. being pulled over on suspicion of DUI. She says he made a mistake, and they are working through it. She is involved with a charity, “Homeless, Not Toothless,” a charity that helps homeless people get dental care. Dorit is hosting a benefit for them and has invited all of the girls, and her dentist.
Crystal and Sutton meet at Sutton’s store, and it’s weird to see them getting along after just recapping the infamous “Ugly Leather Pants” episode. Sutton tells Crystal that Rinna blew up at her at Rinna’s house the other day. Sutton thinks Rinna likes an audience, and that is a fact that cannot be disputed. Crystal shares that she is struggling with her eating disorder. I don’t like Crystal much, but I feel badly for her. Eating disorders are no joke. Know that.
At Diana Jenkins’, her fiancé is singing and it’s intolerable. Diana is intolerable. Remember when Erika told Garcelle to pee on her? That was my favorite.
We go to Kyle’s, where Erika is visiting. They are having a sound bath and some assisted stretching. It looks awkward and painful.
Kyle asks Erika about her dating life, and Erika says she mostly has friends with benefits, with older men. Older men are her jam. Mine, too. Kyle tells Erika that Garcelle has been discussing Erika’s drinking. Erika admits she is depressed, but doesn’t think she has a problem, and doesn’t think Garcelle is coming from a good place.
They discuss the “Homeless, Not Toothless” event coming up, and neither of them like the name very much. They don’t know what to expect at the party.
We see the women getting ready for Dorit’s charity party, and Sutton wants to make sure to stay away from Rinna. At Dorit’s, the table looks great, which usually spells trouble. Kathy Hilton arrives with Taylor Armstrong’s friend, Dwight. Remember him? He’s never been on the cast but somehow comes to all of the parties. It’s a good gig. He is no longer friends with Taylor, though. Nobody really is.
Everyone arrives, and there is not a homeless or a toothless person in sight, which I don’t get. The women discuss how hard it must be to not have teeth, and it’s clear that they are trying to connect with the charity, but have no idea what they are talking about.
Rinna greets Sutton immediately, but it’s a little awkward. P.K. asks Mauricio which of the wives he thinks is the best dressed, and that is a dangerous little game. P.K. chooses Erika, and I am not surprised. I think he likes her. Or at least likes the way she looks. We know he likes when she doesn’t wear panties, so there is that.
They all sit for dinner, and Erika says she is only going to have one cocktail and see how it goes. I am disappointed. Drunk Erika is also my favorite. Dorit gives a toast to her charity, and Kathy tries to clarify the name and says, “That’s great,” which is what Kathy says when she doesn’t understand or care.
Kyle, always the producer, brings up the recent fight between Sutton and Rinna, when Rinna told Sutton to get the fuck out of her house. If you watch these episodes carefully, as I do, please note that Kyle is ALWAYS the one who brings up a topic that causes trouble. It never fails.
Rinna denies saying exactly that, and says it wasn’t serious. Sutton doesn’t want to discuss it at dinner, so Kyle keeps going and asks Dorit what was said at Rinna’s. Kyle sucks. Garcelle wonders why Kyle keeps bringing it up, and so do I. Next, Kyle is screaming questions across the table at Rinna. I bet the homeless and the toothless don’t behave like this at dinner parties.
Rinna says she was just frustrated, and she is sorry if it was brutal. She tries to tell Sutton what her issues with her are. Rinna is still mad over Sutton saying that she and Harry did not pay for their table at Elton John’s charity event. Talk about champagne problems. This is supposed to be about the homeless. And the toothless.
Rinna thinks Sutton should have apologized to Harry, and Sutton says she texted him. Sutton reads us the text. It even had a kissy, kitty cat face. Rinna starts screaming. She is suddenly the expert on etiquette. Crystal is embarrassed that they behave this way, Dorit wants to reveal her surprise guest, and Rinna is going off the rails in her wig and sparkly gown.
Dorit asks them to put a pin in it. They all agree Kyle started it. Kyle giggles. Kyle is vile. She has seen Rinna try to choke her own sister, and she still pokes that particular bear. Melissa Etheridge appears and sings for the group. I don’t think Kathy knows who she is, but she thinks it’s “great.”
Rinna starts crying and blames her behavior on her mom’s death. I don’t like this. My mom died, and sure, I wasn’t myself again—ever—but I didn’t use it as an excuse to be a major twat waffle. Rinna always has an excuse for running her big mouth. I can’t feel sorry for her, even though her mom seemed like an awesome woman. I feel as though both the homeless and the toothless were lost in the craziness of this event
