We are back in the Berkshires, where the ladies are at dinner and Luann is already furious because she has discovered that she is going to be stuck sleeping in Dorinda’s fish room.
Luann is fresh out of fucks to give and is being remarkably insulting about the room in Dorinda’s house. She thinks someone else should have to suffer through the fish room, because apparently Luann de Lesseps is now above sleeping in a room with fish on the walls.
Luann eventually stomps away from the table and announces that she is going to a hotel. This is not simply about the room, though. Luann is especially pissed that Bethenny is getting a better room despite arriving late, and she seems to have accumulated a whole lot of resentment toward Bethenny this season.
Luann claims she doesn’t want to sleep in the fish room because it reminds her of last year, when she was drinking. Sure. That may be part of it, but this feels a lot more like Luann doesn’t want the shitty room and has decided to construct a much more meaningful reason for why she deserves something better.
Dorinda is clearly offended by Luann’s attitude toward her house, while Tinsley, in an act of generosity that I would personally not be capable of, agrees to switch rooms with her.
And just like that, the dead fish crisis has been averted.
Back at the house, Dorinda has gone all out for Halloween, and Blue Stone Manor looks amazing. The woman may be dealing with a full-scale fish-room rebellion, but at least she knows how to decorate.
Meanwhile, Tinsley has to pack up all of her stuff and vacate her room so the Countess can have it. Luann doesn’t even offer to help and instead demands that Tinsley hurry up. Full Countess Mode has been activated.
The next morning, they have a yoga instructor, as demanded by Luann. They do some stretching, eat breakfast, and then head out for a tour of a local Morgan family estate.
Sonja should love this, right?
They head out to Ventfort Hall and the estate is lovely. They tour through the house and Sonja gets to see some portraits of other Morgans. The whole thing seems to trigger anxiety in Sonja and reminds her of the importance of maintaining her townhouse. She starts waxing on and on about her old life to the tour guide, who doesn’t give a shit. There are some historic letters out, and Dorinda fingers through them. More on that later.
Ramona tells Dorinda that it is time to get Sonja out of there. Sonja is still rambling about the sixteenth-century furniture she has in storage. They go back to the house, and Sonja is still talking about the Morgans.
Luann pulls Dorinda aside, and Dorinda again apologizes for her behavior in Colombia. They agree to move forward together, as long as Luann doesn’t ever get stuck with the fish room.
Luann gets the massage she insisted upon, while the other women lounge by the pool and wait for Barbara and Bethenny to arrive.
Barbara arrives first, and I had forgotten what a misfit she was for this group. No one really seemed to give her much of a chance, and the whole casting decision just feels like a mistake. She never quite fits into the dynamic.
Dorinda hasn’t seen her since she kicked Barbara out of her house a couple of weeks ago. Barbara is appropriately impressed by Blue Stone Manor, but then she has the audacity to not be impressed by the fish room. Dorinda is not amused.
And naturally, Barbara gets assigned to the fish room.
Sorry about her luck.
Ramona and Dorinda make fun of Barbara’s clothes while seated about five feet away from her, because apparently subtlety has left the Berkshires. Ramona is not feeling Barbara.
Barbara continues bitching about the fish room, and Dorinda goes after her, assuring her she will be fine while also offering to get her a hotel. Dorinda is all sorts of fired up by her guests’ bad manners in her manor.
Bethenny arrives, and Barbara and Sonja spend some time kissing her ass. Dorinda does, too. Sonja is looking a little drunkish.
Bethenny reflects on her relationship with Dennis and his death, and Dorinda comforts her. It’s hard to be especially interested in this, because we didn’t really know Dennis or have much context for their relationship.
Dorinda fills Bethenny in on all of Luann’s complaints about Bethenny getting a better room. Bethenny is pissed and feels like Luann owes her for all the help she gave her when Luann was drinking.
Bethenny is pissed that Luann left the rehab she got for her, and that resentment has clearly been brewing for a while. She can’t believe Luann has the nerve to talk shit about her after everything she did for her.
Barbara insists that Luann is a changed, humble woman, but we haven’t seen much evidence of that thus far. The whole situation reminds Bethenny of her mother, who had her own addictions.
Luann comes outside to say hello, and Bethenny immediately tells her she is interrupting.
Then they have a dinner with the naked chef, which is just gross. I don’t want to see someone’s bare ass while they cook my food. Not even my husband. I don’t play like that.
Sonja is lit up and talking about how she is going to sleep with Bethenny. She is wandering around with Ramona’s dog, rambling like a maniac. At the table, she threatens to punch Barbara if she interrupts her plans to sleep with Bethenny or Luann.
Bethenny tries to get her to drink some water. Sonja is at about a fifteen on a scale of one to ten. She is being weird with the dog, and Dorinda finally takes Coco away.
Dorinda mentions Richard, and Sonja says, “Oh, here we go.” She feels like Dorinda is always talking about her dead husband while Sonja can’t say anything about her ex.
And then, all of a sudden, she is screaming at Dorinda for touching the Morgan letters.
“You don’t touch the Morgan letters!”
It’s shocking and completely out of the blue. Bethenny doesn’t understand what just happened. Sonja is sobbing.
It’s another Bezerkshires weekend, and these ladies are off to a great start, if you like nervous breakdowns.
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