The episode picks up at Dorit and Erika’s birthday dinner, where Amanda is still processing her alleged confrontation with Dorit at Rachel’s summer party.
Naturally, Amanda has pulled out her phone to determine whether she used the word “accosted” correctly.
She did not.
Amanda believes Dorit was aggressive toward her when Dorit questioned her about supposedly saying that Dorit shouldn’t speak negatively about P.K. during their divorce. Dorit apparently wanted to know what Amanda had been saying, which seems like a fairly reasonable question considering Amanda was, in fact, talking about her.
Amanda then told Dorit that she couldn’t discuss it because that particular night was the anniversary of her infant son’s death.
And this is where things apparently become much bigger in Amanda’s mind.
Amanda has decided that Dorit’s questioning her at the party was evidence that Dorit is aggressive toward her. Because nothing says “aggressive” quite like asking someone why they said something about you.
So now Amanda is consulting the dictionary, revisiting the incident, and building a case against Dorit based on a conversation that most people probably would have forgotten by dessert.
The birthday dinner has officially become a courtroom, and Amanda has appointed herself both prosecutor and expert witness.
The rest of the women look completely exhausted by Amanda’s latest installment of The Dorit Investigation, with Boz in particular seeming like she has reached the absolute limit of her patience.
And I am not going to pretend to be objective here: I cannot stand Amanda.
There. I said it.
Maybe it’s the smug little facial expressions. Maybe it’s the constant need to turn every minor interaction into a major emotional event. Maybe it’s the way she seems to believe every conversation requires a full forensic analysis afterward.
Whatever it is, she drives me absolutely insane.
Every time Amanda makes that smug little face, I want to reach through the television and give her a tiny Jurassic Snark smack.
So imagine my delight when I learned that Amanda was one-and-done and would not be returning next season.
Anyhow, Amanda continues to go on and on about how horrible Dorit supposedly is.
Amanda finally explains that whatever she said about P.K. and Dorit’s divorce was merely her repeating Kyle’s sentiments.
Uh oh.
Just when it looked like Dorit and Kyle might actually be capable of getting along, Amanda has helpfully dragged Kyle right back into the middle of the mess.
Dorit points out that Kyle has known her for ten years, so Kyle is entitled to have an opinion about her marriage and divorce. Amanda, on the other hand, barely knows any of these people and probably should not be inserting herself into their personal lives.
Honestly, this seems like a pretty reasonable distinction.
Dorit also makes it clear that she is pissed that Kyle has been discussing all of this with Amanda. And I can’t really blame her. There is a big difference between your longtime friend having an opinion about your divorce and someone you barely know carrying that opinion around like it’s classified intelligence.
Amanda has somehow managed to turn Dorit asking her a question into a full-blown feud, and now Kyle has been dragged into it.
Mission accomplished, I guess.
I absolutely love the looks on the other women’s faces every time Amanda starts talking. They are trying to be polite, but the expressions are saying everything.
They cannot with this woman.
And honestly, neither can I.
Kyle now jumps into the conversation and cautions Dorit about using “strong” words when talking about P.K. Kyle doesn’t understand why Dorit is poking the bear, which is an interesting choice of words considering Dorit is already sitting there visibly irritated.
Dorit is not having it.
Kyle keeps interrupting her, trying to explain why she thinks Dorit should just leave P.K. alone. Dorit attempts to respond, but Kyle keeps cutting her off.
Then Kyle asks, “Do you remember?!”
Oh, Dorit remembers.
In fact, Dorit remembers so well that she is now thoroughly pissed off.
And THIS, Amanda, is aggressive Dorit.
Take a note.
You have spent all night describing Dorit as aggressive because she questioned you about something you said. What you are witnessing now is what happens when Dorit actually gets angry.
You’ll know her when you see her.
Dorit says Kyle has made her point, to several people.
Dorit is not buying Kyle’s concern, and neither am I.
There is something about Kyle suddenly becoming the voice of reason that feels less like genuine concern and more like Kyle realizing there is an opportunity to stir the pot.
Kyle is always producing.
Rachel actually sticks up for Dorit and points out that she cannot be expected to take the high road every single time when it comes to P.K. She says nobody should be judging Dorit for how she handles her divorce.
Thank you, Rachel.
Dorit then blames Kyle for starting the whole thing in the first place, which Kyle obviously does not appreciate.
Kyle insists that Dorit’s anger is misdirected.
Maybe it is. But Kyle also seems to have conveniently forgotten that she was the one who apparently gave Amanda the ammunition in the first place.
Dorit is pissed, Amanda is still talking, Kyle is interrupting, and the rest of the women are sitting there with the facial expressions of people who would very much like to be somewhere else.
Kyle finally tells Dorit that she needs to “let people fucking talk.”
Oh, Kyle.
Kyle apparently does not realize that she has spent approximately 90 percent of this dinner interrupting people and speaking over them, so there is just a tiny dash of hypocrisy sprinkled into the evening.
Dorit responds by making a big show of sitting there silently while Kyle talks.
Kyle tells Dorit to grow up, which is a bold thing to say while actively participating in an argument that you helped create.
Erika, meanwhile, thinks Kyle needs to stay out of the entire situation.
Erika understands the assignment.
Unfortunately, we all know Kyle is not going to stay out of it.
Kyle getting involved in other people’s business is basically a full-time job at this point.
And somewhere, Amanda is probably checking her phone to see whether “hypocrisy” is the right word.
Amanda announces that this entire communication style is not something she is used to.
Boz tells her to be an adult.
I love Boz.
Amanda then says she has never experienced anything like these women before. Dorit immediately points out that Amanda was literally in a cult.
LMAO.
THIS IS THE BEST DINNER EVER.
Amanda suddenly does not want to talk about the cult, despite having just described herself as an open book.
Dorit points out that she would imagine being in a cult was probably a little more difficult than sitting through a tense dinner party.
I mean…
Dorit has a point.
Amanda, however, does not want to discuss that particular chapter of her life and instead launches into a discussion about her nervous system.
Of course she does.
Boz once again tells her to grow up, and at this point I think Boz deserves a medal for having the patience to sit through this dinner.
Every time Amanda starts talking, another woman looks like she is mentally packing her purse.
Rachel reminds everyone that her own divorce is playing out all over the media, so she understands exactly how difficult this situation can be. She admits that she is also a little bit of a ticking time bomb right now.
Then she puts on her fabulous sunglasses and starts crying.
Boz and Dorit immediately comfort her, and it’s actually a genuinely sweet moment in the middle of this absolute disaster of a dinner.
Amanda, meanwhile, looks completely confused and overwhelmed by the entire situation.
At this point, I have one piece of advice for Amanda:
Go home.
These women are clearly operating at a level of Housewives emotional chaos that she was not prepared for, and honestly, I’m not sure she has the nervous system for it.
The poor staff now tries to bring out the birthday cakes, but absolutely nobody is in the mood for birthday cake.
Everyone looks exhausted. The energy is completely dead. At this point, the only thing anyone wants is to go home.
Rachel’s hot girl summer is officially off to a lousy start.
Later, we see Dorit taking notes for her book.
Did anybody read it?
I’ll wait.
Meanwhile, Boz is celebrating her daughter getting her driver’s license by giving her a Maserati.
A Maserati.
Totally fancy.
I am beginning to understand that Boz does not do “congratulations” with a gift card and a balloon.
We then see Amanda at home.
I don’t care.
Moving on.
Kyle and her daughter Alexia are checking out a ranch as a potential wedding venue, and it is actually really cute. There are animals everywhere, which immediately makes it one of my favorite locations on this show.
Over at Kathy’s, she and Rachel are getting vitamin shots and drips because apparently even relaxation requires medical equipment in Beverly Hills.
Kathy checks in with Rachel to see how she is doing, which is actually sweet after everything that happened at dinner. Rachel has certainly had an emotional night, and it’s nice to see someone checking on her without turning it into another argument.
Meanwhile, Boz and Keely get the results from the egg retrieval.
Unfortunately, the news is not good. The embryos did not develop to the stage where they could be implanted.
Boz is understandably very emotional, and it’s a genuinely sad moment.
Sutton, Dorit, and Rachel meet for lunch, and naturally, they revisit all of the Amanda crap from the Birthday Dinner From Hell.
Meanwhile, Kyle and Amanda go for a walk to discuss the dinner.
Kyle, being the wonderful friend that she is, blames Dorit for basically everything.
Of course she does.
Back at lunch, the women start discussing Amanda’s history with the cult.
They clearly don’t really understand what Amanda is telling them, and they aren’t entirely buying it either. There seems to be a general feeling that something about Amanda’s story just isn’t adding up.
Something is definitely amiss with Amanda.
