• We are back in Vegas, and the women are all getting ready for dinner. Whitney feels like she has made peace with everyone and is really excited. She is still pumped from driving the race cars.

    Lisa and Meredith are the first to arrive at their private room for dinner. We get some flashbacks of School Zone Barlow crawling around the track.

    They both feel good about Whitney now. Heather takes in what Whitney tells her about making peace and lets her know that her peace with Jen is fragile. Jen is still VERY mad, and Whitney needs to be careful.

    This is crazy because Jen has been perfectly fine to Whitney’s face.

    Jen comes down to dinner in an outfit that looks like the wallpaper from The Golden Girls.

    Jen tells Meredith and Lisa she is still mad at Whitney, and that seems to be the theme of the evening.

    Both Meredith and Lisa say they are good with Whitney, and Jen questions how this is possible. They explain that Whitney apologized, and that is good enough for them.

    Jen is pissed that they are so forgiving. She is planning to confront Whitney when she comes to dinner and is beyond mad that Lisa and Meredith are moving on with her. She feels like they are choosing sides.

    Meredith disengages and says no one tells her who to be friends with.

    Meredith tells us that there was a lot of volatility between her divorced parents, and that she is triggered by conflict and being put in the middle of situations. This makes sense, and I get it.

    Jen also prepares to stomp off, and just then, Whitney and Heather walk in.

    Jen GOES OFF!

    She storms past them and even slaps Heather’s hand out of the way when Heather tries to stop her.

    Jen comes back for her purse and gets in a perplexed Whitney’s face. When Heather tries to defend her, Jen gets in Heather’s face, too.

    Lisa goes after Jen, while Whitney is feeling unsafe, which is understandable. Both Whitney and Heather are shaking and look completely shell-shocked.

    Whitney feels like she is in the Twilight Zone.

    Lisa agrees that Jen’s behavior is outrageous, but still blames Whitney for causing trouble in the first place.

    Whitney reveals that Jen says things about all of the women behind their backs. She says Jen has claimed that Meredith is cheating on her husband, which immediately pisses Lisa off.

    Whitney also tells Lisa that Jen said Lisa has been talking shit about Whitney.

    Now Lisa is mad, too.

    Meanwhile, in her room, Jen is still popping off, screaming on the phone with her husband.

    The other women meet up in Whitney’s room, and Meredith reappears. They fill her in on everything she missed.

    Whitney tells Meredith what Jen has been saying about her marriage. Meredith reveals that she and Seth have been separated on and off for years and that, during some of those separations, she has seen other people.

    As her best friend, Lisa is shocked that she didn’t know this. Her feelings are hurt.

    Meredith assures everyone that she and Seth are now reconciled and that there is nothing else to discuss.

    They agree that Jen is completely out of control, except Heather, who insists that Jen has redeeming qualities. They point out that Jen doesn’t exactly defend Heather when she’s going after everyone else, but Heather remains unmoved.

    The next day, we find out that Jen left overnight.

    Whitney says the trip is a complete shit show.

    Back in Salt Lake City, Mary gets a call from Lisa, who brings her up to speed on the disaster in Vegas so far. Mary is happy to have missed it and says she warned the women about Jen. 

    The women gather at the hotel to meet for a surprise event. Heather says she is running late and will meet them there, but instead, she hunts Jen down.

    I thought she left? So did Heather.

    It turns out that Jen’s “team” talked her into staying. Heather is surprised by how calm and pleasant Jen is. Heather tells her that everybody else is freaking out.

    Heather calls Jen out for going crazy on her and pushing her. Jen is standing firm that she is right. Heather tells her that everyone is now talking about how aggressive Jen is.

    Heather tells Jen she fucked up, and Jen starts going off again. They go around and around in circles, and neither one seems willing to budge.

    The other women arrive at the surprise event, and it turns out Whitney has arranged for them to meet with Kimberly, an author who has invited them to her home to help them find their inner voices.

    I don’t think any of these women need help finding their voice, but that’s just me.

    They start without Heather. Kimberly has them close their eyes and try to enter a trance state.

    This shit never works for me.

    Heather arrives.

    With Jen.

    The other women look physically ill.

    There is a lot of ball talk, and none of the women seem to really go into a trance. Jen says she is not comfortable.

    They move on to another activity, and Kimberly has them sit around on the couch. She says she feels a lot of damage within the group.

    Jen tells Kimberly her version of what happened at dinner the night before and starts crying. She feels sorry for herself, while the other women try to reason with her.

    The problem is that Jen doesn’t seem to remember things clearly or accurately.

    Heather calls her out, and Whitney says she feels like Jen is holding a grudge.

    We go over Coach Shah’s birthday party AGAIN, and it’s so old I could cry.

    Jen won’t let anybody talk. She says she is a loyal friend, and Meredith tells her she is not and has been talking about Meredith’s marriage. She tells Jen to mind her own business.

    Meredith warns Jen that she doesn’t want to make her angry.

    Jen denies speaking about her marriage. Whitney calls bullshit.

    Jen tries to apologize but isn’t very good at it.

    Then they play a fun little game about trust. Kimberly asks who doesn’t trust Jen, and everyone raises their hand.

    Oh, dear.

    Jen says she doesn’t trust Heather. Heather is stunned because she feels like she has been a good friend to Jen.

    Whitney moves away from Jen and sits somewhere else.

    Heather says that last night was aggressive and violent, and she feels it was directed at her.

    The women all agree that Jen is out of control.

    Jen absolutely doesn’t get it.

    Literally everyone on the show, including her husband, has told this woman she needs to calm the fuck down, and she still doesn’t get it.

    If she keeps up like this, she could wind up in jail, or something.

  • At Mary’s house, she is making a smoothie for Robert Sr. and discussing whether or not they should sell their house.

    Meredith is shopping with Brooks, who continues to crack me up.

    At Jen’s, she is planning a double date to set up Heather. Meanwhile, Whitney is having a family dinner to celebrate and support her father’s sobriety. The whole family hasn’t been together in ten years.

    Whitney tells us her family dynamics are deep and dark. I feel like I should care more about this, but I don’t. Her dad says they had a great family, and the kids are pretty quiet, which speaks volumes.

    We cut to the double date, and Heather’s date is Coach Shah’s best friend, Big Daddy. Heather clearly likes him and is very flirty, until he doesn’t want to drink, which bums her out.

    I am gonna be honest here, Big Daddy doesn’t seem interested, and the date is a Big Snooze. He is polite, and that’s about it. He talks a lot about his work. It’s a little like a TED Talk with tenderloin.

    Whitney tells us she is planning a girls’ trip to Vegas, even though pretty much everyone is mad at her right now. All the girls are in except for Mary and Lisa. Mary says if Jen is going, she is out, and declines the invite. Lisa is unsure because she is mad at Whitney and thinks she is a troublemaker.

    Lisa and Meredith talk on the phone, and Lisa is still on the fence. We see shots of everyone packing, and then they head off to the airport.

    Lisa went ahead and went to Vegas before the girls. She will be meeting up with them, but Whitney is annoyed that Lisa never told her she was coming. These two are definitely still on the outs.

    They arrive in Vegas and need an extra stretch limo just for Jen’s luggage.

    How DOES she afford all of those clothes, I wonder?

    We see flashbacks explaining why most of the women are mad at Whitney, especially Jen and Lisa.

    At the hotel, Whitney tells everyone they are going to drive exotic cars, and they need to be ready in an hour.

    Jen immediately announces that she has a special surprise planned for Heather, also in an hour, so they can’t go. Whitney feels like her own trip is being hijacked.

    In her room, Whitney tells Heather how annoyed she is. Now she is stuck going race car driving with Lisa and Meredith, neither of whom particularly likes her at the moment.

    Meredith meets up with Lisa, and Lisa is actually excited about driving the cars. But, she still doesn’t dig Whitney. Neither does Meredith. Whitney is hoping for a chance to explain herself and make peace. 

    Meredith feels that Jen has been talking behind her back. We get a lot of flashbacks, and it’s pretty clear that we are building up to some kind of big fight here.

    Heather and Jen head out to Heather’s surprise. It’s a private shopping event with exclusive items and personal shoppers.

    Now this is a lot better than that blind date!

    They do lots of shopping and take lots of pictures. Jen topples off the bar while posing, and it’s pretty funny.

    The other trio of women set off to the race car event. The drive to the track is super quiet and awkward. Lisa cuts Whitney off whenever she tries to speak.

    At the track, Lisa brags about her experience racing and driving fast cars.

    They get into their cars, and Lisa is the slowest one.

    After all of that bragging about her racing experience and how much she loves driving fast cars, we see scene after scene of her literally crawling along the track.

    It’s ridiculous.

    She drives slower than my grandmother, and my grandmother is dead.

    After racing, they finally get around to talking about their beef. Whitney apologizes for causing trouble between Meredith, Lisa, and Jen. She takes accountability for her part in the drama, but Lisa goes on and on about how wrong she was.

    They finally agree to move on. Lisa says she forgives easily.

    I laugh.

    Jen tells Heather that she is still mad at Whitney for ruining her husband’s birthday party. Jen is really heated, and Heather is being supportive of Whitney, which Jen clearly resents. Jen wants Heather to stand up for her.

    Jen says she would bitch-slap Whitney if she weren’t Heather’s friend.

    Whitney, meanwhile, thinks she and Jen have reconciled and that they are all good.

    We are barely through our first day in Vegas, and I have a feeling we are gearing up for a dinner from hell.

    Check back for Part 2!

  • Judging by the title of the next episode, I have been spelling Faye Resnick’s name wrong in earlier recaps. Oh, well. I don’t like her anyway.

    I actually once saw Faye at a Beverly Hills restaurant that shall not be named. She looks like an animatronic from Disney World. Only her eyes move.

    Anyhow, let’s dig into this wild episode of Beverly Hills.

    It opens with Kyle and Mauricio, whose house has been egged. Mauricio says he’s so upset about it, but he seems pretty blasé considering someone just pelted his house with eggs. He calls Alexia outside to see the damage and SURPRISE—they’ve bought her a brand-new white Mercedes.

    She’s like sixteen.

    Alexia is completely blown away, and it really is a nice family moment, even if I’m a little jealous that a teenager is getting a Mercedes while I’m over here trying to justify my life choices.

    Next, we have Brandi having lunch with her book agents. I read her first book, and it was funny and cute, kind of like Brandi used to be.

    Brandi is excited about her book deal and feels that the other women, minus Lisa Vanderpump, haven’t been very supportive of her. She seems genuinely happy about the opportunity, and I can understand why she would be disappointed that the other women aren’t exactly lining up to congratulate her.

    Then we have Lisa Vanderpump dealing with some crap involving her servers at SUR. This is probably interesting if you watch Vanderpump Rules, but I don’t, so it isn’t.

    It is a little neat for me because I have actually been to SUR. It’s a very cool restaurant, and the prices aren’t bad considering you’re in Beverly Hills. But watching Lisa deal with all the drama makes me wonder what those servers are getting up to in the back, if you know what I mean.

    While we were at SUR, we had a very nice server who waited on us, got us our drinks, and then asked us to excuse her because she had to film her “coming to work” scene. We then watched them shoot it four or five times.

    It was VERY Los Angeles.

    But I digress, as I often do. Back to the recap of this Jurassic fossil.

    We cut to Brandi, who is getting ready to do a tasting with the ladies at SUR. Basically, Season 3 of this show is one big lead-in to Vanderpump Rules, so we see A LOT of SUR this season.

    Brandi calls Lisa to make sure she won’t have Brandi’s ex-husband’s mistress working that night.

    Beverly Hills sure is a small town.

    Back at, you guessed it, SUR, Lisa is interacting with the Vanderpump Rules cast and getting ready for her guests. Lisa tells us that Ken is having his hip replaced the next day.

    But tonight, he is at a party.

    Like, what?

    I would be freaking out, but that’s me.

    Everyone arrives and they do the double-kiss thing. I can’t stand being touched once, so this two-kiss thing makes me cringe. But when in Beverly Hills, right?

    They sit down to dinner and Lisa immediately pries into Kim’s sobriety and asks if she feels like she will relapse. It’s awfully personal for a dinner party.

    Kim says certain people, like Kyle, still cause her stress. Kyle says she is proud of Kim, and they all agree to drink to that!

    Um.

    Awkward.

    Adrienne isn’t there because she had something else to do, so Brandi immediately starts making fun of her.

    Kyle asks Brandi what has gone down between her and Adrienne.

    Remember this.

    Kyle starts this conversation.

    Brandi says a lot of things have happened, but that mainly, she feels like Adrienne is fake and a liar. Then she drops a bomb on the table, but the whole thing is cut out and we only see everyone’s reactions.

    Later, of course, we will find out what Brandi revealed: Adrienne’s children were carried by a surrogate, something Adrienne had apparently chosen not to disclose publicly.

    Maybe because she thought it was no one’s business?

    This bombshell, such as it is, becomes a huge theme for the rest of the season, without anyone directly addressing what Brandi actually said because Adrienne threatened to sue Bravo if they revealed it.

    It was a huge mess that ultimately led to Adrienne’s firing, and we are digging up the foundation here.

    After dinner, Kim pulls Taylor aside to discuss Brandi’s revelation. They agree that Brandi has gone too far and that this is really bad. Adrienne is super protective of her family, and this shit is going to explode.

    At Adrienne and Paul’s house, they are blissfully unaware of the bomb that has just been dropped and are hosting a family barbecue and bickering.

    Kyle is preparing for a party celebrating Mauricio’s new venture, The Agency. It’s one of the company’s first big events, and it’s being held on a gorgeous rooftop. Everything looks great, and Mauricio is in full sales mode, hitting up Camille and showing her some investment opportunities in the building.

    Lisa Vanderpump can’t make it, so instead we see her at the hospital for Ken’s surgery. They joke around a lot, but both admit they are rather nervous about it.

    Ken makes it through surgery well, of course, and all is fine.

    Back at the party, everyone is looking fabulous and having a good time when Paul and Adrienne arrive. Brandi tries to avoid them.

    Kim pulls Adrienne and Paul aside and, uh oh, here we go.

    She tells them what Brandi said at SUR. I can’t help wondering if this is on purpose to ruin Kyle’s event. Kim and Kyle have many bitter resentments, and this seems like Kim’s way of getting back at her sister for all the times that she has embarrassed her.

    Everyone is watching this exchange like it is an asteroid approaching the event.

    Paul is PISSED. He says the comments were completely defamatory, and Adrienne says she is going to get slapped with a big fat lawsuit.

    Paul tells Adrienne, “You better let me do something, otherwise, we are leaving,” and it’s clear that he means it.

    They say they are leaving, and Mauricio asks why. Paul very loudly says, “We just heard that comments that bitch made,” making it pretty obvious that he is talking about Brandi.

    He approaches Brandi directly and tells her she doesn’t even know what he wants to do right now. To me, it seems like he means something physical, and Brandi seems to understand it that way, too.

    Then Paul calls her a bitch.

    Twice.

    They are soon in each other’s faces, screaming, while everyone else stands around watching this disaster unfold.

    Kyle can’t believe that Kim has set this whole thing off.

    Well, actually, Kyle, you brought it up at the dinner!

    Adrienne and Brandi go back and forth calling each other liars, while Paul calls Brandi a “piece of shit.”

    So much for Mauricio’s classy rooftop business event.

    Brandi calls Adrienne a “bitch,” and Paul gets even more heated. He moves closer to her and demands, “You call my wife a bitch?!”

    I like a man who sticks up for his wife, but this is ugly. He accuses Brandi of wanting to hit him, although from where I’m sitting, it seems more like the threat is coming from the other direction.

    Adrienne and Paul storm out, and Taylor immediately makes it about her, saying that seeing that kind of anger frightens her. That’s understandable, but I can’t help feeling like she also wants some attention.

    Adrienne warns Kyle to watch what is going to happen.

    And just like that, Kyle’s event is ruined, Kim has gotten some satisfaction, and Paul has officially lost his shit.

  • Welcome to Jurassic Snark

    Think of Jurassic Snark as an excavation dig. There’s a lot buried here!

    The best way to explore the site is to scroll down and dig into the franchise categories, where you’ll find snarky recaps of key episodes from Beverly Hills, Salt Lake City, Orange County, New Jersey, and New York.

    New episodes are being added all the time, and I’ll also be recapping the new season of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City as it airs.

    Jurassic Snark is still growing, and I’m working on improving the site’s design and accessibility as we go. So grab your metaphorical shovel, pick a franchise, and start digging.

    You never know what Housewives fossil you might uncover. 🦖